If you want to have kids then start trying. Once you've had your first child, you'll realize that you need to take a close look at your monthly spending. You should already have a monthly budget but I know a lot of people don't so that would be a good time to draw up a budget (if not before the baby is here). You should see quite a few things you can cut out.

You will have to live a less expensive life than you have now. You can't go out as much and buying big ticket items may have to be deferred. We need to replace some of our furniture but can't afford it right now because we have kids and we're using our extra money to pay off debt. Our car (we have one) is also 13 years old with 185k miles on it. It still runs but if it starts to have problems we will replace it, right now we have liability only insurance which alone saves a lot of money every year. We would both like new furniture, a new car, and to do some work on the house but we just can't do it right now. Once we pay off the debt we can start looking at what to do with the monthly money we were spending on payments. We're hoping to get another 2-4 years out of the car because no payment and low insurance cost greatly increases cash flow.

Long story short, you have to make sacrifices, plan things out in advance, and spend less on frivolous things (although you still have to be able to enjoy yourself some).

From the Midwest here - I knew of exactly one person who had a baby at 15 - it was a poverty situation and the baby was given up for adoption.

I knew a handful of others who had kids in early 20s, but most waited until late 20's/early 30s and some are just getting started at 35/36.

I think it's a class thing, not a Midwest thing.

Anonymous wrote:We afforded them by buying them through a layaway plan. Unfortunately, by the time we finally pay each one off and get them, it's time to send them off to college.

Best response of the thread.

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Anonymous wrote:This is why the average age of first time moms in DC is 38. Lots of women spend a decade working on their careers, paying off all debts, building lots of equity in homes, and THEN having children.

That is sad

Nope. Sad is being 45, an empty nester and having no employable skills.

Where I'm from most woman don't work. They have children very young and are usually done having kids by 25. By 35 they are usually taking care of grandkids if their daughters stay in school after getting pregnant at age 15.

Where is that?

Mid west

Just confirming, that yes, this is the norm in the Midwest.

This is absolutely not the norm in the Midwest, which is a huge place. I'm from Wisconsin and, yes, many of my classmates did have kids in their 20's, but plenty waited until late 20's/early 30's. There were definitely people having kids at 15, but not many.

We afforded them by buying them through a layaway plan. Unfortunately, by the time we finally pay each one off and get them, it's time to send them off to college.

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Anonymous wrote:I could never lower my standard of living like that just to have kids.

Then why the hell are you posting on a parenting site?

+1. Shouldn't you be off living your high standard of living lifestyle and not worrying about what us lowly breeders are doing.

I have plenty of time to do both.

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Anonymous wrote:I could never lower my standard of living like that just to have kids.

Then why the hell are you posting on a parenting site?

+1. Shouldn't you be off living your high standard of living lifestyle and not worrying about what us lowly breeders are doing.

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Anonymous wrote:This is why the average age of first time moms in DC is 38. Lots of women spend a decade working on their careers, paying off all debts, building lots of equity in homes, and THEN having children.

That is sad

Nope. Sad is being 45, an empty nester and having no employable skills.

Where I'm from most woman don't work. They have children very young and are usually done having kids by 25. By 35 they are usually taking care of grandkids if their daughters stay in school after getting pregnant at age 15.

Where is that?

Mid west

Just confirming, that yes, this is the norm in the Midwest.

Not where I grew up. Friends who stayed had children slightly younger than when I did (late 20s/early 30s v mid 30s for me). Most have 3 kids instead of 2 since they had more time to do it and it is cheaper to raise kids there. But no one is a grandparent at 45.

I'm from Ohio. I worked with a lady that became a GM at 38.
My husbands cousin became one at 37.
I went to an urban public school and I have 40yr old peers that are grandparents.

Anonymous wrote:I could never lower my standard of living like that just to have kids.

Then why the hell are you posting on a parenting site?

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Anonymous wrote:This is why the average age of first time moms in DC is 38. Lots of women spend a decade working on their careers, paying off all debts, building lots of equity in homes, and THEN having children.

That is sad

Nope. Sad is being 45, an empty nester and having no employable skills.

Where I'm from most woman don't work. They have children very young and are usually done having kids by 25. By 35 they are usually taking care of grandkids if their daughters stay in school after getting pregnant at age 15.

Where is that?

Mid west

Just confirming, that yes, this is the norm in the Midwest.

Not where I grew up. Friends who stayed had children slightly younger than when I did (late 20s/early 30s v mid 30s for me). Most have 3 kids instead of 2 since they had more time to do it and it is cheaper to raise kids there. But no one is a grandparent at 45.

I could never lower my standard of living like that just to have kids.

Ahh, never say never. I used to think I'd never have kids, never own a minivan, etc. etc. But I have them, and I drive a minivan now. And we are blissfully happy.

Anonymous wrote:I could never lower my standard of living like that just to have kids.

Most people would not consider this a "lower" standard of living. Your priorities may be different, but some people just don't care about maid service, fancy restaurants, or luxury cars.

I could never lower my standard of living like that just to have kids.

Things you could do if you needed to:

--sell your housing and move into a cheaper house and/or refinance
--sell your car(s) and buy cheaper used ones
--cut back on travel, eating out, new clothes (some of this will occur naturally when you have a child)
--get rid of maid service, any other unneeded services and do it yourself
--join Costco or Sam's Club to cut back on grocery expenses
--buy used furniture instead of new stuff
--pay the minimum on your student loans as long as you can

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Anonymous wrote:This is why the average age of first time moms in DC is 38. Lots of women spend a decade working on their careers, paying off all debts, building lots of equity in homes, and THEN having children.

That is sad

Nope. Sad is being 45, an empty nester and having no employable skills.

Where I'm from most woman don't work. They have children very young and are usually done having kids by 25. By 35 they are usually taking care of grandkids if their daughters stay in school after getting pregnant at age 15.

Where is that?

Mid west

Just confirming, that yes, this is the norm in the Midwest.