Anonymous wrote:getting married is a big deal and the best way to build wealth

For women, it is.

Anonymous wrote:Help!

Seriously, I'm in a group of 12 women - doctors, pharmacists, lawyers, etc. and we can't find any men! We get hit on by married men all the time. Where do we find good men?

To OP - either seriously shake up your routine and try completely new ways to meet men or simply move. Sounds drastic but getting married is a big deal and the best way to build wealth and have children. I was living in a city where dating wasn't working for me. I found all the women to be gorgeous and the men to be duds. By duds I mean very few of my dates were interested in travel, read the news (besides cnn), liked ethnic foods, etc. I never went on dates with anyone I could see myself with. My parents thought I was being nuts but I moved to a better city for dating and immediately met my husband. DC is notorious for lots of single women and why fight an uphill battle you may not be able to win?

Also women really do need to get over a few things. I've noticedy few remaining single friends have a few things in common. They seem to chase status or money, get easily impressed with a man because of his career or family, and lack the ability to simply be nice and get to know a man as a friend. Don't even get me started on my SIL. Besides the fact she's a raging bitch, she won't date men who aren't highly educated (Ivy League), money or family money, good looking, great job, etc. Shocking that she's single, right? Especially since she's not that attractive and is mean. She's the type that will turn her nose down at a less attractive guy who talks to her and act like the sweetest nicest girl to the banker chatting her up. Thankfully, most men can see right through this. If you can't tell, I really don't like her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Maybe if you quit bragging about being so successful in your profession, you'd find a guy. A total asshole could be a doctor and a gem could be a mechanic, but would you even give him the time of day knowing he doesn't fit your bizarre standard of success?


The first question most of these successful hot women ask in a bar is how much $ we make. Total buyers market for men. All we want is someone who seems fun and low maintenance.


I have never not once asked a man how much they made before we were ...hell married. I'm 40.


I actually can't even believe that's true. I didn't even ask my husband until we started discussing me SAH with our first and what our savings would look like if I did. I used to hang out with a super high-maintenance, materialistic Russian princess type and even SHE never asked that. What kind of car, yes. What do you do, yes. So kind of the same thing, but sliiiiiightly less blunt.

They may not ask you how much you make, but they will ask you what you do and what school/s you went to within a few minutes..and it's not just innocent small talk. Say you do x and went to x school...you will be fighting off the women. Had a friend who use to do this all the time when he came to town.

You might be reading into their questions. I am a married woman and not trying to meet men. When I meet men through my husband I often ask where they went to college or what they do. I think those are fairly normal questions and I'm just trying to show interest. I think it would be a bit strange to right off the bat ask random questions like do you have a pet, what is your favorite food. Asking where someone is from or what they do are both normal questions. Doesn't necessarily mean the person is throng to determine your net worth.

All you ladies with the criteria for high education, high earning, great looks, etc. how round you find someone like Richard Linklater if he were single? He is successful in his career, but is only a community college grad. I guess he gives the lie to the need for an Ivy degree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the answer begins and ends with SPORTS. Whichever you one you want. Bars are the WORST place to try to find boyfriends/husbands. I'm not saying it never happens, but no one I know is married to someone they met at a bar. Possible exception: pub trivia.

Sports! Take a lesson! Join a team! Join a meet up! Join a training group! It will happen.

I actually do know a couple of awesome single guys in their 30s (as well as some not-so-awesome ones). The awesome ones are shy before you know them and aren't great at creating opportunities to hit on you. They're not online dating, and they're definitely not at bars trying to picking up chicks. They need to gain a comfort level first and you can get that by paying SPORTS with them. Then they'll ask you out.

If it's only successful single alpha males you're after (understandable, but problematic), then you're out of luck because those guys are a. already happily married since their mid- to late 20s, b. married and only looking to cheat with you, c. divorced and busy with work and kids, or d. jerks. Good luck!

Seriously. I'm an female in your age group (who is also happily married). I recently took up a sport - on a pretty serious level- an I'm amazed at how many great single men and women (but mostly men) I've met in my classes, at practice, etc. And because we are all adults learning a sport that most learn when they are kids there is this awesome sense of camaraderie. I've been telling all of the single ladies I work with (all in late 30s and 40's) to fins their passion, sign up for a class and get out there. Plus, you'll get in shape and you will exude confidence and happiness, something is think men love.

that sounds great...so what is the sport?

Softball, tennis, and hashers come to mind first. Also kickball, soccer, triathlon training with a meet up group, or biking doing the same. Pick the ones you like!

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for all the trolls, but there is a grain of truth in their replies. Women in DC (or the Northeast Megalopolis in general) tend to be of the ambitious variety. Scouring online dating profiles I am convinced that I am the only person in the DC area that 1) Is not a lawyer, 2) Hasn't visited Machu Pichu, and 3) Doesn't go on weekend trips to care for orphans in Nepal. None of these things are negative, and thy're not necessarily a turnoff either, however they are also not the sorts of things that would appeal to me as a man. I'm 37 years old, and by this point in life I think we all have some baggage. As for myself, I am a well educated business owner who is financially secure, but I am also a widowed father to a four year old. When a woman approaches me and tells me about what she does and where she's been, it all sounds fine, except that what I really want to know is whether she's a kind person who likes kids. If you want to find a good man then be up front about what you want in life. If you want a relationship then tell him that's what you're looking for. Be up front, and don't be afraid to be the one to suggest a date. Life is far too short to let opportunities pass you by.

Wanting a kind woman who likes kids is kinda easy, no? They are a dime a dozen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:they went to Duke and will only consider dating a guy who went to Duke or a school equal or greater in standing(I have no clue how they rank the schools, but they do!)...it's very subjective and they are single. As they approach 40, they are changing, but they are now in a different arena.

I laughed. Puke isn't even a second-tier Ivy wannabe.

Better than Muhlenberg.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that a lot of DC women require that a man have a college degree from a good school or they will not consider him.

You almost never hear men with this requirement, even those who want LTRs.

Remember, a youngish man with a degree from a good school, who is six feet tall, who is in good shape, who is funny and a has decent personality represents maybe 1-2% of men in this country, and he has a lot of options. Do honestly feel that you are in the top 1-2% of women (from a man's perspective)?

There's a lot of truth on this thread, but I call b.s. on this one. I have NEVER heard of this, and I'm a 38 y.o. woman who's lived here for 15 years, with lots of female friends both married and not. This poster sounds like someone who's sensitive about where he did or did not to college and is projecting.

I don't know. A lot of women with degrees seem to feel like they would be "settling" if they married a man without one.

I agree. I wouldn't have considered a man without a graduate degree. Lucky it worked out for me.

Why?

Because it's a symbol of drive and determination, and someone who really values higher education. Status symbol also. Plus I wouldn't want to worry any man without one would develop an inferiority complex since I have one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you all suck in the sack (and, by that, I mean you don't suck). No accomplished man I know wants a woman who slacks in bed but thinks she's the shit because she's successful.

Are there REALLY women out there who won't give blowjobs to their partners? If you have a religious restriction OK but otherwise....my DH is apparently a lucky man.

Me! Ten years ago I asked my H why he never gave me oral. He said it's because when we first started having sex, I didn't express an interest in it. Since he's never done it with me, he's not going to start now. That was such a shocking and non-loving answer that I never blew him again.

Oh yeah, my lover is amazing at oral

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the answer begins and ends with SPORTS. Whichever you one you want. Bars are the WORST place to try to find boyfriends/husbands. I'm not saying it never happens, but no one I know is married to someone they met at a bar. Possible exception: pub trivia.

Sports! Take a lesson! Join a team! Join a meet up! Join a training group! It will happen.

I actually do know a couple of awesome single guys in their 30s (as well as some not-so-awesome ones). The awesome ones are shy before you know them and aren't great at creating opportunities to hit on you. They're not online dating, and they're definitely not at bars trying to picking up chicks. They need to gain a comfort level first and you can get that by paying SPORTS with them. Then they'll ask you out.

If it's only successful single alpha males you're after (understandable, but problematic), then you're out of luck because those guys are a. already happily married since their mid- to late 20s, b. married and only looking to cheat with you, c. divorced and busy with work and kids, or d. jerks. Good luck!

Seriously. I'm an female in your age group (who is also happily married). I recently took up a sport - on a pretty serious level- an I'm amazed at how many great single men and women (but mostly men) I've met in my classes, at practice, etc. And because we are all adults learning a sport that most learn when they are kids there is this awesome sense of camaraderie. I've been telling all of the single ladies I work with (all in late 30s and 40's) to fins their passion, sign up for a class and get out there. Plus, you'll get in shape and you will exude confidence and happiness, something is think men love.

that sounds great...so what is the sport?

Anonymous wrote:OP, the answer begins and ends with SPORTS. Whichever you one you want. Bars are the WORST place to try to find boyfriends/husbands. I'm not saying it never happens, but no one I know is married to someone they met at a bar. Possible exception: pub trivia.

Sports! Take a lesson! Join a team! Join a meet up! Join a training group! It will happen.

I actually do know a couple of awesome single guys in their 30s (as well as some not-so-awesome ones). The awesome ones are shy before you know them and aren't great at creating opportunities to hit on you. They're not online dating, and they're definitely not at bars trying to picking up chicks. They need to gain a comfort level first and you can get that by paying SPORTS with them. Then they'll ask you out.

If it's only successful single alpha males you're after (understandable, but problematic), then you're out of luck because those guys are a. already happily married since their mid- to late 20s, b. married and only looking to cheat with you, c. divorced and busy with work and kids, or d. jerks. Good luck!

Seriously. I'm an female in your age group (who is also happily married). I recently took up a sport - on a pretty serious level- an I'm amazed at how many great single men and women (but mostly men) I've met in my classes, at practice, etc. And because we are all adults learning a sport that most learn when they are kids there is this awesome sense of camaraderie. I've been telling all of the single ladies I work with (all in late 30s and 40's) to fins their passion, sign up for a class and get out there. Plus, you'll get in shape and you will exude confidence and happiness, something is think men love.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for all the trolls, but there is a grain of truth in their replies. Women in DC (or the Northeast Megalopolis in general) tend to be of the ambitious variety. Scouring online dating profiles I am convinced that I am the only person in the DC area that 1) Is not a lawyer, 2) Hasn't visited Machu Pichu, and 3) Doesn't go on weekend trips to care for orphans in Nepal. None of these things are negative, and thy're not necessarily a turnoff either, however they are also not the sorts of things that would appeal to me as a man. I'm 37 years old, and by this point in life I think we all have some baggage. As for myself, I am a well educated business owner who is financially secure, but I am also a widowed father to a four year old. When a woman approaches me and tells me about what she does and where she's been, it all sounds fine, except that what I really want to know is whether she's a kind person who likes kids. If you want to find a good man then be up front about what you want in life. If you want a relationship then tell him that's what you're looking for. Be up front, and don't be afraid to be the one to suggest a date. Life is far too short to let opportunities pass you by.

You forgot about the ones digging wells in Peru and planning an adventure vacation in the Mekong Delta.

Hey, at least they won't bore you to tears and you'll have an adventurous life?

so true about women's dating profiles - they try so hard to be unique by doing this stuff and it all makes them the same as every other profile and not memorable.

those kinds of things aren't really adventerous - it is a well-beaten path that women (or people) in their 20's with some financial means (either via yourself, parents, or stipend) can do.

you make it sound like they're climbing everest or kanchenjunga or doing bear grylls type shit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that a lot of DC women require that a man have a college degree from a good school or they will not consider him.

You almost never hear men with this requirement, even those who want LTRs.

Remember, a youngish man with a degree from a good school, who is six feet tall, who is in good shape, who is funny and a has decent personality represents maybe 1-2% of men in this country, and he has a lot of options. Do honestly feel that you are in the top 1-2% of women (from a man's perspective)?

Wow, really? My husband is about 5'10" but otherwise met all those criteria when we first met, and I'm certainly not in the top 1 or 2% of women in this contry. Maybe I married up?

finding a 5'10 (average height of white male) guy with those attributes is probably 2x easier (due to supply) compared to those attributes at 6' if you go by height distribution in this country.

i don't know anything about you but most women try to marry up, hence hypergamy.

You're not that beautiful, inside or out.

Anonymous wrote:It's well known that there is a low ratio of eligible women to men in DC, especially if you're AA.
OP, are you a black woman.
Either you need to find a husband before you're 27 or you need to wait for them to start divorcing.

OP, are you an AA woman? I am wondering this too. Even if you are not, are you open to dating men from another race? It will certainly increase your odds if you did.