Anonymous
06/20/2013 15:31
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
Did the volunteer mom actually SEE the behaviour...or just took her kid's word for it...those are 2 different situations
Anonymous
06/20/2013 15:28
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
I do not know if OP's DD was being mean.
However, I do know that children's accounts of behaviour is not always correct...it usually includes a lot of characterization and not a lot of recounting of facts.
Which is why you ask the PARENT if they talked to their child...what happened...get ALL the facts out then judge what happened.
Example:
Bertha's characterization: Larla was mean to mean, she would not play with me and played with Lena and Greta instead and left me out
What actually happened:
Larla and Greta were playing something...and did not want to play what Bertha wanted to ...so they go on with what they were already doing....
I have seen it time and again...
3 sides to every story:
her side, her side, and the truth
However, I do know that children's accounts of behaviour is not always correct...it usually includes a lot of characterization and not a lot of recounting of facts.
Which is why you ask the PARENT if they talked to their child...what happened...get ALL the facts out then judge what happened.
Example:
Bertha's characterization: Larla was mean to mean, she would not play with me and played with Lena and Greta instead and left me out
What actually happened:
Larla and Greta were playing something...and did not want to play what Bertha wanted to ...so they go on with what they were already doing....
I have seen it time and again...
3 sides to every story:
her side, her side, and the truth
Anonymous
06/20/2013 12:55
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe the OP should volunteer more.
Why--so she can fight HER daughter's battles?
I've volunteered often, and the few times it appeared there was something going on between my DD and someone else, I had the teacher handle it. I knew I was too close to the situation to be objective (and the other kids would be watching me like a hawk).
No, so that some other mom who doesn't volunteer can b-tch slap her on an anonymous discussion board for "going off" on her snowflake
Anonymous
06/20/2013 11:22
Subject: Re:DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I volunteer at my DDs' school regularly. I have indeed called a number of kids out, a number of times, for a number of inappropriate behaviors. I don't recall any of the times relating specifically to my kids, but more a general behavior problem or towards another child. (But, if the misbehavior was directed to my child, I would do the same as I would for any child in my care.)
Unless the volunteer was regularly "picking on" my child-- I would just be grateful that the school has parents willing to volunteer.
I had a situation this past year where a coach went off completely on my 10 year old daughter. (She was wrong, but he way over-reacted to her infraction.) I got EXTREMELY angry-- at her!!! I reminded her this person was volunteering for HER benefit and she better repair the relationship ASAP. I told her I would go with her when she apologized (or not-- her choice). It was actually one of my proudest parenting moments ever. By the end of the season, the coach was praising my daughter's leadership skills etc. Needless-to-say, my daughter was brimming with pride, true self-confidence etc. This is why my kids will be head-and-shoulders over the whiners/helicopter/apologist parents like OP.
+10000 We need more reasonable parents like you. None of our kids are complete angels and they need to learn there are consequences for their behaviors. This will only benefit them as they grow into adults.
Agreed!
I also find it bizarre that parents get defensive and confrontational when someone telsl them that their kid was behaving inappropriately. They should thank the person who brings the complaint to them because they have done a favor to you and your child. Children need direction and guidance and learn how to be good citizens, and parents need to correct them when they are on the wrong path. When someone complains about your child, be calm and try and resolve the issue. Use that incident as a learning experience and intervene with your kids if needed. Even is your kid was in the right - it is a learning experience - it teaches them how to deal with difficult people, public perception as well as how to be emphatic.
Anonymous
06/19/2013 12:17
Subject: Re:DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
Anonymous wrote:I volunteer at my DDs' school regularly. I have indeed called a number of kids out, a number of times, for a number of inappropriate behaviors. I don't recall any of the times relating specifically to my kids, but more a general behavior problem or towards another child. (But, if the misbehavior was directed to my child, I would do the same as I would for any child in my care.)
Unless the volunteer was regularly "picking on" my child-- I would just be grateful that the school has parents willing to volunteer.
I had a situation this past year where a coach went off completely on my 10 year old daughter. (She was wrong, but he way over-reacted to her infraction.) I got EXTREMELY angry-- at her!!! I reminded her this person was volunteering for HER benefit and she better repair the relationship ASAP. I told her I would go with her when she apologized (or not-- her choice). It was actually one of my proudest parenting moments ever. By the end of the season, the coach was praising my daughter's leadership skills etc. Needless-to-say, my daughter was brimming with pride, true self-confidence etc. This is why my kids will be head-and-shoulders over the whiners/helicopter/apologist parents like OP.
+10000 We need more reasonable parents like you. None of our kids are complete angels and they need to learn there are consequences for their behaviors. This will only benefit them as they grow into adults.
Anonymous
06/18/2013 23:40
Subject: Re:DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
I volunteer at my DDs' school regularly. I have indeed called a number of kids out, a number of times, for a number of inappropriate behaviors. I don't recall any of the times relating specifically to my kids, but more a general behavior problem or towards another child. (But, if the misbehavior was directed to my child, I would do the same as I would for any child in my care.)
Unless the volunteer was regularly "picking on" my child-- I would just be grateful that the school has parents willing to volunteer.
I had a situation this past year where a coach went off completely on my 10 year old daughter. (She was wrong, but he way over-reacted to her infraction.) I got EXTREMELY angry-- at her!!! I reminded her this person was volunteering for HER benefit and she better repair the relationship ASAP. I told her I would go with her when she apologized (or not-- her choice). It was actually one of my proudest parenting moments ever. By the end of the season, the coach was praising my daughter's leadership skills etc. Needless-to-say, my daughter was brimming with pride, true self-confidence etc. This is why my kids will be head-and-shoulders over the whiners/helicopter/apologist parents like OP.
Unless the volunteer was regularly "picking on" my child-- I would just be grateful that the school has parents willing to volunteer.
I had a situation this past year where a coach went off completely on my 10 year old daughter. (She was wrong, but he way over-reacted to her infraction.) I got EXTREMELY angry-- at her!!! I reminded her this person was volunteering for HER benefit and she better repair the relationship ASAP. I told her I would go with her when she apologized (or not-- her choice). It was actually one of my proudest parenting moments ever. By the end of the season, the coach was praising my daughter's leadership skills etc. Needless-to-say, my daughter was brimming with pride, true self-confidence etc. This is why my kids will be head-and-shoulders over the whiners/helicopter/apologist parents like OP.
Anonymous
06/18/2013 22:19
Subject: Re:DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
"Wow, you guys are mean. If an adult approached anyone of your kids you guys would go off your rocker. OP has a legitimate gripe. The mom has no business tell OPs daughter anything. She should have called OP up or talked to a teacher. I am a teacher too and this would not happen at my school. It's ridiculous how everyone is attacking OP. "
Honestly, I wouldn't be upset at all if a mom corrected my child. The only thing I wouldn't like is if someone decided my child was "mean" because of one thing they did or said. If they just corrected the behavior and then acted with others like they never saw it, I'd be fine. What I don't like is when a child gets labeled and gossiped about as a trouble maker. It's especially sad when this happens to very young elementary age kids. But no, I'd be happy if an adult corrected my child in a kind but firm way.
Honestly, I wouldn't be upset at all if a mom corrected my child. The only thing I wouldn't like is if someone decided my child was "mean" because of one thing they did or said. If they just corrected the behavior and then acted with others like they never saw it, I'd be fine. What I don't like is when a child gets labeled and gossiped about as a trouble maker. It's especially sad when this happens to very young elementary age kids. But no, I'd be happy if an adult corrected my child in a kind but firm way.
Anonymous
06/18/2013 22:02
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
I have a feeling that if the tables were turned you would have done the same thing to defend your own daughter. But you can only see things from your own perspective right now.
Anonymous
06/18/2013 21:55
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
Sorry OP, you are one of those moms who just cannot possibly believe her DD can do any wrong. Your DD knows it and it is extremely easy for her to lie to you. It is almost cliché. If your daughter does mean things, she is going to face the consequences no matter how much you try to deny her behavior, now and down the road.
Anonymous
06/18/2013 10:01
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
Anonymous wrote:Maybe the OP should volunteer more.
Why--so she can fight HER daughter's battles?
I've volunteered often, and the few times it appeared there was something going on between my DD and someone else, I had the teacher handle it. I knew I was too close to the situation to be objective (and the other kids would be watching me like a hawk).
Anonymous
06/18/2013 08:33
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
Maybe the OP should volunteer more.
Anonymous
06/18/2013 07:42
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
If I am volunteering and see a girl be mean to my daughter in front of me I would say something too.
Recess Volunteer means you eliminate BAD behavior and make sure no one gets hurt physically and should be emotionally too....why else do you have volunteers?
Recess Volunteer means you eliminate BAD behavior and make sure no one gets hurt physically and should be emotionally too....why else do you have volunteers?
Anonymous
06/18/2013 07:27
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
Anonymous wrote:OK, now some of you are scaring me...apparently, if you as a parent decide another child is mean, you can use a school volunteer position to settle your child's personal scores with said mean girl.
Doesn't sound like she was trying to settle score just said be nice to her kid. Is that really that controversial?
Anonymous
06/17/2013 21:47
Subject: Re:DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
I actually had a friend's mother confront me, in the cafeteria, in front of the whole school, for not wanting to jump rope with her daughter the day before. I was in 3rd or 4th grade. I still remember the shame and embarrassment even now. I'd fight for my kid OP! She is an adult and shouldn't take advantage of her power over kids.
Anonymous
06/17/2013 21:38
Subject: DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!
OK, now some of you are scaring me...apparently, if you as a parent decide another child is mean, you can use a school volunteer position to settle your child's personal scores with said mean girl.