I agree with pp who thought it was a copy of Up in the Air.

Why are you so sure you will not get caught? As someone who was cheated on I can tell you that I knew in my gut something was wrong, without any proof. It is a crazy feeling, knowing something is wrong and trying to convince yourself you are making it up. How do you rectify potentially causing your husband to feel this way? your kids to feel this way?

So your father who was a good man had an affair, and you now have no relationship with him??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you think your children will react if/when they learn about your cheating on their mother?

Did I say I was the husband?

They will react hwo they want. I can't control their emotions.

Not the PP but, when they find out (because they will) what do you expect from them?

I'm the daughter of a cheating parent and I was very very surprised with my parent's expectations... Just wondering about you.

how will they find out?

Are you afraid that the kids will find out?

I found out when I was 9 and I overheard my parents arguing. My mother had her suspicions, confronted my dad. Despite the denials from my dad, the truth eventually came out. My parents are divorced, and my sister and I have no relationship with my father, who was otherwise "a good man"--as they say.

Just saying, if your kids are at all bright, they will find out. Most parents who love their children don't want to see them hurt, but I'm not sure you care enough, truth be told. You sound quite blase about the impact of your affair on your children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you give your spouse a chance to try to fulfill your needs? Have you lied to your spouse (not omitted the truth but flat-out lied)? How long were you together before you started cheating? What do you think your spouse woud do if he/she found out (assuming proof and you weren't able to deny)? Is your spouse happy with the marriage? Is there anything your spouse could have done differently to have you be faithful?

Yes, my spouse fulfill the needs and those of his role. I have not said I am going to xyz and actually go to see lover. Together a few years before I started cheating. I would deny it, with any proof provided I would deny it. Yes spouse is happy and so am I. I don't think so, I think this is my vice, like a drug user, drinker, hoarder etc

I just felt the need to point out that you slipped up on page 9 of this thread. So the big reveal to me was pretty pointless...

Anonymous wrote:

YHL wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can one of the other posters having an affair weigh and say why? Basically the OP is giving no information - just sparse yes/no responses and refuses to give any insight on why she is doing it or the real experience of it. This is why this thread is not great. I think it's obvious because other posters are weighing in to try and fill it out with their experiences. Can another poster having an affair either start their own thread or just take up this thread. The OP is boring and doing herself a disservice. I think is probably a troll.

I'm having an affair because something was missing. I begged for years for my soon to be ex husband to give me time and intimacy. Not just sex. For years my sex life consisted of him doing his thing on top of me,rolling over and going to sleep. I tried lingerie, costumes,games. He would rather be on his playstation all day. I just got tired of begging for affection. Now I don't have to.
That's the funny thing about affairs. Now that I pay no attention to him, he wants to spend time with me.

That's interesting and seems unfortunately a big part of why affairs seem to happen. Do you have kids at home? Can you say a bit more about the change in the dynamic of your home?

I don't have any children. A lot has happened since I started my affair. I no longer take his crap, or his insults. I no longer feel stuck.
I start fights on purpose so I can get away. Anytime he makes me mad I tell him I'm sleeping elsewhere because he has made me so angry.
He's always trying to smooth things over now. Where as before when we would fight I would do the begging and the pleading. He's scream at me literally 5 inches from my face, and I would just cry. Last time he yelled at me, I told him if he ever laid a finger on me again I'd kill him in his sleep.

YHL wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can one of the other posters having an affair weigh and say why? Basically the OP is giving no information - just sparse yes/no responses and refuses to give any insight on why she is doing it or the real experience of it. This is why this thread is not great. I think it's obvious because other posters are weighing in to try and fill it out with their experiences. Can another poster having an affair either start their own thread or just take up this thread. The OP is boring and doing herself a disservice. I think is probably a troll.

I'm having an affair because something was missing. I begged for years for my soon to be ex husband to give me time and intimacy. Not just sex. For years my sex life consisted of him doing his thing on top of me,rolling over and going to sleep. I tried lingerie, costumes,games. He would rather be on his playstation all day. I just got tired of begging for affection. Now I don't have to.
That's the funny thing about affairs. Now that I pay no attention to him, he wants to spend time with me.

That's interesting and seems unfortunately a big part of why affairs seem to happen. Do you have kids at home? Can you say a bit more about the change in the dynamic of your home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt OP is in sales... She's such a terrible communicator!!!!

I guess that's why DH won't fulfill her. She can barely express herself.

why? because I type fast answers and you don't apporve of what i do?

No, it's because you keep making typographical errors and you seem to be making it up on the spot, changing your story.

You're like a phony craigslist ad: no details, repetitive and withholding of key information. You're clearly desperate for attention. Every single other poster on this thread who claims to be cheating seems less suspect. If you were a real poster and someone had asked why, you probably would have answered "I'm not monogamous by nature but DH shut that down when we were dating. I travel a lot and the lover also does so we are unlikely to be caught. It's just a part of me I need to fulfill and which DH can't fulfil." and then gone from there. People would have probably more probing and intelligent questions because you'd have been giving more probing and intelligent answers. Instead it's like playing weird famous celebrities 20 questions game. "Is it a man or woman"? Black or white? Old or young? TV or movies?

I don't know, the story isn't creative at all. Spouse is unfulfilled at home, wants excitement, cheats on business trips, isn't someone you'd think would be cheating, is positive no one will ever find out and isnt thinking about repercussions at all - pretty much standard cheating fare.

Anonymous wrote:OK here is the big revel

I am in sales, so is lover-we both travel a good bit-day trips, maybe an overnight -we do not work for the same company but we cover the same territory
We keep the finances off the books by getting a few extra here and there when getting cash back, using miles to get gift cards for hotels if we need it
I am your neighbor
The one who seems ot have it all together-the one you say would never do this
the kids well adjusted-i hope
the one who is in shape that seems to not work hard at it-eat and drink what i want
I have the latest fashions
my spouse is very attractive
i am as well

I am a
l
l
\/






female

This all sounds suspiciously like that movie, "Up In The Air." I call BS. I think OP is a creative writer rather than an actual cheating spuse. If fact, I doubt she is even a spuse, much less a spouse, though perhaps a souse.

you're still not answering the questions. Easier not to think about the answers huh?

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a clue as to why OP thinks her gender is such a big deal?

everyone kept asking me, so why not make it a big reveal as a pp suggested

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you think your children will react if/when they learn about your cheating on their mother?

Did I say I was the husband?

They will react hwo they want. I can't control their emotions.

Not the PP but, when they find out (because they will) what do you expect from them?

I'm the daughter of a cheating parent and I was very very surprised with my parent's expectations... Just wondering about you.

how will they find out?

Does anyone have a clue as to why OP thinks her gender is such a big deal?

Anonymous wrote:I doubt OP is in sales... She's such a terrible communicator!!!!

I guess that's why DH won't fulfill her. She can barely express herself.

why? because I type fast answers and you don't apporve of what i do?