It's really unfortunate that some of you here are upset at OP and think she's a bigot. Are we no longer allowed to have different perspectives? Since when did not agreeing with something equal hatred and bigotry. These terms are tossed around so much that they have become watered down and useless.

OP here. I started this thread because I wanted to get a feel for how common/uncommon my thoughts and feelings are about gay marriage. I have learned a lot, but unfortunately, I have hurt deeply. I did anticipate a strong reaction, but I truly never intended to hurt anyone. I understand now that some of the things I said did just that. I am very sorry for causing you anger and hurt. I really hope that will know that I am sincere and that you will forgive me. FWIW, I am a man. I am not perfect, but far from being a monster. As I said, I have learned a lot from your posts -- enough to make me reconsider my views about LBGT rights/issues. I cannot say that I am for gay marriage tonight, but I can say that I have a clearer understanding and greater respect for the cause. I have a ways to go, but I do believe I am heading in the right direction, now. I consider this to be progress that you have helped me achieve. Thank you.

Finally, I do believe, as a society, that we will have to have these kinds of open and candid discussions in order to move forward. I clearly went about this the wrong way, but I think discussions along these lines have some value. I noticed how the discussion of race was soon interwoven into the exchange, and I believe the American Civil Rights Movement and LBGT causes are relative in many ways. For me, the most persuasive posts in this thread were from those who did not attack me personally, but scorched my way of thinking with graceful, intelligent words of reason. I also found that they often ended their posts with words of hope. This kind of discourse moves me. Thank you for the light you brought to this. I will conclude my posting to this thread with a quote from Dr. King that reminds me of what I have learned from you today, "We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly…" Peace.

This thread is so depressing.

There has been a lot of hateful and ignorant rhetoric in this thread. I really just want to say that I empathize with the homosexual/transgendered/bisexual/etc. people who are the target of this hate.

I am really happy that my state (MD) is now home to marriage equality. I also think that many married/LTR gay couples overcome more (ie bigotry) than many heterosexual couples, and are therefore exceptionally well suited to be strong, courageous, and kind role models for their children. I also think it is a wonderful benefit to our society that many gay couples choose to adopt kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The rational legal basis for denying the right to marry another species is there's no consent. A cat can't say "I do." That one's easy.

The rational legal basis for denying polygamy rights is the legal mess it creates. What if four people marry and then one of them wants a divorce? Who are the parents if kids are produced? Who gets the benefits if one of the people dies? It would require an entirely new set of laws to be written, and would take years. It's not as simple as just changing man/woman to person1/person2 on a form. However, in theory it could be done.

I'm actually not sure if there's a rational legal basis for denying the right to marry your sister.

Went to get a marriage license in MD last year. A question asked, "is this person related to you", I was tempted to check yes. Would I have been denied?

Yes you would have been denied. I think I learned somewhere that the reasoning for denying siblings and first cousin marriage was due to any offsprings as a result of marriage. A higher propensity for birth defects.

I feel so bad for her kids. I knew a kid growing up whose mother was just like this and taught her children to think being gay was wrong and bad. Guess what? Her daughter ended up being gay. Only a few of us knew (although many suspected I'm sure) she hated herself because of what her mom taught her and felt incredibly alone and scared. Sure, some of it was society not being as accepting (I'm 25 so we are talking when the gay rights movement was going on) but I know most of it was from her mom. The only reason I know is because they found her journal shortly after they found her dead from a mix of alcohol and pain killers. I hope that mom is plagued with the most awful guilt for the rest of her life and that she rots in hell. I'm sorry for typos, op's bigotry and hate that she is passing onto her kids infuriates me. You are a disgusting person op, and I hope your kids and "best friend" realize this soon .

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I read the first couple of posts and jumped to the end and clearly a whole lot of nasty stuff has been posted since the beginning.

OP, I was going to say that if nothing else I am happy that you feel you have to keep your mouth shut in public - that at least is progress. I do think it is a step forward when the bigots feel like that they have to mind their own business.

But now I think we should take it further. You should sentence yourself to "Don't ask. Don't tell." Don't tell anyone you're a bigot. You don't have to pretend you're not a bigot in public but you shouldn't ever say or do anything that will let anyone guess you are a bigot. You shouldn't hang out with other bigots in public. You should carefully examine your life and remove from it any of the slightest indications that you are a bigot. You should be sentenced to silence for the rest of your life. See how it feels.

I think everyone should know what a two-faced piece of crap OP is. I think she should wear a t-shirt that says "I HATE GAYS" and should have to deal with the consequences. Maybe that would cure her of her problem.

That includes not taking actions that communicate (and pass along) your bigotry to your kids.

If you want people to think you believe gay people are ok, then don't try to "protect" your kids from them. Trust me, the book about the two princes won't make your kids gay.

Wow, I read the first couple of posts and jumped to the end and clearly a whole lot of nasty stuff has been posted since the beginning.

OP, I was going to say that if nothing else I am happy that you feel you have to keep your mouth shut in public - that at least is progress. I do think it is a step forward when the bigots feel like that they have to mind their own business.

But now I think we should take it further. You should sentence yourself to "Don't ask. Don't tell." Don't tell anyone you're a bigot. You don't have to pretend you're not a bigot in public but you shouldn't ever say or do anything that will let anyone guess you are a bigot. You shouldn't hang out with other bigots in public. You should carefully examine your life and remove from it any of the slightest indications that you are a bigot. You should be sentenced to silence for the rest of your life. See how it feels.

Anonymous wrote:If OP's "perspective" were anti-anything-but-gay you would not be rushing to defend her.

The only optimistic thought I can take away from this digusting 12 pages of hate is what someone else said on a related thread: anti-black prejudice reached its zenith during the height of the U.S. Civil Rights movement and the end of apartheid.

I can only hope this hateful spew is a sign that we're headed in the right direction.

No, that would be during the Nadir of US race relations. Not downplaying the awfulness of anti-black hatred during the US CRM, but the true lowest point came earlier.

If OP's "perspective" were anti-anything-but-gay you would not be rushing to defend her.

The only optimistic thought I can take away from this digusting 12 pages of hate is what someone else said on a related thread: anti-black prejudice reached its zenith during the height of the U.S. Civil Rights movement and the end of apartheid.

I can only hope this hateful spew is a sign that we're headed in the right direction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP, come out of the "closet." Especially with your "friend." I can sort of, slightly, maybe just a little respect someone who can own their opinions and not be a dirtbag undercover. But you really are the lowest of the low.

OP here. Wow. I've hurt you and I did not mean to. I'm sorry for this.

You disingenuous bitch.

Yep, OP is the lowest of the low. I would rather deal with that horrible bigot who thinks she has the gay son than OP because at least I would know where I stand. This thread and the various racist threads are making me feel extremely bitter today

You are bitter because OP has a perspective that differs from your own? Just curious.

Bigotry is not an "opinion." It is hateful and it disgusts me. Yes, I am feeling bitter from reading the sick private thoughts of so many people.

I've only gotten 5 pages into this thread, and it's breaking my heart for our children. I'm hetero and I can't even say to my 8yo-and under kids things that assume they will be hetero, in the event they are not. I never tease my boy about a girlfriend. If we talk about marriage we don't specify what sex. I love them so much that I don't want to ever give them reason to think that I would love them less for something I believe is not their choice. We have gay family members on both sides, so I do want them to be accepting of all people and to respect other people's choices. And, I wouldn't freak out about a pre-school book about two men loving each other. I've talked to them about identity, that some people may be born a boy but feel like a girl inside (and vice versa) and you never know what's in someone's heart.

I can barely type this. This thread is so very sad. I think only scared people say that certain groups have an "agenda." OP, your post makes me wonder if we'll break this cycle of unacceptance and cleverly-veiled contempt.

Her snide and BS "sorry I hurt you" and "who, me? (smh)" crap is so shitty. She literally goes down as one of my most hated OPs ever on this board. But that's just my opinion of course.

Anonymous wrote:How can you think your words wouldn't hurt?

I have been sad and livid all morning realizing that a good chunk of this community secretly thinks my marriage is wrong. I truly thought this board -- while often incredibly self-centered and preoccupied with money -- was at least evolved enough to see past simple prejudices. Boy, was I wrong.

You posted what you posted because you wanted to "out" all the other DCUMers who harbor anti-gay attitudes so you could all feel good about your "normal" lives. And you succeeded. Congrats.

But it's a little late for an apology.

What's next: "Do kids with SN really creep you out, too?"

I agree 100% - OP is trying to come off as earnest and quite frankly this whole discussion is awful.