Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

For those whove been through it to vote as if the structure and foundation is not suitable for the very policies this specific ADMIN wants to enact. Its only gotten worse since your solutions. Also, neither of us have jobs that have night and weekend hours not that it would help when most exempt day jobs require more than 40 hours now. See my fed husband who worked from 7a-8p last night. How would that work? We are both just supposed to find new jobs that dont do that type of BS in one of the worst job economies?
Also acknowledging systemic issues is not complaining. Its acceptance of the existence of something. We cant solve problems that arent acknowledged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought WOHM life was fantastic and these supermoms did everything that a SAHM does and more?? 🤔

- SAHM

This is a bizarre comment for this thread. No one thinks this.

Maybe not on this particular thread, yet (I haven't read through it all either), but there is a LOT of woh moms who think this exact thing, with share their thoughts frequently.

I have never seen a WOHM post about SAHM being lazy, though sometimes there are snarky response to SAHM proclaiming how hard their life is, with the tasks of a CEO-mom ( like paying bills and scheduling contractors -- there's always a list of make-work).

SAH is a luxury choice, I think if you own it rather than lament the "sacrifice", it will really bring down the heat of the discussion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a young boomer at 65.

Most of my college friends worked throughout their careers. They are accountants, nurses, journalists, HR pris, teachers, lawyers. They used daycare, they lived close to their jobs. They had modest houses, sometimes a biweekly cleaning service, and their kids all watched a lot of TV and played with other kids from their schools without a ton of supervision. There was not a lot of travel sports. Just school sports.

In short we lived much more middle class lives and weren't micromanage the hothouse flowers you are bringing up today.

My DH played it differently. We postponed kids until our early 40s, doing a bunch of travel and house projects then one of us switched to part time after they were born. By that time we had power in our jobs and could set up our schedules to suit us.

You are out of touch. There are no modest homes close to most people's jobs.

Starting at 40s for kids, statistically that means fewer people even get to have kids as its a huge gamble, and on average kids get to have parents for a much shorter part of their lives and likely won't get any grandparent help with childcare.

You real secret was making more than average and buying when houses were cheap

My home is modest and it is close to my job. You need to move away from DC and you’ll find older homes near where you work. I live in eastern Baltimore County in a small 3 bedroom brick home with smallish front and back yards in a neighborhood built in the 50s. I bought it in 2018 for $235k. I’m a single parent and a teacher.

Very similar Baltimore story. Not a single parent, but housing is way more affordable, and we were fortunate to find good jobs here too. Bought a house in 17 years ago that has gone way up in price. Easily paid the mortgage off a few years ago.

There ARE jobs outside of the metro DC area, you just have to be willing to live somewhere else. Maybe give up some lifestyle perks.

Most people need to have jobs in metro areas where housing is expensive because most jobs are not lifetime appointments -- so you need a diverse job market for your NEXT job.

Please share the metro area where housing is cheap and there is a deep job market (good schools are a plus too). AI suggests Huntsville, San Antonio, Pittsburgh, and Atlanta -- is that someplace like where you ended up?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a young boomer at 65.

Most of my college friends worked throughout their careers. They are accountants, nurses, journalists, HR pris, teachers, lawyers. They used daycare, they lived close to their jobs. They had modest houses, sometimes a biweekly cleaning service, and their kids all watched a lot of TV and played with other kids from their schools without a ton of supervision. There was not a lot of travel sports. Just school sports.

In short we lived much more middle class lives and weren't micromanage the hothouse flowers you are bringing up today.

My DH played it differently. We postponed kids until our early 40s, doing a bunch of travel and house projects then one of us switched to part time after they were born. By that time we had power in our jobs and could set up our schedules to suit us.

You are out of touch. There are no modest homes close to most people's jobs.

Starting at 40s for kids, statistically that means fewer people even get to have kids as its a huge gamble, and on average kids get to have parents for a much shorter part of their lives and likely won't get any grandparent help with childcare.

You real secret was making more than average and buying when houses were cheap

My home is modest and it is close to my job. You need to move away from DC and you’ll find older homes near where you work. I live in eastern Baltimore County in a small 3 bedroom brick home with smallish front and back yards in a neighborhood built in the 50s. I bought it in 2018 for $235k. I’m a single parent and a teacher.

Very similar Baltimore story. Not a single parent, but housing is way more affordable, and we were fortunate to find good jobs here too. Bought a house in 17 years ago that has gone way up in price. Easily paid the mortgage off a few years ago.

There ARE jobs outside of the metro DC area, you just have to be willing to live somewhere else. Maybe give up some lifestyle perks.

Yes there are jobs. Yes there are good jobs. There is also a LOT of luck involved. You also bought a house 17 GD years ago.

Get some self awareness and stop being so smug.

Maybe you should stop posting on a message board in the middle of the work day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a young boomer at 65.

Most of my college friends worked throughout their careers. They are accountants, nurses, journalists, HR pris, teachers, lawyers. They used daycare, they lived close to their jobs. They had modest houses, sometimes a biweekly cleaning service, and their kids all watched a lot of TV and played with other kids from their schools without a ton of supervision. There was not a lot of travel sports. Just school sports.

In short we lived much more middle class lives and weren't micromanage the hothouse flowers you are bringing up today.

My DH played it differently. We postponed kids until our early 40s, doing a bunch of travel and house projects then one of us switched to part time after they were born. By that time we had power in our jobs and could set up our schedules to suit us.

You are out of touch. There are no modest homes close to most people's jobs.

Starting at 40s for kids, statistically that means fewer people even get to have kids as its a huge gamble, and on average kids get to have parents for a much shorter part of their lives and likely won't get any grandparent help with childcare.

You real secret was making more than average and buying when houses were cheap

My home is modest and it is close to my job. You need to move away from DC and you’ll find older homes near where you work. I live in eastern Baltimore County in a small 3 bedroom brick home with smallish front and back yards in a neighborhood built in the 50s. I bought it in 2018 for $235k. I’m a single parent and a teacher.

Very similar Baltimore story. Not a single parent, but housing is way more affordable, and we were fortunate to find good jobs here too. Bought a house in 17 years ago that has gone way up in price. Easily paid the mortgage off a few years ago.

There ARE jobs outside of the metro DC area, you just have to be willing to live somewhere else. Maybe give up some lifestyle perks.

Yes there are jobs. Yes there are good jobs. There is also a LOT of luck involved. You also bought a house 17 GD years ago.

Get some self awareness and stop being so smug.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a young boomer at 65.

Most of my college friends worked throughout their careers. They are accountants, nurses, journalists, HR pris, teachers, lawyers. They used daycare, they lived close to their jobs. They had modest houses, sometimes a biweekly cleaning service, and their kids all watched a lot of TV and played with other kids from their schools without a ton of supervision. There was not a lot of travel sports. Just school sports.

In short we lived much more middle class lives and weren't micromanage the hothouse flowers you are bringing up today.

My DH played it differently. We postponed kids until our early 40s, doing a bunch of travel and house projects then one of us switched to part time after they were born. By that time we had power in our jobs and could set up our schedules to suit us.

You are out of touch. There are no modest homes close to most people's jobs.

Starting at 40s for kids, statistically that means fewer people even get to have kids as its a huge gamble, and on average kids get to have parents for a much shorter part of their lives and likely won't get any grandparent help with childcare.

You real secret was making more than average and buying when houses were cheap

My home is modest and it is close to my job. You need to move away from DC and you’ll find older homes near where you work. I live in eastern Baltimore County in a small 3 bedroom brick home with smallish front and back yards in a neighborhood built in the 50s. I bought it in 2018 for $235k. I’m a single parent and a teacher.

Very similar Baltimore story. Not a single parent, but housing is way more affordable, and we were fortunate to find good jobs here too. Bought a house in 17 years ago that has gone way up in price. Easily paid the mortgage off a few years ago.

There ARE jobs outside of the metro DC area, you just have to be willing to live somewhere else. Maybe give up some lifestyle perks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought WOHM life was fantastic and these supermoms did everything that a SAHM does and more?? 🤔

- SAHM

This is a bizarre comment for this thread. No one thinks this.

Maybe not on this particular thread, yet (I haven't read through it all either), but there is a LOT of woh moms who think this exact thing, with share their thoughts frequently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought WOHM life was fantastic and these supermoms did everything that a SAHM does and more?? 🤔

- SAHM

This is a bizarre comment for this thread. No one thinks this.

DP. To be fair, to the pp, people do say this on this site all of the time. They say that SAHMs of elementary schoolers are lazy and do nothing that WOH parents don’t do just as well or better.

I don't think they are lazy but I do think their day to day life is less frantic in the specific way that OP cites. Nothing wrong with that, and in fact, I think it is the recipe for a happier life!

Sure. If nothing else, they work from home and have flexible schedules!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought WOHM life was fantastic and these supermoms did everything that a SAHM does and more?? 🤔

- SAHM

This is a bizarre comment for this thread. No one thinks this.

DP. To be fair, to the pp, people do say this on this site all of the time. They say that SAHMs of elementary schoolers are lazy and do nothing that WOH parents don’t do just as well or better.

I don't think they are lazy but I do think their day to day life is less frantic in the specific way that OP cites. Nothing wrong with that, and in fact, I think it is the recipe for a happier life!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought WOHM life was fantastic and these supermoms did everything that a SAHM does and more?? 🤔

- SAHM

This is a bizarre comment for this thread. No one thinks this.

DP. To be fair, to the pp, people do say this on this site all of the time. They say that SAHMs of elementary schoolers are lazy and do nothing that WOH parents don’t do just as well or better.

I am with you, OP. It sort of feels like the equivalent of living paycheck to paycheck, but with time instead of money. It’s like everything is already spent with getting our day to day needs met, and any hiccup at all feels like a catastrophe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

:roll: oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

Cost of housing is driven by location, school quality etc. the actual construction is generally a smaller factor.

There is a German Saying "the baby brings the bread"

Most dual income parents miss that concept. The Baby is bringing the money if you let it.

In my case I made 69K a year when first was born. We had just bought a house (kinda a small starter in a second tier neighborhood) Avacado Green Oven and Vomit yellow dishwashser both from 1969 with Formica counterops with burns and Yellow and black bathrom a Brown Toliet all of 1,300 sf. We put a good downpayment on it. Realtors kept pressing up to buy bigger and better area. Instead we got this turd from a pre-foreclosure sale as is.

Well my wife decided to be a SAHM and left the workforce. She said I am happy this house if we never trade up or cant afford to fix it up much, happy driving my Camry from my single days I dont need vacations, or take out. I will sew clothes, cut your hair, whatever it takes. Of course I said yes. Funny on 69K no way I could make it work but she told me the Baby brings the bread.

Soon after got a promotion, then had second kid and same year a promotion, then year before third kid a promotion, then switched jobs right before birth third kid. I went from 69k to 369K in 7 years. The Baby brings the break, trust me. And I paid zero child care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

At least you’ve explained how you managed to stay married despite your abrasive personality!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?