Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m generally a very nice person, but I wouldn’t allow this. I wouldn’t let any of my six younger siblings, their spouses, or kids vacation freely at my beach house, so why would I let a brother-in-law? It’s simply not their property, and I wouldn’t ask that of someone else, so they shouldn’t be asking me.

I come from a more collectivist Eastern European background, and even with that perspective, I still wouldn’t do this. At most, maybe for one or two of my own siblings—but definitely not for in-laws like a husband’s brother, mother, or sister. I don’t really understand why people are getting so worked up about it. The U.S. tends to emphasize individualism, and sometimes the reactions feel more about signaling moral superiority than genuine concern for family.

Why the double standard? Why is your family okay to invite but your DH’s not okay. Don’t you own it together?

I don’t fully trust his family or know them fully; because they aren’t blood related to me. It is that simple. If we weren’t married, they wouldn’t be apart of my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from Europe and it's very common to own a vacation house. Absolutely nobody goes to someone else's vacations house on their own just like you don't go and "stay" in someone's ordinary house. All the expenses, cleanup, maintenance etc. is not any different, sometimes more difficult/more expensive if further away or remote. If the BIL wants to use a vacation house every month, he needs to buy himself one. The ones here who shout about letting everyone stay, sure, put down your address and we all come over to "live in" your vacation house for free! We're nice, I promise!

Yea, well, this isn't Europe. It's high time you learned to assimilate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from Europe and it's very common to own a vacation house. Absolutely nobody goes to someone else's vacations house on their own just like you don't go and "stay" in someone's ordinary house. All the expenses, cleanup, maintenance etc. is not any different, sometimes more difficult/more expensive if further away or remote. If the BIL wants to use a vacation house every month, he needs to buy himself one. The ones here who shout about letting everyone stay, sure, put down your address and we all come over to "live in" your vacation house for free! We're nice, I promise!

Yea, well, this isn't Europe. It's high time you learned to assimilate.

Anonymous wrote:I'm from Europe and it's very common to own a vacation house. Absolutely nobody goes to someone else's vacations house on their own just like you don't go and "stay" in someone's ordinary house. All the expenses, cleanup, maintenance etc. is not any different, sometimes more difficult/more expensive if further away or remote. If the BIL wants to use a vacation house every month, he needs to buy himself one. The ones here who shout about letting everyone stay, sure, put down your address and we all come over to "live in" your vacation house for free! We're nice, I promise!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m generally a very nice person, but I wouldn’t allow this. I wouldn’t let any of my six younger siblings, their spouses, or kids vacation freely at my beach house, so why would I let a brother-in-law? It’s simply not their property, and I wouldn’t ask that of someone else, so they shouldn’t be asking me.

I come from a more collectivist Eastern European background, and even with that perspective, I still wouldn’t do this. At most, maybe for one or two of my own siblings—but definitely not for in-laws like a husband’s brother, mother, or sister. I don’t really understand why people are getting so worked up about it. The U.S. tends to emphasize individualism, and sometimes the reactions feel more about signaling moral superiority than genuine concern for family.

Why the double standard? Why is your family okay to invite but your DH’s not okay. Don’t you own it together?

I don’t fully trust his family or know them fully; because they aren’t blood related to me. It is that simple. If we weren’t married, they wouldn’t be apart of my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it all depends upon what kind of family members and financial resources you've. Its a nice thing to share excess resources with nice family, a burden if user isn't thoughtful and you end up spending money meant for another expense on cleaning and repairs. Obviously if they would mind if you said no to use, they would also mind if you asked to share the cost.

What is this obsession with cleaning and repairs? Who do you people associate with where this is always such a major problem? Again, I ask, are you all seriously this tightly wound in real life? Might I suggest xanax?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m generally a very nice person, but I wouldn’t allow this. I wouldn’t let any of my six younger siblings, their spouses, or kids vacation freely at my beach house, so why would I let a brother-in-law? It’s simply not their property, and I wouldn’t ask that of someone else, so they shouldn’t be asking me.

I come from a more collectivist Eastern European background, and even with that perspective, I still wouldn’t do this. At most, maybe for one or two of my own siblings—but definitely not for in-laws like a husband’s brother, mother, or sister. I don’t really understand why people are getting so worked up about it. The U.S. tends to emphasize individualism, and sometimes the reactions feel more about signaling moral superiority than genuine concern for family.

Why the double standard? Why is your family okay to invite but your DH’s not okay. Don’t you own it together?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not good to leave a home empty for months on end. It's better for them to be lived in. We actively encourage relatives and friends to use our second home when we're not there.

It's probably because you've good liability insurance and also extra money to fix wear and tear caused by unpaid guests.

There is something seriously wrong with you.

Anonymous wrote:I guess it all depends upon what kind of family members and financial resources you've. Its a nice thing to share excess resources with nice family, a burden if user isn't thoughtful and you end up spending money meant for another expense on cleaning and repairs. Obviously if they would mind if you said no to use, they would also mind if you asked to share the cost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not good to leave a home empty for months on end. It's better for them to be lived in. We actively encourage relatives and friends to use our second home when we're not there.

It's probably because you've good liability insurance and also extra money to fix wear and tear caused by unpaid guests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

Lol, also my question.

It's easy to act like you'd let whoever stay in your multi-million dollar beach house. It's another thing to actually have to deal with it and with some people who are obnoxious and don't take care of things. If you don't have a nice vacation house, I'm not sure what to tell you, except that your opinion is useless.