Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:57     Subject: Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:This is a strange post. They don't actually expect you to go to the destination wedding with a 2 year old and a baby. The invite was just a courtesy.
For the local event, it is not unreasonable that you would find a babysitter, or that you would go and your significant other would stay with the kids. When my grandmother died, I left my 2 month old son with my husband for 2 days and went to her funeral. I pumped.


When my grandmother died, I stayed home and nursed my 1 month old son (born prematurely). I think my grandmother would understand.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:48     Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It is entirely believable that someone will decide that op leaving before the event concludes officially is unacceptable and make a petty comment.


And so the groom and OP should bend over backwards to change what works best for each of them to avoid a petty comment being made? Who cares? Brother should have the wedding he wants, and if OP is not close with him, and the situation doesn't work for her, it's ok to leave early or only go to the ceremony.


I think the point is the groom or the bride shouldn't make a petty comment if op chooses to leave early because of her newborn.


Her brother doesn’t even like her. Why are people so sure he’s going to go running after her? The mother invited her, brother is probably totally indifferent.


Because he doesn't like her. So he will use it as an opportunity to complain about her to his parents.


OP wishes. I don’t like one of my brothers and his absence would be a perk.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:14     Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is your daily reminder that while your kids may be the center of YOUR world, they are not in fact the center of THE world.


Also a good daily reminder to brides and grooms that they can invite who they want but they can't force people to attend.


And absolutely NO ONE said otherwise.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:13     Subject: Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean I've been through getting married when my sibling had a young child and I talked to my sibling about what they needed.

I just think this is another symptom in a larger picture of a strained sibling relationship. Which is a little sad.


This. Can’t be fixed by a wedding invitation. But anyone who does this does not have a good relationship with their sibling or they are just supremely self centered! Loving people want the people they love around them on these special occasions. Hope no one did this and thought they were being a normal good person lolol. Everyone thinks you’re awful and also a little crazy.


You don’t speak for “everyone” and you sound more than a bit off yourself. “Lolol” in 2026? Are you 90 or 8?
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:04     Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
I flew to brother’s kid free wedding (with DH) when my first was 8 weeks old. I pumped and it was fine. I was very happy to make it work because no way was I going to miss this milestone for my brother. And it was their special day, not mine. (And I do think babies take attention away at events like this.)

You don’t seem like you want to make an effort OP, so don’t - you admit you’re not close anyway. But don’t pretend you can’t fathom leaving a 3 month old for a lunch/dinner for an event you wanted to attend.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:03     Subject: Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is your brother a narcissist? Two weddings including a destination one...not wanting kids to steal the attention...making it nearly impossible for you to attend as a mother nursing a very young infant.


A 15 person dinner after a court house wedding isn't exactly a lavish affair. It's pretty basic to figure out the legal side before the wedding they really want abroad. Some cultures invite half the village and the party goes on for days. This is nothing like that.


Interesting to have such inflexible policy on his sister's kids at a not exactly lavish affair though.



If he gives an inch then she will want it to be at a restaurant closer to her home, not during nap time or bed time, with an appropriate kid menu, etc etc. it’s one meal she can figure it out or just not go for her brother’s wedding.


That's quite a paranoid leap. Do you also think he's going through the whole process of getting married in another country for the sole purpose of keeping her kids away?


Probably, seeing as she can't just go with the flow for the local, low effort wedding. OP is high maintenance and wants the world to revolve around her kids.


Never nursed a newborn have you? [/quote

I’ve nursed multiple and I agree with her.

Oops.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:02     Subject: Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was pretty aware that my nephew was going through bottle refusal around 3 to 4 months and I'm wouldn't have thought to ask my brother to leave his kid home.

Look, I'm just saying siblings with good relationships would likely talk this out. I also really didn't want my sis in law to feel left out from a family event.


Op's brother does not appear thoughtful or to value a relationship with her though.

You seem more considerate.


Exactly. Which is why it’s ok that op is hurt. Also ok to send regrets and not feel bad about it. Brother is rude and their relationship is not good for whatever reasons. Good siblings don’t do this sort of thing.


You are impressively wrong. I almost admire your level of dedication to your wrongness.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:01     Subject: Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:Skip all the events. Send a card and a $50 gift card to Amazon. Sign all 4 names on the card. Done.


Only if you’re a massive overgrown toddler like this person, OP.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 20:58     Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:This is your daily reminder that while your kids may be the center of YOUR world, they are not in fact the center of THE world.


Also a good daily reminder to brides and grooms that they can invite who they want but they can't force people to attend.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 20:57     Subject: Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Talk to your brother. He's a typical clueless newlywed, doesn't know about the breastfeeding, and probably doesn't care. There are many like him!

Kids make weddings so joyful and spontaneous, and I wanted all my baby relatives at my wedding! But I grudgingly accept that others might not share this love of multi-generational gatherings. It's his call, in the end.


Ok. Thanks for acknowledging that crying babies in the wedding aren't universal signs of joy.


PP you replied to. I have never attended a wedding where a baby cried. And I have attended MANY weddings, ALL of which were kid-centric.

Blows your little mind, doesn't it?



Lucky you. Our wedding video is filled with my cousin’s crying baby because neither she or her DH woukd simply get up and take the baby out.


Mine does to as mom and dad were helping or in the wedding. That baby is now an adult and a sweetheart. We laugh over it.

Weddings are for family and friends. I would not go.


Wrong. Weddings are for the couple. If you want a family reunion, throw one and bankroll it. 🤷‍♀️
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 20:55     Subject: Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Talk to your brother. He's a typical clueless newlywed, doesn't know about the breastfeeding, and probably doesn't care. There are many like him!

Kids make weddings so joyful and spontaneous, and I wanted all my baby relatives at my wedding! But I grudgingly accept that others might not share this love of multi-generational gatherings. It's his call, in the end.


Ok. Thanks for acknowledging that crying babies in the wedding aren't universal signs of joy.


PP you replied to. I have never attended a wedding where a baby cried. And I have attended MANY weddings, ALL of which were kid-centric.

Blows your little mind, doesn't it?



You are a rare unicorn. I’ve been to several.

Blows your little mind, doesn’t it?
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 20:52     Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
This is your daily reminder that while your kids may be the center of YOUR world, they are not in fact the center of THE world.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 20:38     Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It is entirely believable that someone will decide that op leaving before the event concludes officially is unacceptable and make a petty comment.


And so the groom and OP should bend over backwards to change what works best for each of them to avoid a petty comment being made? Who cares? Brother should have the wedding he wants, and if OP is not close with him, and the situation doesn't work for her, it's ok to leave early or only go to the ceremony.


I think the point is the groom or the bride shouldn't make a petty comment if op chooses to leave early because of her newborn.


Her brother doesn’t even like her. Why are people so sure he’s going to go running after her? The mother invited her, brother is probably totally indifferent.


Because he doesn't like her. So he will use it as an opportunity to complain about her to his parents.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 19:04     Subject: Not inviting kids.
My BIL is having an adult only wedding. Only exception is our children. They are in elementary and high school though, not babies and toddlers.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 18:16     Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It is entirely believable that someone will decide that op leaving before the event concludes officially is unacceptable and make a petty comment.


And so the groom and OP should bend over backwards to change what works best for each of them to avoid a petty comment being made? Who cares? Brother should have the wedding he wants, and if OP is not close with him, and the situation doesn't work for her, it's ok to leave early or only go to the ceremony.


I think the point is the groom or the bride shouldn't make a petty comment if op chooses to leave early because of her newborn.


Her brother doesn’t even like her. Why are people so sure he’s going to go running after her? The mother invited her, brother is probably totally indifferent.