Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be prouder of my adult DC (24) going no contact with my toxic MIL.

This generation will NOT be subjected to constant criticism, judgement and negativity most especially by their elders and are being advised to establish boundaries by their therapists.

This is it.

Family relationships are special and really wonderful, but they are not automatic. If the other party can’t be a decent person who does special and wonderful things they shouldn’t be in your life.

If you won’t accept the behavior from a stranger or a friend, why from family?

Is that the bar you set for family relationships? It’s not enough that the family member be a decent person, but they have to do special and wonderful things to be in your life??

It takes very little to be special and wonderful to a child. Both sets of grandparents in our family manage it very naturally. An adult who couldn’t manage at that level would be unlikely to be someone that child sought a relationship with in the future…

I know a young adult (friend of mine) who cut off her parents at the advice of her therapist due to the depression / anxiety she was feeling. She had moved a few times during childhood and the therapist told her that those moves meant that any time she saw her parents / siblings she was feeling the traumatic effects of those transitions and that she needed to be no contact to heal. This was way before social media. There was no trauma or abuse or horrible parents in the story. She went no contact for two years but still had anxiety and depression. So she got back in touch with her sisters and eventually her parents. Now many years later she says the no contact period was more harmful to her than anything as her family had been her support system in many ways and without them, she went to an even darker place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be prouder of my adult DC (24) going no contact with my toxic MIL.

This generation will NOT be subjected to constant criticism, judgement and negativity most especially by their elders and are being advised to establish boundaries by their therapists.

This is it.

Family relationships are special and really wonderful, but they are not automatic. If the other party can’t be a decent person who does special and wonderful things they shouldn’t be in your life.

If you won’t accept the behavior from a stranger or a friend, why from family?

Is that the bar you set for family relationships? It’s not enough that the family member be a decent person, but they have to do special and wonderful things to be in your life??

DP, but why not? Why is the bar so low ("decent person"), why can't we raise the standards for who we have in our life? I really don't see anything wrong with what pp said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be prouder of my adult DC (24) going no contact with my toxic MIL.

This generation will NOT be subjected to constant criticism, judgement and negativity most especially by their elders and are being advised to establish boundaries by their therapists.

This is it.

Family relationships are special and really wonderful, but they are not automatic. If the other party can’t be a decent person who does special and wonderful things they shouldn’t be in your life.

If you won’t accept the behavior from a stranger or a friend, why from family?

Is that the bar you set for family relationships? It’s not enough that the family member be a decent person, but they have to do special and wonderful things to be in your life??

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be prouder of my adult DC (24) going no contact with my toxic MIL.

This generation will NOT be subjected to constant criticism, judgement and negativity most especially by their elders and are being advised to establish boundaries by their therapists.

Good job raising a self aware and confident child.

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be prouder of my adult DC (24) going no contact with my toxic MIL.

This generation will NOT be subjected to constant criticism, judgement and negativity most especially by their elders and are being advised to establish boundaries by their therapists.

This is it.

Family relationships are special and really wonderful, but they are not automatic. If the other party can’t be a decent person who does special and wonderful things they shouldn’t be in your life.

If you won’t accept the behavior from a stranger or a friend, why from family?

I couldn’t be prouder of my adult DC (24) going no contact with my toxic MIL.

This generation will NOT be subjected to constant criticism, judgement and negativity most especially by their elders and are being advised to establish boundaries by their therapists.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50's and I know at least 6-7 parents who are dealing with this issue with their kids (all Gen Z). I think Gen Z has definitely grown up to be a very entitled and selfish generation. I also know a lady in her 70's who go cut off by her daughter (which would also include her granddaughter) because she stopped giving her money.

Yep - a lot of times it is about the money. The kid will suddenly recall the one time when the parent failed to attend his/her play performance from the 3rd grade which later caused years of trauma. Since the parents caused the trauma, they owe the kid money.

+1000 way too many kids (Gen Z and Millenials) cut off their parents when they cut off the financial support.

And also, no. It’s often not about the money. Some parents lack the self-awareness to recognize their lifelong abusive, controlling, or transactional behavior, so when an adult child severs ties, they assume it must be financially motivated—because they can’t or won’t face the emotional harm they've inflicted. Many adult children recognized their parent’s narcissism long before the term was watered down by social media to describe everyday self-absorption, and when that parent is elderly but cognitively intact, financially secure, and likely to live past 100, cutting ties becomes a matter of survival, not spite. How many with abusive parents in excellent health want to carry that burden into their own 70s or 80s—trapped by a distorted commandment to “honor thy father and mother”? The younger adults who walk away are often judged as immature or ungrateful, but perhaps they’re the ones with foresight—accepting that their parent won’t change and choosing self-preservation over slow emotional erosion. Some may even grasp the cruel irony: their centenarian parent could very well outlive them.

Social media is insanely toxic. It is like a growing malignant cancer, slowly killing our society.