Anonymous
05/19/2025 16:32
Subject: Differences in gender roles
If both partners are ambitious, there has to be love, compatibility, physical & mental health, sexual attraction, money, family support, professional stability, healthy kids etc. to make it work for both and keep healthy marriage and well nurtured kids. However, very small percentage of couples get all that.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 16:26
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
I will fully admit I have one of those made up, meaningless jobs (although it pays quite well).
I do it because it makes me happy. I like the mental stimulation. I like having lots of money and being able to buy nice things. I like having things to do besides raise kids. If all I did was care for my H and kids all day, I’d be completely miserable.
Women don’t need to justify working. If you want to work, work. Your kids will be fine. It’s far better to have a happy mom than a mom who hovers over them 24/7.
Its not great to have a happy but unavailable mom. Kids need balance not a happy mum who rather spends most waking hours at work, shopping and at social occasions to display her shopped goods.
Funny how no one says that about dads 🧐
If they aren't working to pay bills but just for fancy clothes and social activity, everyone says that loudly.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 14:01
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
This is what women without jobs say to justify not having a job. If it helps you sleep at night, sure....
I work in the climate change sector, on the finance side - so I am directly contributing to renewable energy projects being built. My best friend is a veterinarian and literally saves the lives of pets. My other best friend is a teacher; a friend's daughter ended up in her class this year, and has literally changed the daughter's life, because she has connected so well with her teacher, which has been much needed in light of the mental health challenges this girl has recently had (brother with cancer). My best friend from college is a researcher in a biology field. All the women I'm good friends with have meaningful jobs that impact people around them.
Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong people. Perhaps an echo chamber of non-working women who don't actually know any working women, and just keep repeating the lie that jobs aren't important?
I literally think the finance side of the climate change sector is BS. You are part of the greenwash shill.
Was thinking this too. It's arguably worse than just being a finance ahole.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 13:23
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
This is what women without jobs say to justify not having a job. If it helps you sleep at night, sure....
I work in the climate change sector, on the finance side - so I am directly contributing to renewable energy projects being built. My best friend is a veterinarian and literally saves the lives of pets. My other best friend is a teacher; a friend's daughter ended up in her class this year, and has literally changed the daughter's life, because she has connected so well with her teacher, which has been much needed in light of the mental health challenges this girl has recently had (brother with cancer). My best friend from college is a researcher in a biology field. All the women I'm good friends with have meaningful jobs that impact people around them.
Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong people. Perhaps an echo chamber of non-working women who don't actually know any working women, and just keep repeating the lie that jobs aren't important?
DP. I’m sorry but these are poor examples of people in jobs mattering, except for the teacher who is filling a stereotypically feminine, pseudo-maternal role in a child’s life.
Why do you matter, PP? What do you do that matters at all?
There is a little tiny garden on this earth that belongs to me, and a hierarchy of needs in my sphere of influence. Is being ambitious in my career more important than my presence at home with my family and in my community? No, I don’t think it is. I very obviously matter to them more than I do my boss and coworkers and “climate change financial products”. I’m saying there is a hierarchy and outside of rare exceptions to the rule, what you do at work, and for work, ranks vastly lower on the ladder than the rest of your life.
So presumably your husband works? Does he matter less to your family than to his boss and co-workers? If so, why? If not, how is that possible? It's almost like you can't even see your hypocrisy, and your sense of self-importance is so inflated it's going to float away soon.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 13:17
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Here is the problem, biologically, moms need about 2-3 years of downtime for each kid. You are growing a person, breastfeeding a person, etc. do you will be dependent on dh’s income for those years. After that you will have the mom load and you will be mommy tracked. You don’t want to be in a position of resenting your dh - that’s s marriage killer.
You can:
Downsize your lifestyle so his income is completely sufficient for those years and you DONT resent him for not being as ambitious and earning more. Then ramp back up in your career when the kid is 6-12 and have dad step up kid activities more and bank that extra money for an awesome retirement and college fund.
Mismatched ambition can be a red flag. BUT having kids changes many women’s priorities. If you are willing to forego some trappings of materialism you can make this work.
Maybe for you. This may come as a shock, but not everyone is taken down like pregnancy and childbirth as you seem to be.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 12:06
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
I will fully admit I have one of those made up, meaningless jobs (although it pays quite well).
I do it because it makes me happy. I like the mental stimulation. I like having lots of money and being able to buy nice things. I like having things to do besides raise kids. If all I did was care for my H and kids all day, I’d be completely miserable.
Women don’t need to justify working. If you want to work, work. Your kids will be fine. It’s far better to have a happy mom than a mom who hovers over them 24/7.
Its not great to have a happy but unavailable mom. Kids need balance not a happy mum who rather spends most waking hours at work, shopping and at social occasions to display her shopped goods.
Aren't we lucky that those aren't the only two choices?
Anonymous
05/19/2025 12:03
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
This is what women without jobs say to justify not having a job. If it helps you sleep at night, sure....
I work in the climate change sector, on the finance side - so I am directly contributing to renewable energy projects being built. My best friend is a veterinarian and literally saves the lives of pets. My other best friend is a teacher; a friend's daughter ended up in her class this year, and has literally changed the daughter's life, because she has connected so well with her teacher, which has been much needed in light of the mental health challenges this girl has recently had (brother with cancer). My best friend from college is a researcher in a biology field. All the women I'm good friends with have meaningful jobs that impact people around them.
Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong people. Perhaps an echo chamber of non-working women who don't actually know any working women, and just keep repeating the lie that jobs aren't important?
+1
It’s giving LDS sahw vibes.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 11:54
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
This is what women without jobs say to justify not having a job. If it helps you sleep at night, sure....
I work in the climate change sector, on the finance side - so I am directly contributing to renewable energy projects being built. My best friend is a veterinarian and literally saves the lives of pets. My other best friend is a teacher; a friend's daughter ended up in her class this year, and has literally changed the daughter's life, because she has connected so well with her teacher, which has been much needed in light of the mental health challenges this girl has recently had (brother with cancer). My best friend from college is a researcher in a biology field. All the women I'm good friends with have meaningful jobs that impact people around them.
Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong people. Perhaps an echo chamber of non-working women who don't actually know any working women, and just keep repeating the lie that jobs aren't important?
I literally think the finance side of the climate change sector is BS. You are part of the greenwash shill.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 11:52
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
This is what women without jobs say to justify not having a job. If it helps you sleep at night, sure....
I work in the climate change sector, on the finance side - so I am directly contributing to renewable energy projects being built. My best friend is a veterinarian and literally saves the lives of pets. My other best friend is a teacher; a friend's daughter ended up in her class this year, and has literally changed the daughter's life, because she has connected so well with her teacher, which has been much needed in light of the mental health challenges this girl has recently had (brother with cancer). My best friend from college is a researcher in a biology field. All the women I'm good friends with have meaningful jobs that impact people around them.
Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong people. Perhaps an echo chamber of non-working women who don't actually know any working women, and just keep repeating the lie that jobs aren't important?
DP. I’m sorry but these are poor examples of people in jobs mattering, except for the teacher who is filling a stereotypically feminine, pseudo-maternal role in a child’s life.
Why do you matter, PP? What do you do that matters at all?
There is a little tiny garden on this earth that belongs to me, and a hierarchy of needs in my sphere of influence. Is being ambitious in my career more important than my presence at home with my family and in my community? No, I don’t think it is. I very obviously matter to them more than I do my boss and coworkers and “climate change financial products”. I’m saying there is a hierarchy and outside of rare exceptions to the rule, what you do at work, and for work, ranks vastly lower on the ladder than the rest of your life.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 11:50
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
I will fully admit I have one of those made up, meaningless jobs (although it pays quite well).
I do it because it makes me happy. I like the mental stimulation. I like having lots of money and being able to buy nice things. I like having things to do besides raise kids. If all I did was care for my H and kids all day, I’d be completely miserable.
Women don’t need to justify working. If you want to work, work. Your kids will be fine. It’s far better to have a happy mom than a mom who hovers over them 24/7.
Its not great to have a happy but unavailable mom. Kids need balance not a happy mum who rather spends most waking hours at work, shopping and at social occasions to display her shopped goods.
Funny how no one says that about dads 🧐
Because men are usually emotionally deaf.
The stereotype of their inability to multi-task is kind of true as well.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 11:48
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.
Would you say that to a dad? Of course, a woman can have both! If you had one or two children and your spouse was sn equal partner why not?
I'm sorry but 90% of women can't have it both. That's not how our biology or this society works.
This is true. Parenting is more than a full-time commitment.
We don't expect to work full time while in college, or likewise have kids while in college - although some superhumans do manage both however they have A LOT of family support in the case of the latter. Nor do we expect someone on a military assignment to startup a business.
It comes down to priorities. If career and climbing the corporate ladder is a priority, then don't have children.
Because children need to be someone's priority once they are here.
One can outsource babysitting. One can't outsource parenting.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 11:42
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:How do people make family life work with two demanding yet not lucrative careers? Who gets the short end of the stick?
usually the woman, but if she is not willing to let that happen, then she should run.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 11:36
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
I will fully admit I have one of those made up, meaningless jobs (although it pays quite well).
I do it because it makes me happy. I like the mental stimulation. I like having lots of money and being able to buy nice things. I like having things to do besides raise kids. If all I did was care for my H and kids all day, I’d be completely miserable.
Women don’t need to justify working. If you want to work, work. Your kids will be fine. It’s far better to have a happy mom than a mom who hovers over them 24/7.
Its not great to have a happy but unavailable mom. Kids need balance not a happy mum who rather spends most waking hours at work, shopping and at social occasions to display her shopped goods.
Funny how no one says that about dads 🧐
Anonymous
05/19/2025 11:31
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
I will fully admit I have one of those made up, meaningless jobs (although it pays quite well).
I do it because it makes me happy. I like the mental stimulation. I like having lots of money and being able to buy nice things. I like having things to do besides raise kids. If all I did was care for my H and kids all day, I’d be completely miserable.
Women don’t need to justify working. If you want to work, work. Your kids will be fine. It’s far better to have a happy mom than a mom who hovers over them 24/7.
+1 Amen.. and be miserable while hovering.
Anonymous
05/19/2025 11:30
Subject: Differences in gender roles
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.
This is what women without jobs say to justify not having a job. If it helps you sleep at night, sure....
I work in the climate change sector, on the finance side - so I am directly contributing to renewable energy projects being built. My best friend is a veterinarian and literally saves the lives of pets. My other best friend is a teacher; a friend's daughter ended up in her class this year, and has literally changed the daughter's life, because she has connected so well with her teacher, which has been much needed in light of the mental health challenges this girl has recently had (brother with cancer). My best friend from college is a researcher in a biology field. All the women I'm good friends with have meaningful jobs that impact people around them.
Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong people. Perhaps an echo chamber of non-working women who don't actually know any working women, and just keep repeating the lie that jobs aren't important?
DP. I’m sorry but these are poor examples of people in jobs mattering, except for the teacher who is filling a stereotypically feminine, pseudo-maternal role in a child’s life.
Why do you matter, PP? What do you do that matters at all?