Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 13:53     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Many I know did just that. Used to brag about it

Yup.

They must think the rest of us are too stoooopiddd to know what they're doing. I'm glad we are all back to work. People can quit if they don't like it.

Where’s the data showing that everyone was abusing it?

Dear Leader says so
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 13:00     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.


Why oh why do 35 year olds not understand that there was a life before Covid. We had commutes then, too, sweetie pie. Sometimes over an hour. We figured it out, you will too.

Hon, I'm 47 and have WFH for 10 years. I'm just not a heartless witch who can't empathize with people scrambling to figure out senseless RTO overnight. And I'm also in touch enough to know that childcare options have changed drastically since covid.


An in office 47 year old expert will spend time leading teams and mentoring juniors, which is additional value for career perspective. That’s how I got my promotions after covid when half of my industry refuse to go back. 😆

I'm c-suite (and now hybrid on my own terms)...I don't need your career advice.


Got it, C-suite enough to still feel insecure when low level someone else scored their own opportunity.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:52     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Where are people living that have 2 hour commutes each way? When my kids were in school, we lived near Olney and I left home at 6:15. Dropped off kids at morning care in Bethesda around 7, in office by 7:30-7:45. Left work at 4:30 and picked up at 5:15 or so. Sports practices were generally around 5:30pm or so because the coaches were working parents with in-office jobs. I did that schedule 5 days a week for years.


Frederick. No, I don't have a McMansion. We live here to be down the street from my spouse's job, after a few years of living closer to mine. I got tired of commuting and searched for a fully remote job a couple years ago, joke's on me.

Gosh, I do feel for you to have to hike in from Frederick. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, but DH would have had a reverse commute.


Sure, hindsight is 20/20. There was NO REASON in 2019 to think that hybrid work, telework on days with medical appts, etc would totally vanish from jobs that allowed it.

Anyway, we looked into that option when we moved. Given our salaries, the closest we could get was an hour commute for me by metro, and 45 min to an hour commute for DH by car. We decided it would be better to have one parent very close by, and that it should be the parent whose job we could afford to live very close to, who had to be in person every day. Again, it made sense given the policies in effect, CBAs, and trends over the last decade.

"Hindsight is 20/20" actually does mean that you have different information to make decisions with afterward.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:49     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.


This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!



How were they cheating the system?


its illegal (in the case of govt related jobs or contracting) to perform childcare duties and bill hours. It's against most company policies to do the same.


+1 Even if your employer doesn't have a policy against this, I really don't have sympathy for people who are getting paid for a full time job but don't have full time child care for their young children
- working parent of a young child


Misery loves company is not a valid argument. It's just not. You want everyone to suffer like you instead of everyone to have a better work/life balance. I feel sorry for you that you're such a miserable person.


Sorry, I want to work with people who are available to work. If you are caring for a young child during the same hours you are working you are doing your child, your employer and your coworkers a disservice.

No one is advocating for this. People are advocating for not having to add hours of unnecessary commuting to their day, which makes coordinating childcare more difficult because parents are unavailable longer each day.


Re-read the quoted comments above. This is about not paying for before/aftercare and doing drop off and pickup during your work hours.

No one is advocating to do this. They are saying that commuting makes it harder to handle childcare drop off/pick up while also working FT in the office.

FWIW, compared to pre-COVID, our school district has far fewer before/aftercare slots, due to staffing challenges, and also more restricted bus service. So, no, it's not the same as solving for these challenges pre-COVID.


OP's post is all about how RTO made it impossible to work full time because she didn't want to put her kid in before/after care.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:49     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.



So we should all give up are low mortgage rates and buy homes closer in (since there is an abundance of homes on the market and it the COL in DC is so reasonable). Plus uproot our kids from their schools, activities and friends. What a short sighted comment


Or you could get a job closer to you. Your probably going to get fired anyway, so why not start looking now?
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:45     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:My parents are local, retired, and in good health. While they have never wanted to do full time child care, they offered to do pick up and afternoon care until I can find an aftercare arrangement. (Our ES has a waiting list.) Worst case scenario, they are willing to do it until the end of the school year.
I know that’s not helpful to most, just want to provide transparency—that some people who are making it work have family help, and you shouldn’t feel bad that it’s not as easy for you.


Can your parents pick up my kids as well?
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:45     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Many I know did just that. Used to brag about it

Yup.

They must think the rest of us are too stoooopiddd to know what they're doing. I'm glad we are all back to work. People can quit if they don't like it.

Where’s the data showing that everyone was abusing it?


"THEir NeighBOR WaLkS ThEiR dOg" during the day, is their evidence.

Which implies they’re home watching the neighbor do it, i.e., they’re not at an office either.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:43     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Many I know did just that. Used to brag about it

Yup.

They must think the rest of us are too stoooopiddd to know what they're doing. I'm glad we are all back to work. People can quit if they don't like it.

Where’s the data showing that everyone was abusing it?


"THEir NeighBOR WaLkS ThEiR dOg" during the day, is their evidence.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:42     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.


Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.


This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.



This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.


Because as a taxpayer, I (NP) shouldn’t pay for her individual luxury of “balance.” I and apparently millions of others would prefer to pay her a part-time salary and no federal benefits — because she is in fact working part time.

Whether she wants to be all-in and miss games or lean out and watch basketball doesn’t matter to me. Her fraudulence is the problem.


A) You don't pay my salary, which is fee-funded.
B) Your payment of any fed's salary is miniscule, at best.
C) you're paying for work. If the work is getting done, the "where" is not your business. And for many feds, and all feds at my former agency, getting the work done at home worked perfectly.

None of that is fraud. You're just a bitter old hag.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:41     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Many I know did just that. Used to brag about it

Yup.

They must think the rest of us are too stoooopiddd to know what they're doing. I'm glad we are all back to work. People can quit if they don't like it.

Where’s the data showing that everyone was abusing it?
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:40     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.


This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!


Have you been living under a rock? This is why other working parents are so ‘bitter’ against remote employees.


If you're going to quote that so many people were "cheating" then where are the stats? Your anecdotes are not evidence.

My agency has the evidence. And TW works.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:39     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Many I know did just that. Used to brag about it

Yup.

They must think the rest of us are too stoooopiddd to know what they're doing. I'm glad we are all back to work. People can quit if they don't like it.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:37     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.



So we should all give up are low mortgage rates and buy homes closer in (since there is an abundance of homes on the market and it the COL in DC is so reasonable). Plus uproot our kids from their schools, activities and friends. What a short sighted comment


Yes you made the choice to live far out while our family sacrificed to pay much more to stay close. Your choice your suffering. When the rates were low you should have bought close in to your job moron.


The choice was made when work offered TW. We have about 8 people we hired to work remote over the last 5 years -all but one a veteran, btw- and who now are likely to be out of jobs. These are people who moved to the midwest or other lower COLAs and were able to perform their jobs remotely. And were hired to work remotely. Their "choice" was based on the terms/conditions they were offered.

Don't be dense.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:30     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
My parents are local, retired, and in good health. While they have never wanted to do full time child care, they offered to do pick up and afternoon care until I can find an aftercare arrangement. (Our ES has a waiting list.) Worst case scenario, they are willing to do it until the end of the school year.
I know that’s not helpful to most, just want to provide transparency—that some people who are making it work have family help, and you shouldn’t feel bad that it’s not as easy for you.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2025 12:24     Subject: Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.


This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!



How were they cheating the system?


its illegal (in the case of govt related jobs or contracting) to perform childcare duties and bill hours. It's against most company policies to do the same.


+1 Even if your employer doesn't have a policy against this, I really don't have sympathy for people who are getting paid for a full time job but don't have full time child care for their young children
- working parent of a young child


Misery loves company is not a valid argument. It's just not. You want everyone to suffer like you instead of everyone to have a better work/life balance. I feel sorry for you that you're such a miserable person.


Sorry, I want to work with people who are available to work. If you are caring for a young child during the same hours you are working you are doing your child, your employer and your coworkers a disservice.

No one is advocating for this. People are advocating for not having to add hours of unnecessary commuting to their day, which makes coordinating childcare more difficult because parents are unavailable longer each day.


Re-read the quoted comments above. This is about not paying for before/aftercare and doing drop off and pickup during your work hours.

No one is advocating to do this. They are saying that commuting makes it harder to handle childcare drop off/pick up while also working FT in the office.

FWIW, compared to pre-COVID, our school district has far fewer before/aftercare slots, due to staffing challenges, and also more restricted bus service. So, no, it's not the same as solving for these challenges pre-COVID.