Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

Sure, OP. Go back to your anti-choice protest.

Not OP. I have no idea why you’re conflating being anti-choice with being anti-abandoning your child after your wife dies. This couple made THE CHOICE to bring a child into the world. He should step up and care for his child. Honestly, people will forgive men such bad behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

Then you are judging at least half of the black community, where more than 70 percent of children are born without a father in the home. They are not fighting for custody.

I think there's even a small difference between "not fighting for custody" for a child who has a mother, and completely abandoning them with no parent.

The OP didn't describe a situation where a child was left without a parent.

The mom died and the dad abandoned her.

The father didn't abandon her without a parent. She had an adoptive mother.



Or do adoptive parents not count as parents?

The father was very responsible and I admire him for his caring actions to place his child for adoption with a loving mom. There is no problem or controversy here. This is simply a "family adoption " -- actually, the most common kind of adoption there is. There was no "abandonment." Just how ignorant is the OP??

People on this board claim to be so intelligent and educated but as you can see, they clearly are not.

--social worker

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

Then you are judging at least half of the black community, where more than 70 percent of children are born without a father in the home. They are not fighting for custody.

I think there's even a small difference between "not fighting for custody" for a child who has a mother, and completely abandoning them with no parent.

The OP didn't describe a situation where a child was left without a parent.

The mom died and the dad abandoned her.

The father didn't abandon her without a parent. She had an adoptive mother.



Or do adoptive parents not count as parents?

The father was very responsible and I admire him for his caring actions to place his child for adoption with a loving mom. There is no problem or controversy here. This is simply a "family adoption " -- actually, the most common kind of adoption there is. There was no "abandonment." Just how ignorant is the OP??

People on this board claim to be so intelligent and educated but as you can see, they clearly are not.

--social worker

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

Sure, OP. Go back to your anti-choice protest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

Then you are judging at least half of the black community, where more than 70 percent of children are born without a father in the home. They are not fighting for custody.

I think there's even a small difference between "not fighting for custody" for a child who has a mother, and completely abandoning them with no parent.

The OP didn't describe a situation where a child was left without a parent.

The mom died and the dad abandoned her.

The father didn't abandon her without a parent. She had an adoptive mother.



Or do adoptive parents not count as parents?

Anonymous wrote:I know men who try to care for the kid and just do a terrible job. My friend left her two kids with her husband while she took a high powered job traveling the world. The kids are just struggling in all the social, academic and mental ways possible.

Dad really can't handle it. The kids need their mom. She has to quit and come home to truly raise her kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

I’m an adoptive parent and I agree with you that kids who were adopted often have feelings of loss and abandonment. However, this is not because they were adopted, this is because their bio parents were unable or unwilling to parent them. My guess is that if this man had decided not to do the adoption, but still had the same issues that led him to wanting the adoption in the first place, he would have ended up being a somewhat absent (even if physically present) father, which leads to the same feelings of loss and abandonment.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Stories like this are radicalizing to me. The fact that a man can still do this, in this day and age, and not just be shunned by society, is grotesque.

I know of a woman who bailed on her kids, left them with their (wonderful) father to go "live her own life" and she was rightly shunned by the whole community, including her parents and siblings and her oldest friends.

That's misogyny at work right there. As long as men are allowed to just abandon their children when it suits them, it's a problem for society. And it's been like this forever. And our president elect has even done this! (With Tiffany).

So if someone- mother or father- knows they're not likely to a good parent, you'd rather they keep their child to avoid social ostracization than find a better home for their child?

If we were talking about people with severe mental illness or physical disabilities, sure.

People who have kids and then simply decide they don't like being a parent should be held accountable for that. We want to discourage people from having kids they don't want to care for. A true inability to care for children is a different situation.

There are some serious forced-birther vibes going on here. You should probably move to a red state.

The opposite actually-- if you don't want to be a parent, don't have kids and I for sure want you to have access to abortion. Having an unwanted child is an act of cruelty.

I think lack of abortion access leads to child neglect and abandonment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - a lot of women do this, too. I know two women who abandoned their children. One moved across the country but does have a relationship with her child (she sees her twice a year) and the other one flat out abandoned the child and even the dad has no idea what happened to her. So you ladies need to shut it about this being a man only thing. Absolutely not true.

Very very rare.

According to statistics 20.2% are considered absent dads in the U.S. Approximately 5% or less are absent mothers.