My intelligent, nice, artsy, eloquent, athletic but not recruited, and studious kid finds friends from all kinds of backgrounds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of a golf athlete at an Ivy here. Almost all of the team members are from rich families and UMC. No team members are from MC/LMC. They also hang out with other rich regular students. Poor students are not invited, according to DC.

When you say rich, how much wealth are we talking?

PP. DC has been back on campus for his second year, and sadly, nothing has changed since last year. The dynamic of the team is essentially the same from last year with no poor members, according to DC.

Anonymous wrote:Social media tells all and it has totally changed the college experience. They know where they vacation, who’s on pj’s, etc. thanks to IG.

My senior has made sure to keep her social media travel photos posted.

Sadly it helps with rush and finding your ppl quickly..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS just saw some friends from HS who go to Princeton, Duke and Dartmouth. He reports that all three (boys) say that the only people they hang with are either legacies or athletes.

All three are legacies.

I don’t find this at all surprising as kids from similar backgrounds tend to hang together but it’s also so disappointing and telling about those schools.

FWIW, my son goes to a big public and yes, his friends are mostly white but not mostly legacies or athletes.

I have a kid at at a T100ish private university and one at a top flagship and it is the same situation. Like attracts like. I don't see what is disappointing and telling.

Perhaps people are surprised that people hang around people similar to them because it’s been years since they’ve seen a commercial with a same-race couple in it.

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

OP here. I wasn’t trolling and I think the title of my post led the conversation astray. My point was more was less about money (though that definitely plays a big role), and more that these three boys at top schools are only friends with kids who are either legacies or athletes and I have a feeling that is the norm. And it says more about the social engineer the schools try to do versus the reality of what actually happens.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.[/quote]

100% false. I have a full pay kid at Duke. They’re friends with kids who are fgli and lots of kids on financial aid, and some insanely uber-wealthy people(most of those try to hide it, to be fair). [/quote] But are the fgli/FA kids friends with the wealthy students?[/quote]

Why would the wealthy kids and FGLI kdis be friends? Friendships are usually based on shared experiences. These two groups of kids have nothing in common!

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.[/quote]

100% false. I have a full pay kid at Duke. They’re friends with kids who are fgli and lots of kids on financial aid, and some insanely uber-wealthy people(most of those try to hide it, to be fair). [/quote] But are the fgli/FA kids friends with the wealthy students?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

I imagine there was a bit more socioeconomic homogeneity back then. Perhaps an unintended side effect to current well-intentioned diversity initiatives is more self-segregation. I’m all for broadly defined diversity; I think that road is bound to be bumpy, and that being honest about challenges leads to ideas for improvement.

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

Social media tells all and it has totally changed the college experience. They know where they vacation, who’s on pj’s, etc. thanks to IG.

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

This is DC's experience at Bowdoin. All her friends are solidly middle class down to low income, but there's whole swaths of CEO daughters and trust fund kids who latch to each other throughout the four years and are very careful with who they get close with. There's also clear class distinction between those who went to Philips Academies and Grotons, so you really go to these places to take the resources from the institution, unless you're wealthy and your friend, whose dad is CEO of Boeing, can get you an in.

One of my kids went to Grinnell and didn't see this at all. There were extremely wealthy kids and kids from dirt poor families and everything in between. Everybody seemed to mingle. The one exception was some of the international students who were not completely fluent in English stuck together in first year, but they branched out more as their English improved.

Anonymous wrote:My artsy non legacy hangs with theater kids at her state school. She pivots more towards her major vs economic class

Maybe that’s why?

My artsy non legacy hangs with theater kids at her state school. She pivots more towards her major vs economic class

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friendships in college are very transactional. Both sides need to bring something to the table, rich kids have money, and if you're not rich, you either need to be handsome (as a man) or beautiful (as a woman), and have unique talents. Rich kids love to hang out with talented people.

this is so sad and depressing.

Not really, but then again I'm rich and beautiful so my perspective might be a little skewed.