Way too many posters here who don't understand that anecdotes aren't the same thing as statistically significant.

Anonymous wrote:How are you defining success? Job title, graduate degree, lawyer, medicine, money?

I mean one of the highest earners I know was a bozo in Hs and went to a mediocre school but man- can he sell stuff. He is in sales and makes a lot of money.

We all know what success is. I was a Harvard educated investment banker and married a surgeon. We now have three mini versions of us.

We are now twenty years ahead of OP’s children. I don’t always see a correlation between academic success and professional and financial success. Lots of smart academics in low paying fields.

How are you defining success? Job title, graduate degree, lawyer, medicine, money?

I mean one of the highest earners I know was a bozo in Hs and went to a mediocre school but man- can he sell stuff. He is in sales and makes a lot of money.

"Totally normal careers, at best." Oh no! Elite college wasted. They regressed!

I would love to know the definition of success here and how we determine what a person is supposed to do to prove they got what they were supposed to from their elite education, that they are worthy.

Pretty much all successful 27-28 year olds working in Bay Area tech are NOT married lol

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

Source?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

lol
So true. The OP is a backwards provincial mom stuck on this board with grown and flown children….
Hmmm. What does that tell you.

The upper classes all over the US actually do marry in their mid to late 20s, statistically. It the middle and UMC that marry in their early to mid 30s. The LC marry young and multiple times.

Ummm. Try again. And this tells us you are an immigrant.

You’re projecting, probably because you married late or your kids are still drifting. Smart annd ambitious Gen Zs are marrying much earlier than Gen Y millennials.

The majority of kids labeled gen Z are under the age of 21. The youngest is still in elementary school. Calm down.

Gen Y "millennials" are age 28 to 43. They grew on on pop culture TV shows like Girls, Friends, and Sex and the City, which romanticized hookup culture and serial dating in your 20s and 30s.

Gen Z "zoomers" are ages 12 to 27. Zoomer trendsetters seem to be making marrying young cool again. We've seen a lot of well-off ambitious couples get engaged soon after college. Mature zoomers think serial dating is ick and the idea of being unmarried at 30 is dreadful.

Gen Alpha are <13/14.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

+1

Very odd.

Kids who have every advantage in life , are more likely to succeed.

Good to know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

lol
So true. The OP is a backwards provincial mom stuck on this board with grown and flown children….
Hmmm. What does that tell you.

The upper classes all over the US actually do marry in their mid to late 20s, statistically. It the middle and UMC that marry in their early to mid 30s. The LC marry young and multiple times.

Ummm. Try again. And this tells us you are an immigrant.

You’re projecting, probably because you married late or your kids are still drifting. Smart annd ambitious Gen Zs are marrying much earlier than Gen Y millennials.

The majority of kids labeled gen Z are under the age of 21. The youngest is still in elementary school. Calm down.

Gen Y "millennials" are age 28 to 43. They grew on on pop culture TV shows like Girls, Friends, and Sex and the City, which romanticized hookup culture and serial dating in your 20s and 30s.

Gen Z "zoomers" are ages 12 to 27. Zoomer trendsetters seem to be making marrying young cool again. We've seen a lot of well-off ambitious couples get engaged soon after college. Mature zoomers think serial dating is ick and the idea of being unmarried at 30 is dreadful.

There are actually studies on this topic. Mega successes - those who will invent and create new valuable things - typically had spiky grades, not straight As. Although the straight A conformists are set up well to be successful middle managers.

https://globalleadership.org/articles/leading-yourself/what-straight-a-students-get-wrong

Its not a divine commandment to cross 30 before you cross the threshold.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful young adults who are now 27 or 28 years old were the top students in their high school class, no matter where they went to undergrad. From Ivies to tiny liberal arts college to fairly regional public universities, they all zoomed through undergrad, sometimes in three years, many went to grad or professional school, and they all have great careers. It seems all of them are married.

The handful of middle of the pack students and student-athletes who surprised everyone when they got into elite T20s regressed to their mean and have totally normal careers, at best.

It seems smart ambitious highly-motivated teens become smart ambitious highly-motivated adults. And if your teen is not those things, Tiger Mom'ing them into an elite college probably isn't going to change anything about their life and professional trajectory.

All of them are married at 27? Do you live in the deep south or Pakistan?

Most high school class of 2014 are age 28 right now. And yes, high value smart couples are marrying in their early and mid 20s. We know a Yale '23 & Harvard '23 couple who got married last fall.

"High Value" == speaker is an idiot.

I know to ivy leaguers who married their college loves.

They looked beautiful at their 24-year-old weddings, and looked beautiful again at their 35-year-old second weddings.

I graduated high school in 2006, and generally, everything that has been said upthread rings true. The kids that went to Ivy League schools are successful today, the kids who went to the mid-tier schools have middle management type jobs, and the kids who were slackers are coasting along in the types of roles that don't require alot of education.

There's definitely been a few examples of someone jumping "groups," either up (the guy who went to community college and then Towson, and is now a manager at Google) and down (the guy who failed out of Georgia Tech and is now a car salesman). What is interesting are the people whose parents had "conventional" jobs (doctor, lawyer), but the kid went into a career path that was less conventional, but was successful (for example, there was someone in my HS whose parents were both doctors, but he went into audio engineering, and seems to be pretty successful).

I'm also a parent to mid/later 20s young adults. Among the kids and families I know personally, most kids I know are doing pretty well - both middle of the pack and the high achievers - they have good jobs and are living independently. I agree that the kids that struggled in HS seem to struggle well into adulthood and continue needing a lot of parental support. Some of these kids were very successful students and went on to excellent colleges (where they struggled) and some did not finish and all are at home or parents are subsidizing/supporting- so I guess that sort of matches what OP is saying. As for kids getting married - my kid attended a DC area independent and I'm surprised of the number of boys (age 26-27) that were engaged this year.