Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any chance he has family money?

I married the nice guy with the $80k salary (and excellent benefits) and I had no clue his parents were equipped to pay for our wedding, honeymoon, generous down payment on our first home, etc.

I think he opted for the low paying job knowing his parents would supplement (including gifts like a new car for a milestone birthday and college savings accounts for our kids).

Nonetheless, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t annoyed that I’m the breadwinner with the stressful job that pays our bills. I wasn’t able to be a SAHM. I’m still slightly annoyed about that.

There is definitely something to be said for men who relish in being the provider. Don’t settle if it feels like you are settling.

This might be one of the most obnoxious things I've read on this site, and that's a high bar. You married a nice guy who works, your in-laws paid for your wedding, your honeymoon, your down payment on your home, new cars, and kids' college accounts, and you're annoyed about...anything? It's downright impressive what some folks think they deserve in life.

- Another mom/breadwinner who know exactly what it takes to cover those expenses

Anonymous wrote:Any chance he has family money?

I married the nice guy with the $80k salary (and excellent benefits) and I had no clue his parents were equipped to pay for our wedding, honeymoon, generous down payment on our first home, etc.

I think he opted for the low paying job knowing his parents would supplement (including gifts like a new car for a milestone birthday and college savings accounts for our kids).

Nonetheless, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t annoyed that I’m the breadwinner with the stressful job that pays our bills. I wasn’t able to be a SAHM. I’m still slightly annoyed about that.

There is definitely something to be said for men who relish in being the provider. Don’t settle if it feels like you are settling.

Anonymous wrote:First thing that pops up on google: once a woman is over 35, her chances dropped to less than 30 percent chance of conceiving on their most fertile day.

Anonymous wrote:I’m appalled by the women bragging about getting pregnant naturally in late 30’s. I’m not questioning the veracity of your claim but that is not the norm. It would be terrible to mislead someone. Not everyone can afford IVF or donor egg process if they find out the hard way fertility is down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:99% of Americans do not earn 180$ a year. This is the weirdest question i have ever read on DCUM.

This is spectacularly false. It’s not even a top 10% income in a lot of places anymore.

Do you really believe that?

Look it up, lazybones.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend in the DMV who is a SAHM with a husband who makes about $150K. They live in a decent house in a marginal DMV neighborhood (that they've not been able to maintain) and struggle to get by, as in their kids don't go to camp, dance lessons, music lessons, join soccer teams, etc... They only have one car. They don't take even domestic vacations. The whole SAHM is a bad idea if the mom has the ability to out earn a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:99% of Americans do not earn 180$ a year. This is the weirdest question i have ever read on DCUM.

This is spectacularly false. It’s not even a top 10% income in a lot of places anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m appalled by the women bragging about getting pregnant naturally in late 30’s. I’m not questioning the veracity of your claim but that is not the norm. It would be terrible to mislead someone. Not everyone can afford IVF or donor egg process if they find out the hard way fertility is down.

DP. Isn't the chance of getting pregnant within a year around 66% for women between 35 and 40?

I simply think that these discussions are not very relevant unless you're advising women to enter relationships they don't want to enter just so they can have children, not to mention that any woman who has questions about her fertility should visit a doctor, not DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:I’m appalled by the women bragging about getting pregnant naturally in late 30’s. I’m not questioning the veracity of your claim but that is not the norm. It would be terrible to mislead someone. Not everyone can afford IVF or donor egg process if they find out the hard way fertility is down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you might have unrealistic expectations about having an affluent lifestyle as a SAHM. If that truly is your priority, then you obviously need to find a spouse who can not only deliver that, but is also cool with being the breadwinner supporting a SAHM.

Hint: a lot of men say they want that until they feel the stress of shouldering the financial burden alone.

If you are young, attractive, and educated, you might find this unicorn of a spouse. If not, then adjust your priorities.

How old are you?

Despite what you think, women don’t easily get pregnant after 35. If your clock is ticking, then adjust your priorities.

You're actually very wrong about that. 35 is an arbitrary age based on a small sample of French data from like 100 years ago.