Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest since you requested it OP.

I have a low opinion of parents who do not even want to be the primary caregiver for their children when they are infants and toddlers. I think prioritizing material things and one's own career and self-fulfillment is selfish and indicates a lack of understanding of how important it is for young children to spend most of their time with someone who loves them completely and unconditionally.

A little off of your topic but completely relevant.

Your opinion clearly presumes that the parent has a choice not to work. What about the mother who works not because she prioritizes material things but because she needs to earn money to put food on the table and a roof over the kid's head? Is she selfish?

Must be difficult for you to understand the world outside of your bubble.

I'm not talking about parents who have no choice financially. I'm talking about parents who don't want to be the primary caregiver for their children when they are infants and toddlers.

We did that as a family with very little extra money, prioritizing my children over everything else.

It really just robbed your kids of many experiences.

And so did your choice, just different experiences, I guess we value those experiences differently.

My child experienced me, their father and others. So much learning and comfort from many.

Yours gets you all day and dad for an hour at most. Not great but im sure you do the best you can.

Not good.

Me all day is not only good but it is great. Also, dad gets 3-4 hrs evenings and all weekends with kids. We also interact with other adults and kids everyday. You are reaching.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I assume what you are talking about is being content as a SAHM, because you assume all they are doing is being a wife and mother. They aren't; they are also doing tons of other stuff if they are actually happy. It's probably just not stuff that impresses you.

This^.

That wasn’t the question. Nobody asked are you content being a wife and a mother and a pickle ball player and a scratch golfer.

The question was, are you content only being a wife and a mother.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You mean people like me, who are very well-read, can discuss most current events with intelligence and some background knowledge, and also earn significant passive income from my dividends?

I'm doing great, thank you. Feel free to think whatever you want about me.

That fact that you replied sort of indicates you care what people think.

I only judge those that do not contribute in any way to society - volunteer work, pta, kids activities, anything. If all they do is care for their kids, then I judge them as incredibly selfish and lazy.

No one cares what you think.

Raising well-adjusted kids is the single best thing someone can do for society.

That’s a pretty low bar.

And yet one that a shockingly low number of parents manage to achieve.

Actually the % is pretty high.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends HOW they do it. My mother was a SAHM and our house was always dirty and she was always laying on the couch in her nightgown watching soaps and talk shows when I came home. It wasn't some super clean house with cookies fresh from the oven after school. She never made me breakfast. She never decorated the house for any holidays. She often "forgot" to take anything out to defrost for dinner and we scrambled to pull together a meal.

So someone like that, I don't feel good. A friend of mine is a SAHM and she gets dressed each morning when her kids do, makes them breakfast, makes their lunches with them, keeps up the house, is always arranging play dates, does holiday decor, makes homemade treats for her kids to pass out to their classes for their birthdays, invites people over spontaneously, etc. She's a great SAHM. She treats it like a full time job.

I do all that and I work, so am I a superhuman (yes, yes we are).

So to you it is a contest?

Anonymous wrote:Here are my thoughts:
1. on sending kids to college and then they choose not to work - For people like me, college didn't provide actual work skills, but it did open a door so that jobs would be provided to me. Arguing that they "aren't using what you paid for" is baseless. You pay for college because it opens doors - for jobs and socio-economic opportunity. That includes pair-bonding opportunities.
2. Most jobs are pointless air-sucks - people dissing on SAHM act like they are all saving the world with their stupid jobs. Most jobs, not all jobs, do not add that much value to the world. They may add value to YOUR life, but if your industry disappeared tomorrow, our species wouldn't be at risk.
3. A life spent outside or inside of work can be well spent, or it can be wasted. See how that works?!

On #2 .., do you support unmarried men who don’t work and live with their parents?

If no why not? Jobs are pointless.

I feel bad that they have to rely on their spouse (I suppose truly wealthy people would be exempt, but I'm too poor to know these people LOL).

That's not something I would ever want, or for my children to aspire to. Self sufficiency is very important to me, as it was to my mom (single mom abused by her partner).

It's not a life I want or aspire to, but if other people are happy with it, then great. It's not really any of my business what other people do, so unless someone specifically asked me, it wouldn't come up.

Anonymous wrote:I admire them for prioritizing home & family.

My friends husband quit his job 3 years ago, do you admire him?

Here are my thoughts:
1. on sending kids to college and then they choose not to work - For people like me, college didn't provide actual work skills, but it did open a door so that jobs would be provided to me. Arguing that they "aren't using what you paid for" is baseless. You pay for college because it opens doors - for jobs and socio-economic opportunity. That includes pair-bonding opportunities.
2. Most jobs are pointless air-sucks - people dissing on SAHM act like they are all saving the world with their stupid jobs. Most jobs, not all jobs, do not add that much value to the world. They may add value to YOUR life, but if your industry disappeared tomorrow, our species wouldn't be at risk.
3. A life spent outside or inside of work can be well spent, or it can be wasted. See how that works?!

I think I don't understand it. It's just not how I'm wired. It's funny because I was raised to be that traditional woman, and I have thought my life may have been better ifI could have been satisfied with being a wife and mother, but I couldn't.

Seems to be working for a few I grew up with so different strokes for different folks and all that

I worry about them. This was my mom. That's what she wanted in life. But as we kids grew up and started lives and families of their own and my dad passed she really struggled.. I've seen this play out many times and alot of times ends with fractured relationships

I'd say it's paramount that they have a little something they do that's just them.

I admire them for prioritizing home & family.

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by a quote by Nicole Kosman’s character from the Expats. What do you truly think about women who just want to stay home, tend to the family and are happiest doing this if they can afford to?

I am jealous of them. And of their kids.

Anonymous wrote:Why are we disparaging corporate jobs as devoid of societal value? Your paycheck helps provide for, enrich, and better your family. You (hopefully) pay taxes on your wages, which better society as a whole. Your corporation/organization does or makes something or provides some service to society...just because it might not be the cure to cancer doesn't mean its valueless. And your organization/corporation employs others who need their paychecks to support their family (support staff, janitorial crew, even I guess breadwinner dads, etc.) whom the company would not be able to hire if they were not profitable thanks to all their workers' work. Etc...

Anyways, I don't have one single negative thought about SAHMs (if my job had been less flexible, less WFH, etc., I would most likely be one).

There are so many different ways to be both personally fulfilled and contribute to society as whole.

Agree and I wonder if the stay at home moms and wives are honest with their husbands about how much distain they have when he walks out of the house every day to do his job?

I also disagree that jobs just function as paychecks, otherwise the MLM business would not be so successful. Stay at home moms often want to have some sort of purpose outside of their role as mom and wife and I think that is why those schemes are so seductive. You get a title and you get responsibilities and you set goals… Unfortunately it usually doesn’t work out if you are doing an MLM, but those schemes are tapping into some thing. I also think it’s why a lot of women are so successful at running the PTA and fundraising for school… it’s the same skills that people put in their jobs and you can get a lot of satisfaction whether you’re getting paid for it or whether you’re volunteering.

Anyway, I totally agree with you. I’ve been lucky to have a really flexible and decent paying job and I’m married to someone who has a flexible well paying job as well so we’ve always just been able to make it work. I don’t judge other people for making other decisions because we all have different circumstances so I totally get why it works for some folks to stay home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for them! Hope it works out.

This. But if it were my daughter I would be privately disappointed after spending so much money on sending her to college and then to not work professionally. I could have saved that money in my retirement instead and retired earlier. I do believe that the world needs more women in the workforce, especially in leadership roles and science, to change the status quo for all women.

Life happens. She could have gotten all that education and had an accident or other disability that forced her out of the workplace. The education is formative and beneficial regardless of what you do with it in the years to come.

As for other women in the workforce - only if that’s what they choose to do. It’s all about choices and freedom. You don’t owe other women a career.

It's a nice job if you can get it.
And if it sees you (financially) through retirement.