Anonymous wrote:WOW i feel like I am your daughter. Except I didn't marry that 'well' but we both have to grind like crazy. And live far from my parents.

do you actively give them money? My parents net worth is $15-20m but they dont give us anything and we don't expect anything. But as a result, we have to work like crazy bc life is SO EXPENSIVE now. And the only way to keep earning more is to outwork everyone else. It's just way harder than it used to be.

btw yes it sucks. but it is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter. She grew up in a happy high-resource household and we still talk every day. She was a great student, spent a long time in college earning degrees from good schools, and has a successful career. As she approached age 30, girlfriends introduced her to a nice boy who also earned a few degrees from good schools and has a great career. They married a couple years later. They had one child a couple years after the wedding.

They could work anywhere and make great money, yet for alleged career reasons choose to live in isolation essentially across the country from us (and nowhere his family either). So we barely see her and our one grandchild is raised by strangers at a local day care and part-time nannies. My daughter and her husband’s happiness is eroding but you wouldn’t know that from looking at her perfectly curated social media. She confesses their sex life has become nearly nonexistent. They are workaholics and make great upper middle class money (note: not a mega millions windfall like you read about from young people involved in a tech IPO or something along those lines where they can afford to retire early).

We will be leaving her a comfortable inheritance and I’m sure his parents will leave him similar, so what is even the point of this rat race? They’re unhappy, we’re unhappy (I’m assuming his parents aren’t happy), and their child is raised by strangers. All for what? To chase another rung of status badges and eke out a few more bucks?

I submit this to this forum because everyone is fixated with dating the “right” caliber of partner to “marry well” and the alleged status and happiness that comes with it. Give more mindshare to what “well” truly means.

Anonymous wrote:I'm thinking the couple lives where they do so that OP can't meddle in their lives any more than she's already doing.

Anonymous wrote:This sounds pretty typical for a 30-something couple who both have something like finance/large law firm jobs. It is definitely busy and stressful with a small child. Sometimes it does eventually result in one or both of them taking a somewhat lower paying and lower demand job and/or moving home closer to family. You can for now go visit a lot and drop polite hints that you do not think that would be the end of the world.

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter. She grew up in a happy high-resource household and we still talk every day. She was a great student, spent a long time in college earning degrees from good schools, and has a successful career. As she approached age 30, girlfriends introduced her to a nice boy who also earned a few degrees from good schools and has a great career. They married a couple years later. They had one child a couple years after the wedding.

They could work anywhere and make great money, yet for alleged career reasons choose to live in isolation essentially across the country from us (and nowhere his family either). So we barely see her and our one grandchild is raised by strangers at a local day care and part-time nannies. My daughter and her husband’s happiness is eroding but you wouldn’t know that from looking at her perfectly curated social media. She confesses their sex life has become nearly nonexistent. They are workaholics and make great upper middle class money (note: not a mega millions windfall like you read about from young people involved in a tech IPO or something along those lines where they can afford to retire early).

We will be leaving her a comfortable inheritance and I’m sure his parents will leave him similar, so what is even the point of this rat race? They’re unhappy, we’re unhappy (I’m assuming his parents aren’t happy), and their child is raised by strangers. All for what? To chase another rung of status badges and eke out a few more bucks?

I submit this to this forum because everyone is fixated with dating the “right” caliber of partner to “marry well” and the alleged status and happiness that comes with it. Give more mindshare to what “well” truly means.

Anonymous wrote:I think OP makes a very valid point. People here are obsessed with the rat race, getting their kids into the best colleges etc.

But what is the prize of all this effort, should it pay off?

A job where you work like a dog, every hour that god sends, to pile up money that you can never enjoy, and to find a partner who can do likewise. You can then live a harrassed, miserable life together, sacrificing everything on the altar of prestige, money and status, and never tasting true happiness.