Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 21:04     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of men seem to either truly dislike or fear women. Many in my age range, 40’s, have major insecurities about anything from their job status, net worth, appearance, anything. Many project that stuff onto partners and everyone suffers.

But…..mostly……I agree with many PP’s about many men being toddlers who dream of being the adult child of a more successful or more functional woman.

Last kids’ event I went to, every father sat alone texting while every single woman helped run the event, networked, made magic happen, took care of the kids, and cleaned up. These guys could have cared less. You don’t think the kids see this?

The future is female. Men have to do a heck of a lot more than just earn these days, especially if they have kids.


I’m a woman (and a teacher) and you are going to flog me for this, but the kids don’t really need those events. They don’t. They may even be calmer and happier if half the events went away, or the older kids helped plan them to give them some responsibility.

The men shouldn’t check out, but the “magic” is probably not environmentally friendly and not fun for all the kids involved (especially the introverts), but it is culturally important and can be status elevating. (Networking etc)

Ok- commence flogging!


Not op but if these events are culturally important, how can you say kids don’t really need them? As a teacher I understand you’d be happier if you can coast by doing less events, but seems like you’re contradicting yourself here.


Sorry, but by culturally important, I mean that women can get status by putting these events on, not that they are a cultural necessity or that they are important to our society or even to the kids.

They CAN be important within the family or religion, but they can also quickly take on outsized proportions that aren’t necessary. Also the decorations etc can be detrimental to the environment. There was an article in the post about the environmental toll of Halloween, and that is just one holiday.

Nice little jab there about “coasting”. First hit and interestingly enough it went to the teacher that I am!


So you think it's totally fine for kids to not experience any events at school? Or experience only one or two events you deem "important" to some families or religion? If it's the latter, I do think you wish there were less events to be bothered with at school (which I totally get even as a non-teacher btw).



I think humans survived for a long long time with out streamers and events at school. I think community can be built without as much crap as we use in celebrations. Songs, and simple dances can do amazing things to build community.
I think women have been given the societal role to put on these massive displays of HOLIDAYS thinking they are super important, but they are honestly over the top at this point in our society. I think that if kids are incorporated into the planning of a simple events (putting on an authors tea for their parents, or helping to bake/ make a dish for a pot luck) rather than the parents (moms) doing it all it would be more meaningful to everyone. I think kid made decorations made from recycled materials or that can be reused can be cool to the kids too rather than store bought things. And yes, I think this would be more possible if the parents (moms in particular) and school said we are just doing 2 events a year.

Look, I’m not going to change any of this, but to be mad at men for not participating when the end result of all this fanfare isn’t really helping anyone anyway doesn’t make sense. I started the PTA route when my oldest was in kinder/first (now he is in middle school) and stopped after a year or two because it wasn’t helping my kid or anyone else’s. I stepped back on both PTA crap and holidays at home. I do them, but much lower key. My kids do make a lot of our decorations and they are crappy and lovely at the same time. It isn’t an easy cycle, but how far do we need to take this “for the kids.” I argue the kids are just fine with much much less. I will say I am a child of a European immigrant who moved here with little and we didn’t have huge holiday celebrations when I was young, so that may impact my thoughts as well.

YOu sound like a lovely human and person/teacher. Very thoughtful.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 20:03     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of men seem to either truly dislike or fear women. Many in my age range, 40’s, have major insecurities about anything from their job status, net worth, appearance, anything. Many project that stuff onto partners and everyone suffers.

But…..mostly……I agree with many PP’s about many men being toddlers who dream of being the adult child of a more successful or more functional woman.

Last kids’ event I went to, every father sat alone texting while every single woman helped run the event, networked, made magic happen, took care of the kids, and cleaned up. These guys could have cared less. You don’t think the kids see this?

The future is female. Men have to do a heck of a lot more than just earn these days, especially if they have kids.


I’m a woman (and a teacher) and you are going to flog me for this, but the kids don’t really need those events. They don’t. They may even be calmer and happier if half the events went away, or the older kids helped plan them to give them some responsibility.

The men shouldn’t check out, but the “magic” is probably not environmentally friendly and not fun for all the kids involved (especially the introverts), but it is culturally important and can be status elevating. (Networking etc)

Ok- commence flogging!


Not op but if these events are culturally important, how can you say kids don’t really need them? As a teacher I understand you’d be happier if you can coast by doing less events, but seems like you’re contradicting yourself here.


Sorry, but by culturally important, I mean that women can get status by putting these events on, not that they are a cultural necessity or that they are important to our society or even to the kids.

They CAN be important within the family or religion, but they can also quickly take on outsized proportions that aren’t necessary. Also the decorations etc can be detrimental to the environment. There was an article in the post about the environmental toll of Halloween, and that is just one holiday.

Nice little jab there about “coasting”. First hit and interestingly enough it went to the teacher that I am!


So you think it's totally fine for kids to not experience any events at school? Or experience only one or two events you deem "important" to some families or religion? If it's the latter, I do think you wish there were less events to be bothered with at school (which I totally get even as a non-teacher btw).



I think humans survived for a long long time with out streamers and events at school. I think community can be built without as much crap as we use in celebrations. Songs, and simple dances can do amazing things to build community.
I think women have been given the societal role to put on these massive displays of HOLIDAYS thinking they are super important, but they are honestly over the top at this point in our society. I think that if kids are incorporated into the planning of a simple events (putting on an authors tea for their parents, or helping to bake/ make a dish for a pot luck) rather than the parents (moms) doing it all it would be more meaningful to everyone. I think kid made decorations made from recycled materials or that can be reused can be cool to the kids too rather than store bought things. And yes, I think this would be more possible if the parents (moms in particular) and school said we are just doing 2 events a year.

Look, I’m not going to change any of this, but to be mad at men for not participating when the end result of all this fanfare isn’t really helping anyone anyway doesn’t make sense. I started the PTA route when my oldest was in kinder/first (now he is in middle school) and stopped after a year or two because it wasn’t helping my kid or anyone else’s. I stepped back on both PTA crap and holidays at home. I do them, but much lower key. My kids do make a lot of our decorations and they are crappy and lovely at the same time. It isn’t an easy cycle, but how far do we need to take this “for the kids.” I argue the kids are just fine with much much less. I will say I am a child of a European immigrant who moved here with little and we didn’t have huge holiday celebrations when I was young, so that may impact my thoughts as well.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 19:59     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t think they are very different from us.

Nope. Both tend to be insecure and defensive as H.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 19:56     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
I honestly don’t think they are very different from us.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 19:53     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of men seem to either truly dislike or fear women. Many in my age range, 40’s, have major insecurities about anything from their job status, net worth, appearance, anything. Many project that stuff onto partners and everyone suffers.

But…..mostly……I agree with many PP’s about many men being toddlers who dream of being the adult child of a more successful or more functional woman.

Last kids’ event I went to, every father sat alone texting while every single woman helped run the event, networked, made magic happen, took care of the kids, and cleaned up. These guys could have cared less. You don’t think the kids see this?

The future is female. Men have to do a heck of a lot more than just earn these days, especially if they have kids.


I’m a woman (and a teacher) and you are going to flog me for this, but the kids don’t really need those events. They don’t. They may even be calmer and happier if half the events went away, or the older kids helped plan them to give them some responsibility.

The men shouldn’t check out, but the “magic” is probably not environmentally friendly and not fun for all the kids involved (especially the introverts), but it is culturally important and can be status elevating. (Networking etc)

Ok- commence flogging!


I am a woman and a parent and I totally agree with you. Start with Halloween. I don’t know what’s worse, the plastic crap on people’s lawns, the candy that causes tooth decay, diabetes and obesity, or the obsession with evil, death and darkness.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 19:29     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of men seem to either truly dislike or fear women. Many in my age range, 40’s, have major insecurities about anything from their job status, net worth, appearance, anything. Many project that stuff onto partners and everyone suffers.

But…..mostly……I agree with many PP’s about many men being toddlers who dream of being the adult child of a more successful or more functional woman.

Last kids’ event I went to, every father sat alone texting while every single woman helped run the event, networked, made magic happen, took care of the kids, and cleaned up. These guys could have cared less. You don’t think the kids see this?

The future is female. Men have to do a heck of a lot more than just earn these days, especially if they have kids.


I’m a woman (and a teacher) and you are going to flog me for this, but the kids don’t really need those events. They don’t. They may even be calmer and happier if half the events went away, or the older kids helped plan them to give them some responsibility.

The men shouldn’t check out, but the “magic” is probably not environmentally friendly and not fun for all the kids involved (especially the introverts), but it is culturally important and can be status elevating. (Networking etc)

Ok- commence flogging!


Not op but if these events are culturally important, how can you say kids don’t really need them? As a teacher I understand you’d be happier if you can coast by doing less events, but seems like you’re contradicting yourself here.


Sorry, but by culturally important, I mean that women can get status by putting these events on, not that they are a cultural necessity or that they are important to our society or even to the kids.

They CAN be important within the family or religion, but they can also quickly take on outsized proportions that aren’t necessary. Also the decorations etc can be detrimental to the environment. There was an article in the post about the environmental toll of Halloween, and that is just one holiday.

Nice little jab there about “coasting”. First hit and interestingly enough it went to the teacher that I am!


So you think it's totally fine for kids to not experience any events at school? Or experience only one or two events you deem "important" to some families or religion? If it's the latter, I do think you wish there were less events to be bothered with at school (which I totally get even as a non-teacher btw).
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 19:11     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of men seem to either truly dislike or fear women. Many in my age range, 40’s, have major insecurities about anything from their job status, net worth, appearance, anything. Many project that stuff onto partners and everyone suffers.

But…..mostly……I agree with many PP’s about many men being toddlers who dream of being the adult child of a more successful or more functional woman.

Last kids’ event I went to, every father sat alone texting while every single woman helped run the event, networked, made magic happen, took care of the kids, and cleaned up. These guys could have cared less. You don’t think the kids see this?

The future is female. Men have to do a heck of a lot more than just earn these days, especially if they have kids.


I’m a woman (and a teacher) and you are going to flog me for this, but the kids don’t really need those events. They don’t. They may even be calmer and happier if half the events went away, or the older kids helped plan them to give them some responsibility.

The men shouldn’t check out, but the “magic” is probably not environmentally friendly and not fun for all the kids involved (especially the introverts), but it is culturally important and can be status elevating. (Networking etc)

Ok- commence flogging!


Not op but if these events are culturally important, how can you say kids don’t really need them? As a teacher I understand you’d be happier if you can coast by doing less events, but seems like you’re contradicting yourself here.


Sorry, but by culturally important, I mean that women can get status by putting these events on, not that they are a cultural necessity or that they are important to our society or even to the kids.

They CAN be important within the family or religion, but they can also quickly take on outsized proportions that aren’t necessary. Also the decorations etc can be detrimental to the environment. There was an article in the post about the environmental toll of Halloween, and that is just one holiday.

Nice little jab there about “coasting”. First hit and interestingly enough it went to the teacher that I am!
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 18:56     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of men seem to either truly dislike or fear women. Many in my age range, 40’s, have major insecurities about anything from their job status, net worth, appearance, anything. Many project that stuff onto partners and everyone suffers.

But…..mostly……I agree with many PP’s about many men being toddlers who dream of being the adult child of a more successful or more functional woman.

Last kids’ event I went to, every father sat alone texting while every single woman helped run the event, networked, made magic happen, took care of the kids, and cleaned up. These guys could have cared less. You don’t think the kids see this?

The future is female. Men have to do a heck of a lot more than just earn these days, especially if they have kids.


I’m a woman (and a teacher) and you are going to flog me for this, but the kids don’t really need those events. They don’t. They may even be calmer and happier if half the events went away, or the older kids helped plan them to give them some responsibility.

The men shouldn’t check out, but the “magic” is probably not environmentally friendly and not fun for all the kids involved (especially the introverts), but it is culturally important and can be status elevating. (Networking etc)

Ok- commence flogging!


Not op but if these events are culturally important, how can you say kids don’t really need them? As a teacher I understand you’d be happier if you can coast by doing less events, but seems like you’re contradicting yourself here.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 18:42     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:A lot of men seem to either truly dislike or fear women. Many in my age range, 40’s, have major insecurities about anything from their job status, net worth, appearance, anything. Many project that stuff onto partners and everyone suffers.

But…..mostly……I agree with many PP’s about many men being toddlers who dream of being the adult child of a more successful or more functional woman.

Last kids’ event I went to, every father sat alone texting while every single woman helped run the event, networked, made magic happen, took care of the kids, and cleaned up. These guys could have cared less. You don’t think the kids see this?

The future is female. Men have to do a heck of a lot more than just earn these days, especially if they have kids.


I’m a woman (and a teacher) and you are going to flog me for this, but the kids don’t really need those events. They don’t. They may even be calmer and happier if half the events went away, or the older kids helped plan them to give them some responsibility.

The men shouldn’t check out, but the “magic” is probably not environmentally friendly and not fun for all the kids involved (especially the introverts), but it is culturally important and can be status elevating. (Networking etc)

Ok- commence flogging!
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 18:31     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They think they are entitled to regular sex from their wives, without having to put in any effort. If they don’t get it, they cheat and justify it.


How dare a man expect regular sex from his wife with no hoops to jump through or quid pro quo. Doesn't he know that sex is completely transactional and women only have sex in order to get something else in return?


I was actually referring to effort as - maintain good hygiene and appearance, occasionally tell your wife you love and appreciate her, etc.

So calm down, man.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 18:15     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
A lot of men seem to either truly dislike or fear women. Many in my age range, 40’s, have major insecurities about anything from their job status, net worth, appearance, anything. Many project that stuff onto partners and everyone suffers.

But…..mostly……I agree with many PP’s about many men being toddlers who dream of being the adult child of a more successful or more functional woman.

Last kids’ event I went to, every father sat alone texting while every single woman helped run the event, networked, made magic happen, took care of the kids, and cleaned up. These guys could have cared less. You don’t think the kids see this?

The future is female. Men have to do a heck of a lot more than just earn these days, especially if they have kids.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 18:07     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have learned that I am a “pick me girl” and that I love men. I like how they listen to me, how they make me laugh and help my social anxiety. I like joking around with them and not worrying if I said something wrong because they just don’t care.

I have also learned that I will never get too close to any man except my partner or everyone will be unhappy. It was one of the best lessons I learned as a teenager.

Every man is different and I married an emotionally strong and open man. I appreciate that in him. I don’t plan on leaving him any time soon.


You don’t sound like you’re married


My husband of 16 years would disagree . I’m in midlife-so I’m revisiting my past and making sense of my actions. I’m glad things worked out the way they did.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 15:42     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:I have learned that I am a “pick me girl” and that I love men. I like how they listen to me, how they make me laugh and help my social anxiety. I like joking around with them and not worrying if I said something wrong because they just don’t care.

I have also learned that I will never get too close to any man except my partner or everyone will be unhappy. It was one of the best lessons I learned as a teenager.

Every man is different and I married an emotionally strong and open man. I appreciate that in him. I don’t plan on leaving him any time soon.


You don’t sound like you’re married
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 15:40     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They love sex. The end


+1. They want to be taken care of and told they are great providers. They don’t like criticism. They have fragile egos. They get overwhelmed by drama but enjoy gossip as much as women, maybe more. They like making grand gestures and want to be complemented frequently and acknowledged for contributions.



Not that different from women
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2023 15:39     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:They love sex. The end


+1. They want to be taken care of and told they are great providers. They don’t like criticism. They have fragile egos. They get overwhelmed by drama but enjoy gossip as much as women, maybe more. They like making grand gestures and want to be complemented frequently and acknowledged for contributions.