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Anonymous wrote:I just went to a kid birthday party yesterday at a venue. The whole family was invited. I RSVPed for 4, thinking I would go with my 3 kids. At the last minute, DH got off work early and he and my oldest son went mountain biking, so I only showed up with 3 of us.
I didn’t really think to communicate to the host or apologize.

I don’t think I’m used to this super limited venue.

8 kids seems like an odd number too. It’s very possible that you invited all but 2-3 boys from the class. It’s possible that you were the rude one, OP.

So you’re teaching your child that if something comes up that they’d rather do it’s ok to no show to something you RSVP’d yes for? And then you’re fabricating some totally unsupported scenario in which OP’s kid left out just a couple boys from class.

Yep.
And I still think I’m right on all of it.

Wow. You’re awful. Let’s hope your kids marry someone with greater social skills and consideration for others than their parents had.

I hope that my kids marry someone who wants to hang out with their family if they get off work early, like their dad.

I would honestly be disappointed if my son married someone who would leave him home alone because the rest of the family RSVPed to a child’s birthday party and he was supposed to be at work.

Is a bike ride with dad such a rare occurrence that it’s worth no showing to a party for?

My DH spends hours with our kids every day (eating breakfast, coaching sports, etc.) and we do tons of family stuff on the weekend. So it just wouldn’t even cross our minds that a kid hanging out with dad would amount to some special occasion to cancel plans.

But this seems to be the case for your family.

I was thinking the same thing. If dad gets out early, he could go home and rest. He could have gone to the party.

I can’t imagine any situation where we would cancel plans for Dh getting off work early. If anything, he would join us.

We are so busy that Dh doesn’t get much rest time. He would gladly have rested at home for a few hours. Biking could happen after party, next day or any day???

Pp who wrote that.
I went with two kids and no DH. My teenager was not missed at the elementary schooler’s birthday party. It was fine.

And if the issue is that I didn’t come with the exact number of people I RSVPed for (3 people instead of 4), then how would bringing an extra person (DH) have helped?

Was it a venue party?

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is rude. Parents in general are so rude nowadays. Some don’t RSVP and show up, so show up late because they are stacking parties. It’s really sad parents want their kids to do everything nowadays and then complain about how busy they are.

I’ve always had parties at home. If my space is small, only invite few, like 2. Parents spending hundreds on a venue is crazy. Parents are spending $25-50 per kids at some venues. That’s why when you get burned, it hurts so much more. Don’t spend all this for kids. They don’t care. They go painting, trampoline, mini golf so much, your party is not that special. They are going every week. Just don’t spend the money. They have just as much fun just playing with their friends and having pizza and cake. When I have smaller parties, i also get nicer food and have parents stay with some adult beverages. And stop ot with the goody bags. Kids don’t care. They just want to hang with their friends.

Stop blaming the party planners. It's not the money, it's the flakiness and unreiiability. You would notice if 1 of your 2 guests didn't bother to show up. And no, parents don't want to hang out at your 12 yr old's birthday party. As you said, the kids want to hang out they don't want their parents hovering.

Not PP, but who said the were 12 year olds? Where did you read that? Yes, parents don’t hang out at 12 year old parties. Only for 8 and under crowd. Why all the rage! Chill. You a meanie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is rude. Parents in general are so rude nowadays. Some don’t RSVP and show up, so show up late because they are stacking parties. It’s really sad parents want their kids to do everything nowadays and then complain about how busy they are.

I’ve always had parties at home. If my space is small, only invite few, like 2. Parents spending hundreds on a venue is crazy. Parents are spending $25-50 per kids at some venues. That’s why when you get burned, it hurts so much more. Don’t spend all this for kids. They don’t care. They go painting, trampoline, mini golf so much, your party is not that special. They are going every week. Just don’t spend the money. They have just as much fun just playing with their friends and having pizza and cake. When I have smaller parties, i also get nicer food and have parents stay with some adult beverages. And stop ot with the goody bags. Kids don’t care. They just want to hang with their friends.

Stop blaming the party planners. It's not the money, it's the flakiness and unreiiability. You would notice if 1 of your 2 guests didn't bother to show up. And no, parents don't want to hang out at your 12 yr old's birthday party. As you said, the kids want to hang out they don't want their parents hovering.

Not PP, but who said the were 12 year olds? Where did you read that? Yes, parents don’t hang out at 12 year old parties. Only for 8 and under crowd. Why all the rage! Chill. You a meanie.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just went to a kid birthday party yesterday at a venue. The whole family was invited. I RSVPed for 4, thinking I would go with my 3 kids. At the last minute, DH got off work early and he and my oldest son went mountain biking, so I only showed up with 3 of us.
I didn’t really think to communicate to the host or apologize.

I don’t think I’m used to this super limited venue.

8 kids seems like an odd number too. It’s very possible that you invited all but 2-3 boys from the class. It’s possible that you were the rude one, OP.

So you’re teaching your child that if something comes up that they’d rather do it’s ok to no show to something you RSVP’d yes for? And then you’re fabricating some totally unsupported scenario in which OP’s kid left out just a couple boys from class.

Yep.
And I still think I’m right on all of it.

Wow. You’re awful. Let’s hope your kids marry someone with greater social skills and consideration for others than their parents had.

I hope that my kids marry someone who wants to hang out with their family if they get off work early, like their dad.

I would honestly be disappointed if my son married someone who would leave him home alone because the rest of the family RSVPed to a child’s birthday party and he was supposed to be at work.

Is a bike ride with dad such a rare occurrence that it’s worth no showing to a party for?

My DH spends hours with our kids every day (eating breakfast, coaching sports, etc.) and we do tons of family stuff on the weekend. So it just wouldn’t even cross our minds that a kid hanging out with dad would amount to some special occasion to cancel plans.

But this seems to be the case for your family.

I was thinking the same thing. If dad gets out early, he could go home and rest. He could have gone to the party.

I can’t imagine any situation where we would cancel plans for Dh getting off work early. If anything, he would join us.

We are so busy that Dh doesn’t get much rest time. He would gladly have rested at home for a few hours. Biking could happen after party, next day or any day???

Pp who wrote that.
I went with two kids and no DH. My teenager was not missed at the elementary schooler’s birthday party. It was fine.

And if the issue is that I didn’t come with the exact number of people I RSVPed for (3 people instead of 4), then how would bringing an extra person (DH) have helped?

Was it a venue party?

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is rude. Parents in general are so rude nowadays. Some don’t RSVP and show up, so show up late because they are stacking parties. It’s really sad parents want their kids to do everything nowadays and then complain about how busy they are.

I’ve always had parties at home. If my space is small, only invite few, like 2. Parents spending hundreds on a venue is crazy. Parents are spending $25-50 per kids at some venues. That’s why when you get burned, it hurts so much more. Don’t spend all this for kids. They don’t care. They go painting, trampoline, mini golf so much, your party is not that special. They are going every week. Just don’t spend the money. They have just as much fun just playing with their friends and having pizza and cake. When I have smaller parties, i also get nicer food and have parents stay with some adult beverages. And stop ot with the goody bags. Kids don’t care. They just want to hang with their friends.

Stop blaming the party planners. It's not the money, it's the flakiness and unreiiability. You would notice if 1 of your 2 guests didn't bother to show up. And no, parents don't want to hang out at your 12 yr old's birthday party. As you said, the kids want to hang out they don't want their parents hovering.

OP seemed particularly annoyed by the amount spent on the kid who no-showed. Having a less expensive party would indeed solve that problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is rude. Parents in general are so rude nowadays. Some don’t RSVP and show up, so show up late because they are stacking parties. It’s really sad parents want their kids to do everything nowadays and then complain about how busy they are.

I’ve always had parties at home. If my space is small, only invite few, like 2. Parents spending hundreds on a venue is crazy. Parents are spending $25-50 per kids at some venues. That’s why when you get burned, it hurts so much more. Don’t spend all this for kids. They don’t care. They go painting, trampoline, mini golf so much, your party is not that special. They are going every week. Just don’t spend the money. They have just as much fun just playing with their friends and having pizza and cake. When I have smaller parties, i also get nicer food and have parents stay with some adult beverages. And stop ot with the goody bags. Kids don’t care. They just want to hang with their friends.

Stop blaming the party planners. It's not the money, it's the flakiness and unreiiability. You would notice if 1 of your 2 guests didn't bother to show up. And no, parents don't want to hang out at your 12 yr old's birthday party. As you said, the kids want to hang out they don't want their parents hovering.

OP seemed particularly annoyed by the amount spent on the kid who no-showed. Having a less expensive party would indeed solve that problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is rude. Parents in general are so rude nowadays. Some don’t RSVP and show up, so show up late because they are stacking parties. It’s really sad parents want their kids to do everything nowadays and then complain about how busy they are.

I’ve always had parties at home. If my space is small, only invite few, like 2. Parents spending hundreds on a venue is crazy. Parents are spending $25-50 per kids at some venues. That’s why when you get burned, it hurts so much more. Don’t spend all this for kids. They don’t care. They go painting, trampoline, mini golf so much, your party is not that special. They are going every week. Just don’t spend the money. They have just as much fun just playing with their friends and having pizza and cake. When I have smaller parties, i also get nicer food and have parents stay with some adult beverages. And stop ot with the goody bags. Kids don’t care. They just want to hang with their friends.

Stop blaming the party planners. It's not the money, it's the flakiness and unreiiability. You would notice if 1 of your 2 guests didn't bother to show up. And no, parents don't want to hang out at your 12 yr old's birthday party. As you said, the kids want to hang out they don't want their parents hovering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is rude. Parents in general are so rude nowadays. Some don’t RSVP and show up, so show up late because they are stacking parties. It’s really sad parents want their kids to do everything nowadays and then complain about how busy they are.

I’ve always had parties at home. If my space is small, only invite few, like 2. Parents spending hundreds on a venue is crazy. Parents are spending $25-50 per kids at some venues. That’s why when you get burned, it hurts so much more. Don’t spend all this for kids. They don’t care. They go painting, trampoline, mini golf so much, your party is not that special. They are going every week. Just don’t spend the money. They have just as much fun just playing with their friends and having pizza and cake. When I have smaller parties, i also get nicer food and have parents stay with some adult beverages. And stop ot with the goody bags. Kids don’t care. They just want to hang with their friends.

Stop blaming the party planners. It's not the money, it's the flakiness and unreiiability. You would notice if 1 of your 2 guests didn't bother to show up. And no, parents don't want to hang out at your 12 yr old's birthday party. As you said, the kids want to hang out they don't want their parents hovering.

Anonymous wrote:Hello! It's Emily Post-It Note! I am dropping in to help you all with basic etiquette!

1. It is bad manners to simply not show up at a party to which you have RSVP'd yes. This is always true, but especially at a venue, where anyone with a modicum of sense knows that it requires a deposit, enforces a guest-list limit, and so on.

2. Unless your family has suddenly evaporated into thin air or truly has experienced a rare catastrophe, chances are, you have access to a telephone. If it is apparent you'll be unable to make it, a simple text is proper: "So sorry. Larlo woke up with a fever. I'm sorry for the late cancellation."

3. Those who are saying "just get over it" seem to believe that the OP is wringing their hands. No: It simply seems to be a case of mild annoyance, which is highly justified, as this was poor etiquette.

4. Consider the behavior that you model for your child when simply blowing off things willy-nilly: Other people's time and money is not valuable; showing up and following through don't matter; and it's perfectly fine to be a scatty and disorganized mess.

All best,
Emily Post It Note

Anonymous wrote:This is rude. Parents in general are so rude nowadays. Some don’t RSVP and show up, so show up late because they are stacking parties. It’s really sad parents want their kids to do everything nowadays and then complain about how busy they are.

I’ve always had parties at home. If my space is small, only invite few, like 2. Parents spending hundreds on a venue is crazy. Parents are spending $25-50 per kids at some venues. That’s why when you get burned, it hurts so much more. Don’t spend all this for kids. They don’t care. They go painting, trampoline, mini golf so much, your party is not that special. They are going every week. Just don’t spend the money. They have just as much fun just playing with their friends and having pizza and cake. When I have smaller parties, i also get nicer food and have parents stay with some adult beverages. And stop ot with the goody bags. Kids don’t care. They just want to hang with their friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rude or not, no-shows at kids’ parties are really common. Rather than not invite the one kid again, I’d rethink hosting a type of party where one no-show is a big deal. It will be someone else next time.

Not in my experience. I have 2 kids and have hosted at least 10 kid bday parties. We have never had someone who RSVPd yes just not show up w/ no explanation. Never. We've had people who couldn't come at the last minute but they have always texted or called to let us know before the party. Maybe your kids' friends' parents are just rude?

DP but yes, people are rude. Is that news? When you're getting to know people early in the school days the only commonality you have with some of these people is your kids are in the same classroom. So you try to be inclusive and get to know them. Then they no show and you realize they're NQOSPD.

Obviously. What is your point, though? That we should all just accept that some people are rude and plan our lives around that? No thanks. I'll just not involve rude people in my life. If they no showed once, I wouldn't invite them back. It doesn't mean I have to change the type of party my kid wants to have to accommodate their rude friends' parents.