The time to get a line of credit on your house is when you are still employed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people suggesting side gigs — how much are you thinking OP will clear with these gigs? Not a lot. She needs $20k. Earning $1k per month isn’t going to make much of a dent in that.

$1k per month can cover food and utilities.

Sell stuff to come up with daycare payments for at least a month or two.

Didn't they already sell the second car? When folks recommend to sell stuff I wonder what they have lying around the house that will bring in anything worthwhile.

Anonymous wrote:To all the people suggesting side gigs — how much are you thinking OP will clear with these gigs? Not a lot. She needs $20k. Earning $1k per month isn’t going to make much of a dent in that.

$1k per month can cover food and utilities.

Sell stuff to come up with daycare payments for at least a month or two.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are so off topic. OP's kids are small and don't have mental health issues. She was just living to the max and it bit her in the a$$.

"Small" is subjective. OP never said how old they are. I know people that call 13 year olds "little boys" and 22 year old women "young girls."

They are in daycare.

If OP can't make her mortgage payment, there's no way she'd be approved for a HELOC. If someone's income can't handle their existing debt, they're not creditworthy to take on additional debt.

OP, I would continue selling things to come up with some cash to tide you over.

Have your husband contact payroll and temporarily stop any extra withholdings or 401k contributions, if any, from his paycheck- make sure correct taxes are being taken out etc. If you are unemployed for a few months presumably together you will be paying less in taxes so maybe there can be some changes.

Increase his cash flow and use his paycheck to cover the mortgage.

Keep kids in daycare right now and sell things to come up with enough cash for your bare minimum .. simple meals, utilities and gas for the car. Bare bones budget under $1000 a month. You cover that by selling what you can. If you can't cover it, use a credit card but keep it to the absolute minimum... credit card is for absolutely necessary medical expenses and anything you need that will help you get a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't the clear answer a hardship withdraw from OP's 401k?

I know OP will have to deal with the taxes/penalty, but she needs money and she needs it now. She could be in significant, additional debt by the time a HELOC comes through and credit cards have a way of haunting you for years. A 401k loan would be much preferable to a withdraw but think OP already said not an option. And at least with a withdraw, she won't have to find a way to pay it back while digging out of her other debts.

I'm sorry for what you're going through, OP. It doesn't feel great, I know.

We hit some hard times ourselves that took awhile to recover from. We were in our mid-30s with student loans and pre-k tuition (no public option) for two kiddos. My husband's firm split unexpectedly, which disrupted our income significantly for several months, literally weeks after we had just closed on a house. I felt like an idiot because we had extended ourselves, though within reason/making reasonable risks, and it just...all blew up at once. I remember when the couch I had ordered arrived (I had picked out a performance fabric that was non-returnable) before things fell apart--I threw up.

We had to take out a 401k loan and also withdraw a portion of contributions from our Roth IRA. We were able to avoid any hardship withdraws but that would have been next up. Just is what it is.

Unless OP is in her late 50s, there is time to make up the withdraw over the next twenty years.

This is dumb. Sell your house OP. This isn’t 2008 and you risk foreclosure, you’re very lucky to have a very easy option to collect cash and downsize your life completely scot free. This is not a hard decision.

There aren't good options here, only options that hopefully won't screw over OP and her family. It would be a huge upheaval to move her family in this manner, especially for her kids, when there is another option for short-term cash flow. Sell the house as a last resort, not first one.

Sell the house if the work OP has reason to believe is coming doesn't pan out by early 2024--she'd be able to both refresh their retirement while downsizing, if her home really has appreciated as much as she believes--but take the (quite small hit) to retirement savings first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are so off topic. OP's kids are small and don't have mental health issues. She was just living to the max and it bit her in the a$$.

Top of page 3, OP talks about her kids having special needs. Whether that be mental health or physical, you’re splitting hairs in an attempt to bash her.

This. Look, I'm sure OP has regrets with the mortgage but that's not helpful now. But, it could be a helpful life lesson for the rest of us to be as conservative as possible because you never know what life will throw at you. OP, I hope some previous suggestions helped and that you find a new job soon. But I'd also be prepared for it taking longer than you think- my friend ended up being unemployed for a year when they were laid off. In their case they only had one in daycare but were hesitant to give up their spot because it's hard to get back. So they pushed through and managed to cover mortgage, bills, and daycare on her DH's salary but there was very little left after that and they definitely had racked up credit card debt when it was all said and done.

Their house price was 800k on a HHI that was at least 250k, likely more. It's just worth 1.5m now. I doubt OP is regretting it. They just have a temporary cash crunch due to layoff plus other circumstances. No need to catastrophize.

$800k in a very low cost of living area, plus they've put additional money into it in renovations. It sounds very extravagant, TBH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are so off topic. OP's kids are small and don't have mental health issues. She was just living to the max and it bit her in the a$$.

Top of page 3, OP talks about her kids having special needs. Whether that be mental health or physical, you’re splitting hairs in an attempt to bash her.

The potential for unexpected medial or home expenses is a great reason not to overextend on the house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are so off topic. OP's kids are small and don't have mental health issues. She was just living to the max and it bit her in the a$$.

Top of page 3, OP talks about her kids having special needs. Whether that be mental health or physical, you’re splitting hairs in an attempt to bash her.

This. Look, I'm sure OP has regrets with the mortgage but that's not helpful now. But, it could be a helpful life lesson for the rest of us to be as conservative as possible because you never know what life will throw at you. OP, I hope some previous suggestions helped and that you find a new job soon. But I'd also be prepared for it taking longer than you think- my friend ended up being unemployed for a year when they were laid off. In their case they only had one in daycare but were hesitant to give up their spot because it's hard to get back. So they pushed through and managed to cover mortgage, bills, and daycare on her DH's salary but there was very little left after that and they definitely had racked up credit card debt when it was all said and done.

Their house price was 800k on a HHI that was at least 250k, likely more. It's just worth 1.5m now. I doubt OP is regretting it. They just have a temporary cash crunch due to layoff plus other circumstances. No need to catastrophize.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are so off topic. OP's kids are small and don't have mental health issues. She was just living to the max and it bit her in the a$$.

Top of page 3, OP talks about her kids having special needs. Whether that be mental health or physical, you’re splitting hairs in an attempt to bash her.

This. Look, I'm sure OP has regrets with the mortgage but that's not helpful now. But, it could be a helpful life lesson for the rest of us to be as conservative as possible because you never know what life will throw at you. OP, I hope some previous suggestions helped and that you find a new job soon. But I'd also be prepared for it taking longer than you think- my friend ended up being unemployed for a year when they were laid off. In their case they only had one in daycare but were hesitant to give up their spot because it's hard to get back. So they pushed through and managed to cover mortgage, bills, and daycare on her DH's salary but there was very little left after that and they definitely had racked up credit card debt when it was all said and done.

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are so off topic. OP's kids are small and don't have mental health issues. She was just living to the max and it bit her in the a$$.

Top of page 3, OP talks about her kids having special needs. Whether that be mental health or physical, you’re splitting hairs in an attempt to bash her.

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are so off topic. OP's kids are small and don't have mental health issues. She was just living to the max and it bit her in the a$$.

"Small" is subjective. OP never said how old they are. I know people that call 13 year olds "little boys" and 22 year old women "young girls."

Y'all are so off topic. OP's kids are small and don't have mental health issues. She was just living to the max and it bit her in the a$$.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How did medical bills eat up your savings? You don’t have health insurance? OOP maximums are usually under $20k. [/quote]

OOP maximums assume that you see in-network doctors. For mental health services, it is nigh impossible to find someone who accepts insurance. I did see a lovely doctor who took BCBS, but she passed away. Try to get in as a new patient in DC or metro-accessible burbs and you’ll find psychiatrists, psychologists and the like normally charge about $250 per hour. If I’m lucky, Blue Cross Blue Shield Federal reimburses us at the rate of $81 per visit, after deductible, yada yada. So for example, two visits per week for two family members = @ $250 * 2 = $500 * 52 = $26K out of pocket with perhaps 1/2 of the sessions (26 each) reimbursed at $81.12 = $2109.12 x 2 = $4218.24 reimbursement so about $21,750 out of pocket plus the costs of any additional therapies, medications, and the time and expense to visit the health practitioners. Now, you can deduct any about over 7.5% from tax. We usually do about $30k a year in unreimbursed medical. So if you assume income of $160k, you can deduct any unreimbursed medical expenses over $12k per year. So we end up being able to deduct $18k, which makes a difference but comes no where close to reimbursing us for our expenses. [/quote]

Regular counseling sessions over the course of an entire year are not what unexpectedly made OP broke. She’s either lying about medical costs or doesn’t know how to budget which sounds pretty problematic when you have that much money. More money, more problems. [/quote]

I’m the person posting about the lack of mental health parity and how easy it is to run up $30K per year in OoP spending when you have two special needs family members. I am not the OP. [/quote]

There are therapists and psychiatrists that take insurance if you look hard enough or are flexible. OP isn't saying its mental health.[/quote]

DP. OP also isn’t in this area, we have no idea how hard it is in her area to find whatever in network specialist they need (while we’re on mental health, the lack of available mental health professionals in some area that take insurance, my friend ended up at the emergency room because she could not find anyone with openings).