OP: your husband is lucky to have you, and had a slow developing issue that caused him pain and awareness before sudden death.

My friend's husband died yesterday, just dropped to the ground in the mid of putting something in his car. They are performing an autopsy to find out what is the cause. For years, my friend, his parents were begging him to see a doctor because he was predisposed to hypertension, and was overweight. They even told him that he was irresponsible to his family. He resisted them all. Now he is getting an autopsy instead.

Anonymous wrote:So, to close this thread in short. Not cancer, not Crohn's. Rare silent ruptured appendix that created fistula between colon and bladder. SMH. This could have been dealt with years ago and not exacerbated interpersonal and other issues.

Oh wow.

Was the pain the cause of the anorexia?

Belatedly catching up on this thread. OP, what a relief. I’m sorry you all went though this. How is he doing now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, to close this thread in short. Not cancer, not Crohn's. Rare silent ruptured appendix that created fistula between colon and bladder. SMH. This could have been dealt with years ago and not exacerbated interpersonal and other issues.

I have followed this thread and I am glad that you updated and finally have your answer. I'm sure it's been hell for both of you. I hope he's got some physical relief and that your family is moving forward.

Thank you. I wanted to post in case anyone found themselves in a similar situation — either as the spouse/SO or the patient. DH is extremely lucky he didn’t die or have other catastrophic issues by delaying getting checked out. Amazingly, he’s now expected to fully recover and be able to return to a normal diet once his insides heal.

Dietician says the process to gain weight will be twice as long as it was to lose it (just like those trying to lose weight will usually take twice as long as it took to gain it). However just with IV feeding (TPN) we can see him slowly filling into his skin. Liquid diet started yesterday.

Awesome update. My DH had a loosely similar situation and will his weight gain the spark came back in his eyes and we were laughing again. It clicked for me that the physical symptoms were contributing to psychological ones (depression that lifted upon nutrition making it to his body) that were contributing to interpersonal ones. I hope for the same improvements for you. I'll check this thread if you post about the relationship after effects.

OK. I will update again in a couple weeks. While I had an optimistic outlook given what I was told ans had read and had observed with him, but I was also prepared for cancer, Crohn’s or death. Not sure if I was ready to care for cancer patient but at least willing to accept that might be a possibility.

He’s a PITA when he’s sick. In hospital until yesterday, he was preparing himself to never being able to do anything again and dying soon after. I’m not going to accept dragging out his need for assistance longer than necessary. I don’t have an update on recovery time but pre-op the estimate was 2-3 weeks before returning to work post-op though obviously no heavy lifting for a while.

At this point, he should be aware I am and have been looking out for him.

Anonymous wrote:So, to close this thread in short. Not cancer, not Crohn's. Rare silent ruptured appendix that created fistula between colon and bladder. SMH. This could have been dealt with years ago and not exacerbated interpersonal and other issues.

Thanks for the update. I'm glad it's finally being addressed. I wish you and your family all the best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, to close this thread in short. Not cancer, not Crohn's. Rare silent ruptured appendix that created fistula between colon and bladder. SMH. This could have been dealt with years ago and not exacerbated interpersonal and other issues.

I have followed this thread and I am glad that you updated and finally have your answer. I'm sure it's been hell for both of you. I hope he's got some physical relief and that your family is moving forward.

Thank you. I wanted to post in case anyone found themselves in a similar situation — either as the spouse/SO or the patient. DH is extremely lucky he didn’t die or have other catastrophic issues by delaying getting checked out. Amazingly, he’s now expected to fully recover and be able to return to a normal diet once his insides heal.

Dietician says the process to gain weight will be twice as long as it was to lose it (just like those trying to lose weight will usually take twice as long as it took to gain it). However just with IV feeding (TPN) we can see him slowly filling into his skin. Liquid diet started yesterday.

Awesome update. My DH had a loosely similar situation and will his weight gain the spark came back in his eyes and we were laughing again. It clicked for me that the physical symptoms were contributing to psychological ones (depression that lifted upon nutrition making it to his body) that were contributing to interpersonal ones. I hope for the same improvements for you. I'll check this thread if you post about the relationship after effects.

Anonymous wrote:It’s very good news OP in that it’s probably the least serious of the many possibilities floated but…wow…I hope this has made your spouse come to terms with what ignoring his health and everyone’s begging him to see a doctor has cost all of you. I know I’d be both relieved and very angry.

That sums up exactly how I feel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, to close this thread in short. Not cancer, not Crohn's. Rare silent ruptured appendix that created fistula between colon and bladder. SMH. This could have been dealt with years ago and not exacerbated interpersonal and other issues.

I have followed this thread and I am glad that you updated and finally have your answer. I'm sure it's been hell for both of you. I hope he's got some physical relief and that your family is moving forward.

Thank you. I wanted to post in case anyone found themselves in a similar situation — either as the spouse/SO or the patient. DH is extremely lucky he didn’t die or have other catastrophic issues by delaying getting checked out. Amazingly, he’s now expected to fully recover and be able to return to a normal diet once his insides heal.

Dietician says the process to gain weight will be twice as long as it was to lose it (just like those trying to lose weight will usually take twice as long as it took to gain it). However just with IV feeding (TPN) we can see him slowly filling into his skin. Liquid diet started yesterday.

It’s very good news OP in that it’s probably the least serious of the many possibilities floated but…wow…I hope this has made your spouse come to terms with what ignoring his health and everyone’s begging him to see a doctor has cost all of you. I know I’d be both relieved and very angry.