^ you are a different type of person. Arrogant narc types think they will never get caught so they also will never have to do marriage repair. They delude themselves nobody is getting hurt because nobody knows. If you are let that dysfunctional or devoid of empathy you can’t fathom that, but it’s most cheaters.

They compartmentalize like they learned from childhood trauma/dysfunctional homes.

I’ve posted a lot in this thread
- mostly saying as a guy I would never cheat because of my own stubbornness, rigid moral code, and integrity.

The summary feedback I received was that was because I am poor and ugly, or something.

Then I read the threads about cheating and I realized huge reasons for my lack of cheating are that 1. I don’t want to destroy my marriage, 2. I want to be an unimpeachable role model to my kids, and 3. I have absolutely no interest in ever doing the hard work of repairing a broken marriage with counseling, talking about it, and all that time and BS. I’d divorce before I did all that crap. I don’t want to divorce, so therefore the best way to avoid divorce is not to cheat.

So, I think the summary is: ugly or attractive, rich or poor.. if you respect your wife and your family and you don’t want to obliterate your marriage, you don’t cheat. If you don’t value those things, you might cheat if you have the opportunity.

Rousseau wrote that the criminal consents to punishment by committing the crime.. they know ahead of time that they’re breaking the law and breaking the law has consequences. To me, if I cheat, it means I am consenting to the consequences of a broken marriage and letting my kids down. That will simply never happen.

No not at all.

95% of my friends have never cheated on their wives.

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the male.

I've known fighter pilots who are really good looking and they are faithful men who love their families. I have also known mechanics who have cheated on their wives.

I've worked with SOF guys who not only are fit and good looking, but beasts of a man and are super faithful to their beautiful wives....I have also worked with admin clerks who banged women every time they were on TDY. In the civilian world I have seen the same.

Not all men cheat, even ones that are high-value and have lots of money are faithful when they are married to a loving wife.

Oh just stop with your last line. PLENTY of “loving wives” are cheated on. Stop blaming the women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I count myself as a husband who has never cheated, but in my case the opportunity has never presented itself. I don't travel for business or do anything else that would put me in a situation that allows cheating. If a woman threw herself at me, I like to think I'd turn her down...but in 17 years of marriage this has never happened.

I’m the PP married 28 years and would never dream of cheating.

Geez… I would have been humble and not put myself in the “good looking” category, but maybe I am. I’ve had more women practically throw themselves at me than I can count. Most recently in line at Shake Shack!

It’s cute but I go home to my living, hyper-orgasmic high school sweetheart.

You must be more attractive than you think. I’m not PP but unlike him I travel a lot for work and am around women plenty, often unfamiliar ones. I’ve never ever had a woman do anything remotely like throw herself at me, or really even flirt. I’m average-looking at best.

Woman here. I’m betting the previous (above you) PP thinks every woman who talks to him is flirting with him.

Depends on the male.

I've known fighter pilots who are really good looking and they are faithful men who love their families. I have also known mechanics who have cheated on their wives.

I've worked with SOF guys who not only are fit and good looking, but beasts of a man and are super faithful to their beautiful wives....I have also worked with admin clerks who banged women every time they were on TDY. In the civilian world I have seen the same.

Not all men cheat, even ones that are high-value and have lots of money are faithful when they are married to a loving wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I count myself as a husband who has never cheated, but in my case the opportunity has never presented itself. I don't travel for business or do anything else that would put me in a situation that allows cheating. If a woman threw herself at me, I like to think I'd turn her down...but in 17 years of marriage this has never happened.

I’m the PP married 28 years and would never dream of cheating.

Geez… I would have been humble and not put myself in the “good looking” category, but maybe I am. I’ve had more women practically throw themselves at me than I can count. Most recently in line at Shake Shack!

It’s cute but I go home to my living, hyper-orgasmic high school sweetheart.

You must be more attractive than you think. I’m not PP but unlike him I travel a lot for work and am around women plenty, often unfamiliar ones. I’ve never ever had a woman do anything remotely like throw herself at me, or really even flirt. I’m average-looking at best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was married to one of the few upstanding, loyal men who wouldn't cheat. Also, on a practical level, he was too lazy to plan a date for me, much less woo a second woman.

Turns out he was having anonymous hookups with men.

So, yeah, that pretty much ruined my faith in men (who are good looking enough to have opportunities).

Same thing happened to me. Now I feel like any guy can cheat no matter what they say they are like.

This is true. Also any woman can cheat. Those of you who think not “people with integrity” or “cheaters are born evil” or whatever other black and white, good vs evil thinking you’ve got going on are the ones who will fare worse when life happens to you.

Give me a break. It’s not “good vs evil”. It’s honesty, truth, loyalty. It’s not doing things you know will hurt others. Ultimately, those of us that practice those things are not goin to “fare worse”. We all come out of it much better than the liars and cheats.

What he means is that we are blindsighted more easily. Which is true, but I would say that it also means that we are more wiling to set up limits verses people who go along to get along even though they hate the cheating and let it eat them slowly.

You mean what “she” means. Thus board is filled with OW/APs and most of them are married too.

Women are cheating more than men now.

Anonymous wrote:
I count myself as a husband who has never cheated, but in my case the opportunity has never presented itself. I don't travel for business or do anything else that would put me in a situation that allows cheating. If a woman threw herself at me, I like to think I'd turn her down...but in 17 years of marriage this has never happened.

I’m the PP married 28 years and would never dream of cheating.

Geez… I would have been humble and not put myself in the “good looking” category, but maybe I am. I’ve had more women practically throw themselves at me than I can count. Most recently in line at Shake Shack!

It’s cute but I go home to my living, hyper-orgasmic high school sweetheart.

they're cheating with someone..do all women cheat? my AP did

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was married to one of the few upstanding, loyal men who wouldn't cheat. Also, on a practical level, he was too lazy to plan a date for me, much less woo a second woman.

Turns out he was having anonymous hookups with men.

So, yeah, that pretty much ruined my faith in men (who are good looking enough to have opportunities).

Same thing happened to me. Now I feel like any guy can cheat no matter what they say they are like.

I count myself as a husband who has never cheated, but in my case the opportunity has never presented itself. I don't travel for business or do anything else that would put me in a situation that allows cheating. If a woman threw herself at me, I like to think I'd turn her down...but in 17 years of marriage this has never happened.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was married to one of the few upstanding, loyal men who wouldn't cheat. Also, on a practical level, he was too lazy to plan a date for me, much less woo a second woman.

Turns out he was having anonymous hookups with men.

So, yeah, that pretty much ruined my faith in men (who are good looking enough to have opportunities).

Same thing happened to me. Now I feel like any guy can cheat no matter what they say they are like.

This is true. Also any woman can cheat. Those of you who think not “people with integrity” or “cheaters are born evil” or whatever other black and white, good vs evil thinking you’ve got going on are the ones who will fare worse when life happens to you.

Give me a break. It’s not “good vs evil”. It’s honesty, truth, loyalty. It’s not doing things you know will hurt others. Ultimately, those of us that practice those things are not goin to “fare worse”. We all come out of it much better than the liars and cheats.

You are still human. You should know by now what all humans are capable of, even “honest, truthful, and loyal” ones.
There are not good people and liars. We are all human and we all have flaws and weaknesses that we can succumb to under the right conditions. Neither you nor I are better than anyone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was married to one of the few upstanding, loyal men who wouldn't cheat. Also, on a practical level, he was too lazy to plan a date for me, much less woo a second woman.

Turns out he was having anonymous hookups with men.

So, yeah, that pretty much ruined my faith in men (who are good looking enough to have opportunities).

Same thing happened to me. Now I feel like any guy can cheat no matter what they say they are like.

This is true. Also any woman can cheat. Those of you who think not “people with integrity” or “cheaters are born evil” or whatever other black and white, good vs evil thinking you’ve got going on are the ones who will fare worse when life happens to you.

Give me a break. It’s not “good vs evil”. It’s honesty, truth, loyalty. It’s not doing things you know will hurt others. Ultimately, those of us that practice those things are not goin to “fare worse”. We all come out of it much better than the liars and cheats.

What he means is that we are blindsighted more easily. Which is true, but I would say that it also means that we are more wiling to set up limits verses people who go along to get along even though they hate the cheating and let it eat them slowly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was married to one of the few upstanding, loyal men who wouldn't cheat. Also, on a practical level, he was too lazy to plan a date for me, much less woo a second woman.

Turns out he was having anonymous hookups with men.

So, yeah, that pretty much ruined my faith in men (who are good looking enough to have opportunities).

Same thing happened to me. Now I feel like any guy can cheat no matter what they say they are like.

This is true. Also any woman can cheat. Those of you who think not “people with integrity” or “cheaters are born evil” or whatever other black and white, good vs evil thinking you’ve got going on are the ones who will fare worse when life happens to you.

Give me a break. It’s not “good vs evil”. It’s honesty, truth, loyalty. It’s not doing things you know will hurt others. Ultimately, those of us that practice those things are not goin to “fare worse”. We all come out of it much better than the liars and cheats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was married to one of the few upstanding, loyal men who wouldn't cheat. Also, on a practical level, he was too lazy to plan a date for me, much less woo a second woman.

Turns out he was having anonymous hookups with men.

So, yeah, that pretty much ruined my faith in men (who are good looking enough to have opportunities).

Same thing happened to me. Now I feel like any guy can cheat no matter what they say they are like.

This is true. Also any woman can cheat. Those of you who think not “people with integrity” or “cheaters are born evil” or whatever other black and white, good vs evil thinking you’ve got going on are the ones who will fare worse when life happens to you.