Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 11:52     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.


How cute you are. Nice that it's so easy for you.

I hated teacher appreciation week. I volunteered a lot and saw several teachers be snarky about the gifts they got in front of me. The worst were the request for specific items for each day. Tuesday is purple flower day. Thursday is scented candle day... The teachers do not want this junk but plenty of them get upset if they don't get the junk. It's ridiculous.

Also to the people bragging about being room parents while working full time, I never saw that. It was always the sahms and they usually had a bit of a controlling personality. I got asked several times to be room mom because the teachers were comfortable with me.


Hmm, that's on you that you think the PP and I were "bragging." Weird. Anyway, the majority of room parents I've dealt with over the last six years in both my kids' classes have worked full-time. Obviously your situation may be different, but the whole point of the response was to stop the ridiculous comments that room parents are always SAHMs who like giving people busy work. That's completely untrue at the two schools my kids have been at.


Pp wants to make it a bored SAHM dog but it didn’t work. Most room parents are indeed working parents at our school as well.


That was always my experience as well.


I have yet to meet a SAHM at my children's DCPS school. Everyone mom I know works full-time and gives time to the school when they can.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 11:12     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.


How cute you are. Nice that it's so easy for you.

I hated teacher appreciation week. I volunteered a lot and saw several teachers be snarky about the gifts they got in front of me. The worst were the request for specific items for each day. Tuesday is purple flower day. Thursday is scented candle day... The teachers do not want this junk but plenty of them get upset if they don't get the junk. It's ridiculous.

Also to the people bragging about being room parents while working full time, I never saw that. It was always the sahms and they usually had a bit of a controlling personality. I got asked several times to be room mom because the teachers were comfortable with me.


Hmm, that's on you that you think the PP and I were "bragging." Weird. Anyway, the majority of room parents I've dealt with over the last six years in both my kids' classes have worked full-time. Obviously your situation may be different, but the whole point of the response was to stop the ridiculous comments that room parents are always SAHMs who like giving people busy work. That's completely untrue at the two schools my kids have been at.


Pp wants to make it a bored SAHM dog but it didn’t work. Most room parents are indeed working parents at our school as well.


That was always my experience as well.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 11:10     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
I wouldn’t stress out, OP. I contribute money to the class gift, have my kids write notes or draw pictures, and move on with my life.

If someone is keeping track of whether my kid brought in a single-stemmed flower to put in a vase (serious request…), oh well! That was a sweet thought from the room mother, and even though it didn’t work for my family, I wasn’t going to yuck her yum.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 10:55     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:A lot of teachers are moms, too. I wonder how they get through?


I’m a teacher and a mom. I’m also the PP whose husband 100% handled everything without me even mentioning it.

I’ll also get absolutely nothing for teacher appreciation week from my students but I think nothing of it until I read some of these posts. Do I appreciate when something is done or given? Of course. But I never expect gifts or cards—whether for holidays, birthdays, or teacher appreciation week.

My husband usually sends me flowers at school though.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 10:13     Subject: Re:Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
as an exhausted teacher this Mondat morning I appreciated the laughs this thread provided.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 10:04     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.


The irony is, you don’t have to participate in this thread if other people’s dissatisfaction bothers you so very much. Live by your same rules! It took you longer to type out your reasoning why OP should see the world the way you do than it would have taken you to, you know, scroll on by.


DP. I like that you’re honest about needing to put on that hairshirt.


I like your dedication to hypocrisy, the way you can excuse the 100 things you complain about every day, and justify the minutiae that gets under your skin, just because this one thing that bothers someone else isn’t something that bothers you.


You need to get over yourself, or have a loved one get you some counseling, for real.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 10:04     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.


How cute you are. Nice that it's so easy for you.

I hated teacher appreciation week. I volunteered a lot and saw several teachers be snarky about the gifts they got in front of me. The worst were the request for specific items for each day. Tuesday is purple flower day. Thursday is scented candle day... The teachers do not want this junk but plenty of them get upset if they don't get the junk. It's ridiculous.

Also to the people bragging about being room parents while working full time, I never saw that. It was always the sahms and they usually had a bit of a controlling personality. I got asked several times to be room mom because the teachers were comfortable with me.


Hmm, that's on you that you think the PP and I were "bragging." Weird. Anyway, the majority of room parents I've dealt with over the last six years in both my kids' classes have worked full-time. Obviously your situation may be different, but the whole point of the response was to stop the ridiculous comments that room parents are always SAHMs who like giving people busy work. That's completely untrue at the two schools my kids have been at.


Pp wants to make it a bored SAHM dog but it didn’t work. Most room parents are indeed working parents at our school as well.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 09:58     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.


How cute you are. Nice that it's so easy for you.

I hated teacher appreciation week. I volunteered a lot and saw several teachers be snarky about the gifts they got in front of me. The worst were the request for specific items for each day. Tuesday is purple flower day. Thursday is scented candle day... The teachers do not want this junk but plenty of them get upset if they don't get the junk. It's ridiculous.

Also to the people bragging about being room parents while working full time, I never saw that. It was always the sahms and they usually had a bit of a controlling personality. I got asked several times to be room mom because the teachers were comfortable with me.


Hmm, that's on you that you think the PP and I were "bragging." Weird. Anyway, the majority of room parents I've dealt with over the last six years in both my kids' classes have worked full-time. Obviously your situation may be different, but the whole point of the response was to stop the ridiculous comments that room parents are always SAHMs who like giving people busy work. That's completely untrue at the two schools my kids have been at.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 09:47     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.


The irony is, you don’t have to participate in this thread if other people’s dissatisfaction bothers you so very much. Live by your same rules! It took you longer to type out your reasoning why OP should see the world the way you do than it would have taken you to, you know, scroll on by.


DP. I like that you’re honest about needing to put on that hairshirt.


I like your dedication to hypocrisy, the way you can excuse the 100 things you complain about every day, and justify the minutiae that gets under your skin, just because this one thing that bothers someone else isn’t something that bothers you.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 09:45     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.


How cute you are. Nice that it's so easy for you.

I hated teacher appreciation week. I volunteered a lot and saw several teachers be snarky about the gifts they got in front of me. The worst were the request for specific items for each day. Tuesday is purple flower day. Thursday is scented candle day... The teachers do not want this junk but plenty of them get upset if they don't get the junk. It's ridiculous.

Also to the people bragging about being room parents while working full time, I never saw that. It was always the sahms and they usually had a bit of a controlling personality. I got asked several times to be room mom because the teachers were comfortable with me.


Yeah, the PTA needs to include a little more of the T in planning things like this. Teachers don't want junk but I can see some being let down if none of their students participate because then it seems like they aren't a favored teacher (in front of the other teachers). It's really a no win situation. When I taught we had a PTA that would put on things like this but then when it came to athletic events there were barely any volunteers so teachers were forced to 'volunteer' to take ticket money etc. After a long day as a pregnant special ed teacher i had to go set up a tent (supervised by a booster father, WTF) to sit in the heat for hours collecting money multiple times a year.

So, if anyone truly wants to show appreciation for teachers, call out nonsense like this when you see it. Volunteer yourself or mention to a principal/admin that you see things going on like this and want to better support teachers so it can stop. I didn't need a flower, mug, or snack sized bag of chips. I needed respect.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 09:44     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is the real issue for so many here a strange fear that other parents (moms) will gossip meanly about you if you don’t do anything for your kid’s teachers or school? I really think it’s the latter and damn, you are pathetic to get this degree of upset about any of this crap. Because I don’t understand all of these agonies otherwise. If people actually ask what you’re doing for staff or teacher appreciation day or week or month or year, you really can’t smile brightly and say something bland and avoidant about how great the school is and move on, and mentally start planning how you and DH are going to catch up on Barry tonight and when you’re next on vacation or whatever little pleasant thing you can call up to focus on?

It’s not about the burden or teaching being a “Women’s” profession in history or current day. It’s really just a choice to feel burdened by a bullshit obligation so that you feel you’re part of the horde. It’s pointless. Do it freely and happily or do none of it, don’t force your kids or DH to participate. It’s meaningless. If you can afford a significant donation to the PTA for art or music supplementation that’s one thing. If you can’t, raise your kids so that they can handle school to the best of their and your ability. No one wants to deal with your “exceptional” “spirited” “future leader” and no Starbucks gift card or a banner or whatever other bit of tedium will make up for being a loser parent to a PITA kid.


Anytime holiday gifts for teachers, appreciation week, end of school gifts, etc. is brought up on here, the thread dissolves into calling parents that don’t gift or participate lazy, cheap, not caring about their kids, not caring about school, uninvolved, incapable, and so on. So yeah, it is pretty safe to assume these same sentiments are said or thought about those that are not participating in the gifting IRL. Which is why so many women feel heavily obligated and burdened to participate, even if they don’t want to- they care how they are perceived. Clearly there are a lot of people/women out there that do feel like the gifting is not optional and anyone not participating is beneath them. That is the biggest part of the problem. The secondary one is letting go of what people think.


I am a nobody and a gasp! SAHM and I do none of these things. I love our teachers and DH and I say so and thank them during parent-teacher conferences, and I chaperone sometimes. There are some parents who no doubt do a lot; I am completely fine not being one, at all, and smile and give vague answers when I’m pressed which is rarely. I know school culture and community perceptions play into this; we’re at a very well-regarded public ES in a high-income neighborhood.
I just don’t care. I make sure DC are at school on time every day, respectful, do homework, etc, and feel lucky and…that’s it. It’s enough for me so therefore it’s enough for people I don’t care about- parent-peers I’m not close with. And I’ve never perceived deleterious after effects from any teacher, ever, for my failure to be a class mom or a mug-gifter or banner-painter. In case anyone is tempted to just opt out, if Op struck a chord, just try it and see if it’s not freeing.


Same.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 09:43     Subject: Re:Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:I also hate that there is so much in May. My younger one's school piled on a spirit week so I'm also trying to remember what outfit he's supposed to wear every day, in addition to remembering what day I'm bringing in food and having him do cards. It's also public employee appreciation week which entails some tasks for me and it was just admin professionals day.

I felt lucky this year that my younger one and older one had separate teacher appreciation weeks, at least.


I was so annoyed about spirit week and my 6th grader said he chose the exact outfits I was complaining about. He is the class president. A group of 5th and 6th graders are planning these spirit days.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 09:42     Subject: Re:Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Drop the rope. Delete the begging emails without opening them. You do not have to engage, contribute, volunteer, etc. All the "activities" are for a set of SAHMs who like to create busy work for themselves. Let them have at it. Do what's important to your life and your family.


Can we please stop with this utter nonsense?

I'm a full-time working mom, always have been, and I have volunteered to be a room mom every year for one of my kids. The other room moms in my class are a OB/GYN and a Naval officer. So just stop.


+1
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 09:40     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Doesn’t anyone else care about ethics rules? I’m a fed and I won’t even take a sandwich from someone. Since we’re in the middle of IEP meetings it would literally seem like bribery if I gave gifts now. IEPs are often reviewed this time of year so I’m not alone.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2023 09:37     Subject: Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.


How cute you are. Nice that it's so easy for you.

I hated teacher appreciation week. I volunteered a lot and saw several teachers be snarky about the gifts they got in front of me. The worst were the request for specific items for each day. Tuesday is purple flower day. Thursday is scented candle day... The teachers do not want this junk but plenty of them get upset if they don't get the junk. It's ridiculous.

Also to the people bragging about being room parents while working full time, I never saw that. It was always the sahms and they usually had a bit of a controlling personality. I got asked several times to be room mom because the teachers were comfortable with me.


It’s easy for women who aren’t martyrs to tap out. The dynamic where teachers I guess sh!t-talked about the Yankee Candles and the deli carnations could have been your signal to internally back away from the show. That was an option, unless you need the content for your memoirs.