Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has no idea I identified as bisexual when we married and now identify as a lesbian married to a man. He doesn’t even know I’m attracted to women. If we divorce (which we very well might because we don’t get along for reasons having nothing to do with my sexuality), I’ll never date another man again.

Why do you think it is okay to lie to him about who he married?

I didn’t lie. He never asked about my sexuality, kinks, sexual history, or anything. He’s a very self-absorbed, uncurious person. When I asked him about his sexuality, history etc, his answers were plain and it was clear he had very little sexual experience and was ashamed of that. It made what should’ve been fun conversations feel awkward and needless.

When we were engaged and then soon got married, his lack of questions seemed like he was willing to accept me for whomever I am and just wanted to love me. I knew I wasn’t going to cheat, so bringing up my bisexuality to someone who really didn’t care to have the convo seemed needless. It took time for me to realize his lack of interest in basic details about others is actually a deep narcissism. By the time I realized that, I had too much contempt for him to confide. The rift has widened over time.

FYI the way you wrote this completely absolves you of any responsibility for the state of your own marriage. No one held a knife to your neck and made you marry him. No one forced you not to get couples counselling as your contempt for him set in. Unless you are a therapist, you’re not qualified to diagnose him as a narcissist. His lack of questions about you is not necessarily narcissistic. A lot of men just communicate differently or are happy with what’s in front of them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am secretly ready for my father to die. He is mostly independent and not mean in any way but I am tired having to be responsible for him in general

Have the same feelings for my mother.

Np, and I am confused by these posts. If your parents are independent and not unkind, why would prefer they die?? Is the air in their lungs holding up your inheritance? If so, gross.

Not of the PPs, and don't feel the same way. But it is exhausting supporting my very elderly parents, who live independently but suffer from mild dementia and other health issues and constantly need support and reassurance of one form or another. Both were amazing and it is incredibly difficult to see them in this diminished state. Knowing that there is no good outcome, only further diminishment, gives me sympathy for the PPs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am secretly ready for my father to die. He is mostly independent and not mean in any way but I am tired having to be responsible for him in general

Have the same feelings for my mother.

Np, and I am confused by these posts. If your parents are independent and not unkind, why would prefer they die?? Is the air in their lungs holding up your inheritance? If so, gross.

Anonymous wrote:Im married and I talk to a man online. We have a very strong sexual chemistry. He lives in another state so we will never meet but our lusty conversations are fun. DH has zero drive and won’t do anything about it. I went on HRT to make things better but he’s content and not meeting my needs. I’ve tried for years. now I have an outlet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has no idea I identified as bisexual when we married and now identify as a lesbian married to a man. He doesn’t even know I’m attracted to women. If we divorce (which we very well might because we don’t get along for reasons having nothing to do with my sexuality), I’ll never date another man again.

Why do you think it is okay to lie to him about who he married?

I didn’t lie. He never asked about my sexuality, kinks, sexual history, or anything. He’s a very self-absorbed, uncurious person. When I asked him about his sexuality, history etc, his answers were plain and it was clear he had very little sexual experience and was ashamed of that. It made what should’ve been fun conversations feel awkward and needless.

When we were engaged and then soon got married, his lack of questions seemed like he was willing to accept me for whomever I am and just wanted to love me. I knew I wasn’t going to cheat, so bringing up my bisexuality to someone who really didn’t care to have the convo seemed needless. It took time for me to realize his lack of interest in basic details about others is actually a deep narcissism. By the time I realized that, I had too much contempt for him to confide. The rift has widened over time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am secretly ready for my father to die. He is mostly independent and not mean in any way but I am tired having to be responsible for him in general

Have the same feelings for my mother.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has no idea I identified as bisexual when we married and now identify as a lesbian married to a man. He doesn’t even know I’m attracted to women. If we divorce (which we very well might because we don’t get along for reasons having nothing to do with my sexuality), I’ll never date another man again.

Why do you think it is okay to lie to him about who he married?

I didn’t lie. He never asked about my sexuality, kinks, sexual history, or anything. He’s a very self-absorbed, uncurious person. When I asked him about his sexuality, history etc, his answers were plain and it was clear he had very little sexual experience and was ashamed of that. It made what should’ve been fun conversations feel awkward and needless.

When we were engaged and then soon got married, his lack of questions seemed like he was willing to accept me for whomever I am and just wanted to love me. I knew I wasn’t going to cheat, so bringing up my bisexuality to someone who really didn’t care to have the convo seemed needless. It took time for me to realize his lack of interest in basic details about others is actually a deep narcissism. By the time I realized that, I had too much contempt for him to confide. The rift has widened over time.

You did lie, by omission. When you withhold information that you know you should share with another person, you are lying. There’s no other way to put it. And every day that goes by that you keep information to yourself that the other person should know is another day that you are lying.

“The other person didn’t ask” is not an excuse for hiding information/lying. I’m so tired of people who lie and rationalize their lying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has no idea I identified as bisexual when we married and now identify as a lesbian married to a man. He doesn’t even know I’m attracted to women. If we divorce (which we very well might because we don’t get along for reasons having nothing to do with my sexuality), I’ll never date another man again.

Why do you think it is okay to lie to him about who he married?

I didn’t lie. He never asked about my sexuality, kinks, sexual history, or anything. He’s a very self-absorbed, uncurious person. When I asked him about his sexuality, history etc, his answers were plain and it was clear he had very little sexual experience and was ashamed of that. It made what should’ve been fun conversations feel awkward and needless.

When we were engaged and then soon got married, his lack of questions seemed like he was willing to accept me for whomever I am and just wanted to love me. I knew I wasn’t going to cheat, so bringing up my bisexuality to someone who really didn’t care to have the convo seemed needless. It took time for me to realize his lack of interest in basic details about others is actually a deep narcissism. By the time I realized that, I had too much contempt for him to confide. The rift has widened over time.

Anonymous wrote:I banged a street hooker with no condom

Anonymous wrote:that I frequently consider killing myself

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had 5 abortions.

Why don't you use birth control? That pattern sounds irresponsible, TBH.

Not this poster, but I hope that if you ever need help, you will be met with less judgment.

Anonymous wrote:Im married and I talk to a man online. We have a very strong sexual chemistry. He lives in another state so we will never meet but our lusty conversations are fun. DH has zero drive and won’t do anything about it. I went on HRT to make things better but he’s content and not meeting my needs. I’ve tried for years. now I have an outlet.