Anonymous
04/22/2023 23:40
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:I was induced due to preeclampsia and was awake 48 hours for the induction before giving birth. Was on magnesium the whole time, not allowed to eat. Gave birth, baby was fine. Nurses then said I could not eat for another 48 hours and was to be on magnesium again. If you don't know, magnesium can make you tired and just not "with it." Twenty-four hours after birth during which I slept for maybe 45 minutes at a time, I asked (full of shame) if the baby could go to the nursery. The nurses said they didn't have a nursery (baby-friendly hospital) and they could just tie the baby to me if I wanted to sleep. Spouse had to go home to get a change of clothes, so wasn't in the room. I was starving, sleep-deprived, and on medication that made me not clear-headed. But no, I had to stay with that baby.
Baby-friendly isn't mom-friendly, and I would imagine at times yields higher risks and poorer outcomes for babies.
I'm surprised there wasn't a bassinet. That sounds quite odd.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:34
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I work as a nurse. We wake people up multiple times in the night to check their vital signs, give meds, and draw blood. Those post-surgery patients are not getting a restful night of sleep.
those patients should have their sleep protected too. not to mention that a woman with an uncomplicated vaginal birth does not need vitals checked.
disrupted sleep in the hospital was absolutely nightmarish for me post-partum. like, I actually almost felt delusional the second night.
You can sleep or we can make sure that you aren't bleeding out, showing signs of an infection, or having dangerous changes to your blood pressure. If you think you don't need that, then you should just go home. Making sure patients stay alive is more important than making sure patients have uninterrupted sleep.
BS. If nurses were actually providing quality care and making sure women weren’t bleeding out, showing signs of infection, or having dangerous changes to blood pressure we wouldn’t have an epidemic of black mothers dying after childbirth. So don’t pretend your cursory interruption just to wake up a sleeping postpartum mother is actually preventing any medical crisis.
The nursing staff is usually not the most educated lot in the medical profession.
Exactly. So PP’s little savior speech that “she’s saving lives or patients in need of recovery post medical procedure can go home” can FO. She’s not providing any type of care that saves lives.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:32
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I work as a nurse. We wake people up multiple times in the night to check their vital signs, give meds, and draw blood. Those post-surgery patients are not getting a restful night of sleep.
those patients should have their sleep protected too. not to mention that a woman with an uncomplicated vaginal birth does not need vitals checked.
disrupted sleep in the hospital was absolutely nightmarish for me post-partum. like, I actually almost felt delusional the second night.
You can sleep or we can make sure that you aren't bleeding out, showing signs of an infection, or having dangerous changes to your blood pressure. If you think you don't need that, then you should just go home. Making sure patients stay alive is more important than making sure patients have uninterrupted sleep.
BS. If nurses were actually providing quality care and making sure women weren’t bleeding out, showing signs of infection, or having dangerous changes to blood pressure we wouldn’t have an epidemic of black mothers dying after childbirth. So don’t pretend your cursory interruption just to wake up a sleeping postpartum mother is actually preventing any medical crisis.
The nursing staff is usually not the most educated lot in the medical profession.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:30
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! I am an immigrant. The moment I gave birth and was wheeled in the room, it was not the experience I wanted. It seems that nurses here are not trained for postpartum care and manners. Thankfully I had a private room (or maybe I had a room where there was no other person?) for the less than 1 day I was there. The care is certainly minimal in US.
I insisted that I wanted to be home and checked out with the baby the next day. I had no complications, baby was healthy and I had a normal vaginal birth. I recovered at home and followed our own traditional cultural practice of 40 days of seclusion, hot oil massages, warm herbal baths, lots of yummy food and lots of rest. I had 2 people looking after me and the baby. We were never left alone, I had company that I fully trusted (mom and sister). We had outsourced a lot of chores and we were well prepared for the 40 day seclusion. It was blissful and joyful. No other country treats new mom as badly as US. I am still surprised that people want to have kids in this place.
Our insurance covered everything so my out of pocket cost was zero.
Most people's sister and mom are not available to provide this level of care for 40 days. Sounds nice though.
Agreed. Culturally, 40 days confinement is the norm for us and that means that everyone pitches in. The entire family prepared and helped for this event. It is believed that these 40 days are crucial for maternal and baby health (mental and physical). Childbirth is considered a new birth for the mom and she and the baby are not left alone. It is a significant event for the whole family.
In my home country, I could have stayed in a traditional birthing center for at least a week or 10 days, if I wanted. Hospitals now keep you for 2-3 days because of fear of infections and C-sections might stay for 7-8 days. But, we still have this culture of home confinement and now you can get postpartum doulas if you do not have family members to help.
I doubt many American women would want to be stuck at home for 40 days just because they had a child. That seems excessive and also a huge burden on women in your family. I notice how it’s glossed over the women were expected to provide unpaid labor for 40 days. No thanks.
More than all of that- Dh wanted to care for us and be with just the baby and me. He would have been upset at my mom trying to change diapers or feed me. He loved bonding with his newborns. He took 6 weeks and then 6 when I went back to work, so I guess that’s like 42 days
That's great. Yes, my DH also did all of that. Thankfully, my mom, my sister and my DH get along very well and work well together. So it was a very joyous time for all of us. I also wanted my mom and sister with me, since I am very close to my family and this was a very emotional time for me.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:25
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! I am an immigrant. The moment I gave birth and was wheeled in the room, it was not the experience I wanted. It seems that nurses here are not trained for postpartum care and manners. Thankfully I had a private room (or maybe I had a room where there was no other person?) for the less than 1 day I was there. The care is certainly minimal in US.
I insisted that I wanted to be home and checked out with the baby the next day. I had no complications, baby was healthy and I had a normal vaginal birth. I recovered at home and followed our own traditional cultural practice of 40 days of seclusion, hot oil massages, warm herbal baths, lots of yummy food and lots of rest. I had 2 people looking after me and the baby. We were never left alone, I had company that I fully trusted (mom and sister). We had outsourced a lot of chores and we were well prepared for the 40 day seclusion. It was blissful and joyful. No other country treats new mom as badly as US. I am still surprised that people want to have kids in this place.
Our insurance covered everything so my out of pocket cost was zero.
Most people's sister and mom are not available to provide this level of care for 40 days. Sounds nice though.
Agreed. Culturally, 40 days confinement is the norm for us and that means that everyone pitches in. The entire family prepared and helped for this event. It is believed that these 40 days are crucial for maternal and baby health (mental and physical). Childbirth is considered a new birth for the mom and she and the baby are not left alone. It is a significant event for the whole family.
In my home country, I could have stayed in a traditional birthing center for at least a week or 10 days, if I wanted. Hospitals now keep you for 2-3 days because of fear of infections and C-sections might stay for 7-8 days. But, we still have this culture of home confinement and now you can get postpartum doulas if you do not have family members to help.
I doubt many American women would want to be stuck at home for 40 days just because they had a child. That seems excessive and also a huge burden on women in your family. I notice how it’s glossed over the women were expected to provide unpaid labor for 40 days. No thanks.
Wow! This is a really POS response. Don't talk of all the other American woman would want. Speak only for yourself.
I loved being home with my mom, my sister, my NB and my DH. So I was not bored and loved the company. I was recovering and I wanted to be cared for at home. Of course, since we are not like your family, it was not a burden on my family members. No, there was no thought of paying them because that is an offensive, ugly and repulsive mentality. This is not how we function.
Yes, I only wanted female members of my family to help me. They were giving me massages, helping me to nurse and helping me to bathe. I would not want my father or brother to be doing that for me. I don't know what kind of weird family you have.
There is no reason to be dismissive because of cultural differences. But, I pity your thought process and your family culture, because you neither have a family support system like I have nor you are capable of being a support to someone else. I pity you.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:20
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I work as a nurse. We wake people up multiple times in the night to check their vital signs, give meds, and draw blood. Those post-surgery patients are not getting a restful night of sleep.
those patients should have their sleep protected too. not to mention that a woman with an uncomplicated vaginal birth does not need vitals checked.
disrupted sleep in the hospital was absolutely nightmarish for me post-partum. like, I actually almost felt delusional the second night.
You can sleep or we can make sure that you aren't bleeding out, showing signs of an infection, or having dangerous changes to your blood pressure. If you think you don't need that, then you should just go home. Making sure patients stay alive is more important than making sure patients have uninterrupted sleep.
BS. If nurses were actually providing quality care and making sure women weren’t bleeding out, showing signs of infection, or having dangerous changes to blood pressure we wouldn’t have an epidemic of black mothers dying after childbirth. So don’t pretend your cursory interruption just to wake up a sleeping postpartum mother is actually preventing any medical crisis.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:19
Subject: Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:I gave birth in 2016, 2018 and 2022. No nurseries at all and these were at 2 different NoVA hospitals.
The first time I just thought this was my burden to bear. I tried and tried. I was so sleep deprived, shaking and I remember sobbing at nurses. It definitely teed off my postpartum depression. I had been in labor for days before my induction. And then my induction started at 7pm. I gave birth two days later at 6am. I truly just hadn't slept in days. I have few memories of the whole thing, just a lot of pain and exhaustion.
2nd and 3rd births I was armed with information. DH slept near the door and stopped any nurse that came near. I refused all colace and brought my own. DH would run out and tell nurses if I was up and nursing at 3am so that they could take my blood pressure or do whatever the eff they wanted during that time (maybe they need a button we can push to say we're awake?) so that they didn't wake me up 15 min after I went back to sleep. I checked out promptly at 24 hours and it was a struggle. At home I had a husband and 4 grandparents to care for me. My mom is a doctor. At home I felt like a princess and dh could properly care for me.
Speaking of which, my mom is an OB. As a kid I would stay at the hospital overnight sometimes (dad traveled and mom was on call. I slept in the on call room). There were nurseries filled with sweet sleeping babies. Dads and grandparents would sit there rocking babies for hours. Fast forward to when I gave birth and there were no rocking chairs. Only delivery rooms had them, not postpartum. Nope, in postpartum, you just had the screaming baby on mom 24/7. Baby was unable to leave the room, no rocking chairs. Dads couldn't even push the crib around the halls (moms could). I remember my inlaws trying to visit, but I was sick (vomiting) and they didn't want to be in the room with me. They wanted to see the baby but there wasn't anywhere else to go.
You're lucky the nurses complied with what a spouse in the hall says. Typically, they just roll their eyes and say they'll come in on their schedule.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:15
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:For me it wasn’t just the nurses, but the sheer volume of people and none of them coordinate.
-the nurses who do vitals
-the residents
-the actual docs
-the janitor/people emptying trash
-the person who would take my blood (not the same as the nurses)
-the pharmacy people
-the pediatrician
-the people in charge of the paperwork/birth certificate
-the lactation consultant
-I’m probably forgetting a few
It was so horrible. I still cannot fathom why things are set up this way.
I think the new mom’s DH or mom or MIL should stand duty and disallow these needless night visits.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:13
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:For me it wasn’t just the nurses, but the sheer volume of people and none of them coordinate.
-the nurses who do vitals
-the residents
-the actual docs
-the janitor/people emptying trash
-the person who would take my blood (not the same as the nurses)
-the pharmacy people
-the pediatrician
-the people in charge of the paperwork/birth certificate
-the lactation consultant
-I’m probably forgetting a few
It was so horrible. I still cannot fathom why things are set up this way.
+100
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:12
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! I am an immigrant. The moment I gave birth and was wheeled in the room, it was not the experience I wanted. It seems that nurses here are not trained for postpartum care and manners. Thankfully I had a private room (or maybe I had a room where there was no other person?) for the less than 1 day I was there. The care is certainly minimal in US.
I insisted that I wanted to be home and checked out with the baby the next day. I had no complications, baby was healthy and I had a normal vaginal birth. I recovered at home and followed our own traditional cultural practice of 40 days of seclusion, hot oil massages, warm herbal baths, lots of yummy food and lots of rest. I had 2 people looking after me and the baby. We were never left alone, I had company that I fully trusted (mom and sister). We had outsourced a lot of chores and we were well prepared for the 40 day seclusion. It was blissful and joyful. No other country treats new mom as badly as US. I am still surprised that people want to have kids in this place.
Our insurance covered everything so my out of pocket cost was zero.
Most people's sister and mom are not available to provide this level of care for 40 days. Sounds nice though.
I was thinking along similar lines. Do they not have work, family, or other obligations? I would not be happy if my sister expected me to take care of her for 40 days! When I had my babies, my husband was very helpful, my mom cooked us meals. We could have used help washing all the pump parts and bottles, though. In an ideal world I’d have someone to do that. I was lucky enough to have decent support, and it wasn’t too difficult (except all the washing!!)
LOL! It is my family. I do not have to pay them anything. I helped with my SIL's confinement (DH's brother's wife) for 3 weeks as her sister could only come for 3 weeks. Yes, people work, have family and other obligations too. But, everyone pitches in and we are taught to not be self-centered so it all works out. My DH also took 5 full weeks off from work. Of course I am very grateful to all of them, as it is not easy for anyone to leave their families behind. Someone else then needs to pick up the slack.
We did outsource a lot too. That also helped.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:11
Subject: Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And put the baby in a nursery room for the night. The recovery should be treated like recovery from a surgery; no interrupting sleep.
Have you had surgery? Sleep is absolutely interrupted for medical check ins. I don't disagree with you that someone who just gave birth needs sleep to recover, but the hospital isn't restful for anyone.
So why add to the burden and put newborn care onto the new mom as well?
Yeah that’s what I don’t get. Why is the mom having to change baby diapers, bathe the baby and comfort? I wasn’t able to do any of that after my birth and they made me feel bad. I knew I signed up for breastfeeding (and loved that!) but I physically couldn’t care for the newborn.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:08
Subject: Re:Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! I am an immigrant. The moment I gave birth and was wheeled in the room, it was not the experience I wanted. It seems that nurses here are not trained for postpartum care and manners. Thankfully I had a private room (or maybe I had a room where there was no other person?) for the less than 1 day I was there. The care is certainly minimal in US.
I insisted that I wanted to be home and checked out with the baby the next day. I had no complications, baby was healthy and I had a normal vaginal birth. I recovered at home and followed our own traditional cultural practice of 40 days of seclusion, hot oil massages, warm herbal baths, lots of yummy food and lots of rest. I had 2 people looking after me and the baby. We were never left alone, I had company that I fully trusted (mom and sister). We had outsourced a lot of chores and we were well prepared for the 40 day seclusion. It was blissful and joyful. No other country treats new mom as badly as US. I am still surprised that people want to have kids in this place.
Our insurance covered everything so my out of pocket cost was zero.
Most people's sister and mom are not available to provide this level of care for 40 days. Sounds nice though.
Agreed. Culturally, 40 days confinement is the norm for us and that means that everyone pitches in. The entire family prepared and helped for this event. It is believed that these 40 days are crucial for maternal and baby health (mental and physical). Childbirth is considered a new birth for the mom and she and the baby are not left alone. It is a significant event for the whole family.
In my home country, I could have stayed in a traditional birthing center for at least a week or 10 days, if I wanted. Hospitals now keep you for 2-3 days because of fear of infections and C-sections might stay for 7-8 days. But, we still have this culture of home confinement and now you can get postpartum doulas if you do not have family members to help.
I doubt many American women would want to be stuck at home for 40 days just because they had a child. That seems excessive and also a huge burden on women in your family. I notice how it’s glossed over the women were expected to provide unpaid labor for 40 days. No thanks.
More than all of that- Dh wanted to care for us and be with just the baby and me. He would have been upset at my mom trying to change diapers or feed me. He loved bonding with his newborns. He took 6 weeks and then 6 when I went back to work, so I guess that’s like 42 days
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:06
Subject: Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And put the baby in a nursery room for the night. The recovery should be treated like recovery from a surgery; no interrupting sleep.
Have you had surgery? Sleep is absolutely interrupted for medical check ins. I don't disagree with you that someone who just gave birth needs sleep to recover, but the hospital isn't restful for anyone.
So why add to the burden and put newborn care onto the new mom as well?
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:04
Subject: Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And put the baby in a nursery room for the night. The recovery should be treated like recovery from a surgery; no interrupting sleep.
Have you had surgery? Sleep is absolutely interrupted for medical check ins. I don't disagree with you that someone who just gave birth needs sleep to recover, but the hospital isn't restful for anyone.
Sleep is important for ALL hospital patients.
Anonymous
04/22/2023 22:02
Subject: Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?
Anonymous wrote:And put the baby in a nursery room for the night. The recovery should be treated like recovery from a surgery; no interrupting sleep.
Have you had surgery? Sleep is absolutely interrupted for medical check ins. I don't disagree with you that someone who just gave birth needs sleep to recover, but the hospital isn't restful for anyone.