Anonymous wrote:Wtf. Of course you pay as parents of the bride. You are just being cheap otherwise.

Are you posting from 1952? That stems from old fashioned sexism, when you paid for your daughters to marry and for your sons to go to college.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our daughter is engaged and the grooms parents want us to pay. Sorry for the typos and autocorrects.

The grooms parents told you they want you to pay, or you are assuming that because they don't intend to pay for the wedding? Big difference.

I have sons, and have told them for years that we will not pay for a wedding (in spite of a net worth that is 8 figures) because it's a waste of money. They will get money as a wedding gift, what they do with that money is up to each of them.

If the bride's parents approached us with a request to pay, that would be.....interesting.

Anonymous wrote:Wtf. Of course you pay as parents of the bride. You are just being cheap otherwise.

Who pays if the brides parents are broke AF? Are they supposed to take out a loan and jeopardize their finances? Do the bride and groom only get a small wedding even if they can afford to pay for a larger one themselves and are better off financially than the parents?

Anonymous wrote:What kind of wedding do you want for your family? If you don’t dare, then offer them a set amount and let them plan it. If you and the fiancé(e)’s family want a big expensive wedding for your families, then you should pay for it. I find it odd that you are wealthy and don’t want to spend on a wedding but will on biz school and med school.

You are joking right? An EDUCATION is in no way comparable to a wedding. Education has actual value.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2023- the bride and groom should be paying for their own wedding.

College grads heading directly to grad school? How?

Then they either wait, or have something they can afford, like elope or go to the courthouse. No one is owed a fancy wedding because they choose to get married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2023- the bride and groom should be paying for their own wedding.

Dumb, if parents want to help, great. Not having to fork over 20,40,60,80K+ for a wedding as a young couple is one of the greatest gifts you can receive.

I hereby absolve you and every other person in this world from the requirement of forking over 20, 40, 60, 80K+ for a wedding. You're welcome!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bride's parents pay for the wedding

Groom's family pays for rehearsal dinner

Groom pays for honeymoon.

Those are the rules

I’m 31 and this was us to a T and obviously the groom, me, paid for the rings.

$90-100k budget for wedding
$20k for rehearsal
$20k honeymoon

All families happily agreed to it, even though the wedding was a significant cost.

As long as all parties are happy, it shouldn’t matter where the source of funds are coming from. My in laws said this is your budget, go for it, same with my parents.

$20k for a rehearsal dinner???

Anonymous wrote:The bride's parents pay for the wedding

Groom's family pays for rehearsal dinner

Groom pays for honeymoon.

Those are the rules

I’m 31 and this was us to a T and obviously the groom, me, paid for the rings.

$90-100k budget for wedding
$20k for rehearsal
$20k honeymoon

All families happily agreed to it, even though the wedding was a significant cost.

As long as all parties are happy, it shouldn’t matter where the source of funds are coming from. My in laws said this is your budget, go for it, same with my parents.

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2023- the bride and groom should be paying for their own wedding.

Dumb, if parents want to help, great. Not having to fork over 20,40,60,80K+ for a wedding as a young couple is one of the greatest gifts you can receive.

Anonymous wrote:Also, everyone pretending confusion re: fiancée and fiancé in the guise of being open minding but really being pedantic can see yourselves out…

OP’s child is a woman marrying a man (pronouns in the OP’s post make it clear).


If you’re going to be unreasonably, but on-brand, snobby, question how OP’s future SIL a could be going to a top rated MBA program straight out of undergrad (hint - it’s probably actually law school or some other sort of expensive grad school).

No it wasn’t because she also switched between daughter and son out DD and DS. I assumed it was two women then she said he. Then she said she had a DS. It made no sense and I am pretty sure she was switching genders for privacy and messed up.

Anonymous wrote:The bride's parents pay for the wedding

Groom's family pays for rehearsal dinner

Groom pays for honeymoon.

Those are the rules

This.

If you can well afford it, why not pay for your DD's wedding?

If I were in a position to do that, it would give me great joy to pay for my DD's wedding. That is what my parents did for me in 2000, and I am still so grateful.

Why create drama with the future in-laws when you could just agree to pay, and give your DD this really nice gesture?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin just had a courthouse wedding with immediate family. They still dressed up and got married at a really lovely historic courthouse.

I would disown my child for having a courthouse wedding. Nothing represents a greater affront to the dignity of family heritage and generational expectation.

Wow. I can't imagine what it must be like to have such a piece of work as a parent.

+100. What a nightmare.

There is no point in inviting lots of extended family and family friends, most of whom couple couldn't care to have there.

Marriage shouldn't be postponed for expensive wedding. Do it within your budget, and by your means, couple's budget. If their parents want to, they can gift whatever they want to and then let the couple decide whatever works for them.