Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 20:57     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're all doormats who married weak men. We've been married for 20+ years and we don't cheat. My H knows that 1) I'll kick him out and divorce him or 2) I'll get twice as many lovers. And he also knows that I mean it. So much mental gymnastics. And the therapist talking about the grey area. Really? Of course they encourage working on the relationship, it's not fair that only the divorce lawyers get all the gravy. Look at stats about therapists' own relationship success and you'll see how great they are. In life, there are things that must be black and white. It's your choice that you don't think your H's integrity to you is important and worth that black and white determination. He obviously knows that, hence why he has no respect for you. You'll find excuses for the nth mistress. Grow some bone.


Ha. This is a woman who does not know her husband bangs someone else occasionally. My neighbor was just as vocal this way…and guess what ?


My boss was like that too. Her husband left her for the admin. She never saw it coming.


Pride goeth before the fall. I was arrogantly telling a therapist friend that I didn't understand why couples needed marital therapy because you should just communicate what's in your head. The next day I found out my husband was having an affair.


Did you divorce?
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 20:56     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Once a cheater always a cheater.


I caught my ex-wife on her 3rd affair.


Did you know about the first two??


No. After I discovered the first I went digging and had evidence. She eventually fessed up in counseling.

I’m sure there were likely ONS as well. She went to concerts with guy “friends”., etc.

I left.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 20:49     Subject: If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:An Aunt took back her husband after an affair ... actually it was affair -> divorce -> he married the AP -> soon divorced the AP -> begged to come back -> Aunt & Uncle remarried.

She agreed to remarry once she knew - she could marry him again and not bring it up, not keep punishing him.

I think it was the power of not being married any longer. That was empowering for her.

I always recommend divorce after an affair
It might be you remarry, later, if it turns out that that's what you want to do.


Christ- he married the AP.

This is very different than a guy that broke up with an AP and never loved her.

How do you take back a guy that left u and married the woman?
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 19:39     Subject: If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Yeah, I wouldn't continue in a marriage where the spouse cheated without some kind of post-nup, minimally (Aunt poster here)
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 19:32     Subject: If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:An Aunt took back her husband after an affair ... actually it was affair -> divorce -> he married the AP -> soon divorced the AP -> begged to come back -> Aunt & Uncle remarried.

She agreed to remarry once she knew - she could marry him again and not bring it up, not keep punishing him.

I think it was the power of not being married any longer. That was empowering for her.

I always recommend divorce after an affair
It might be you remarry, later, if it turns out that that's what you want to do.


If not divorce, then a post-nup. I deeply regret giving my exDH a second chance without putting my own security and my kids’ security first. I wasted a lot of time and energy on that second chance that would have been better spent building my life with my kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 19:27     Subject: If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
An Aunt took back her husband after an affair ... actually it was affair -> divorce -> he married the AP -> soon divorced the AP -> begged to come back -> Aunt & Uncle remarried.

She agreed to remarry once she knew - she could marry him again and not bring it up, not keep punishing him.

I think it was the power of not being married any longer. That was empowering for her.

I always recommend divorce after an affair
It might be you remarry, later, if it turns out that that's what you want to do.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 19:18     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Once a cheater always a cheater.


I caught my ex-wife on her 3rd affair.


Did you know about the first two??
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 19:18     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're all doormats who married weak men. We've been married for 20+ years and we don't cheat. My H knows that 1) I'll kick him out and divorce him or 2) I'll get twice as many lovers. And he also knows that I mean it. So much mental gymnastics. And the therapist talking about the grey area. Really? Of course they encourage working on the relationship, it's not fair that only the divorce lawyers get all the gravy. Look at stats about therapists' own relationship success and you'll see how great they are. In life, there are things that must be black and white. It's your choice that you don't think your H's integrity to you is important and worth that black and white determination. He obviously knows that, hence why he has no respect for you. You'll find excuses for the nth mistress. Grow some bone.


Ha. This is a woman who does not know her husband bangs someone else occasionally. My neighbor was just as vocal this way…and guess what ?


My boss was like that too. Her husband left her for the admin. She never saw it coming.


Pride goeth before the fall. I was arrogantly telling a therapist friend that I didn't understand why couples needed marital therapy because you should just communicate what's in your head. The next day I found out my husband was having an affair.


+1

Sister, me too.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 19:17     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're all doormats who married weak men. We've been married for 20+ years and we don't cheat. My H knows that 1) I'll kick him out and divorce him or 2) I'll get twice as many lovers. And he also knows that I mean it. So much mental gymnastics. And the therapist talking about the grey area. Really? Of course they encourage working on the relationship, it's not fair that only the divorce lawyers get all the gravy. Look at stats about therapists' own relationship success and you'll see how great they are. In life, there are things that must be black and white. It's your choice that you don't think your H's integrity to you is important and worth that black and white determination. He obviously knows that, hence why he has no respect for you. You'll find excuses for the nth mistress. Grow some bone.


Ha. This is a woman who does not know her husband bangs someone else occasionally. My neighbor was just as vocal this way…and guess what ?


My boss was like that too. Her husband left her for the admin. She never saw it coming.


Pride goeth before the fall. I was arrogantly telling a therapist friend that I didn't understand why couples needed marital therapy because you should just communicate what's in your head. The next day I found out my husband was having an affair.


I was one of those posters saying my husband would never cheat. And, also he had zero opportunity. Never traveled for work, was home after work, every weekend we were together, he never did guys only nights, he didn’t golf, etc, etc. We really always got along great, good sex, etc.

I also was TOTALLY blind sided. I now feel like an idiot I was all high and mighty that my husband wasn’t the kind (and I was hot and successful, very fit).

I now see all people very differently. I’m 52 and just in the last few years I’ve started seeing more “facades” and more “good people” getting caught doing things I never would have suspected and “solid marriages” starting to crumble. It’s crazy.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 18:52     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're all doormats who married weak men. We've been married for 20+ years and we don't cheat. My H knows that 1) I'll kick him out and divorce him or 2) I'll get twice as many lovers. And he also knows that I mean it. So much mental gymnastics. And the therapist talking about the grey area. Really? Of course they encourage working on the relationship, it's not fair that only the divorce lawyers get all the gravy. Look at stats about therapists' own relationship success and you'll see how great they are. In life, there are things that must be black and white. It's your choice that you don't think your H's integrity to you is important and worth that black and white determination. He obviously knows that, hence why he has no respect for you. You'll find excuses for the nth mistress. Grow some bone.


Ha. This is a woman who does not know her husband bangs someone else occasionally. My neighbor was just as vocal this way…and guess what ?


My boss was like that too. Her husband left her for the admin. She never saw it coming.


Pride goeth before the fall. I was arrogantly telling a therapist friend that I didn't understand why couples needed marital therapy because you should just communicate what's in your head. The next day I found out my husband was having an affair.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2022 23:51     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:Once a cheater always a cheater.


I caught my ex-wife on her 3rd affair.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2022 20:34     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2022 20:23     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're all doormats who married weak men. We've been married for 20+ years and we don't cheat. My H knows that 1) I'll kick him out and divorce him or 2) I'll get twice as many lovers. And he also knows that I mean it. So much mental gymnastics. And the therapist talking about the grey area. Really? Of course they encourage working on the relationship, it's not fair that only the divorce lawyers get all the gravy. Look at stats about therapists' own relationship success and you'll see how great they are. In life, there are things that must be black and white. It's your choice that you don't think your H's integrity to you is important and worth that black and white determination. He obviously knows that, hence why he has no respect for you. You'll find excuses for the nth mistress. Grow some bone.


Ha. This is a woman who does not know her husband bangs someone else occasionally. My neighbor was just as vocal this way…and guess what ?


My boss was like that too. Her husband left her for the admin. She never saw it coming.


You're both bitter witches. There are plenty of healthy marriages out there., no everyone is f*ed up like you. Instead of being jealous on people with good marriages, just concentrate your efforts on getting out of your toxic one. Sorry your man is trash, mine isn't. Do better raising your sons so they won't be like their dads.


Wow. The lady doth protest too much.


I am not so sure.

Anyone else notice the group of super-biter, angry divorced women here on DCUM, who live to trash men and encourage women to divorce?

It is frankly bizarre.


They trash women too.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2022 20:21     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're all doormats who married weak men. We've been married for 20+ years and we don't cheat. My H knows that 1) I'll kick him out and divorce him or 2) I'll get twice as many lovers. And he also knows that I mean it. So much mental gymnastics. And the therapist talking about the grey area. Really? Of course they encourage working on the relationship, it's not fair that only the divorce lawyers get all the gravy. Look at stats about therapists' own relationship success and you'll see how great they are. In life, there are things that must be black and white. It's your choice that you don't think your H's integrity to you is important and worth that black and white determination. He obviously knows that, hence why he has no respect for you. You'll find excuses for the nth mistress. Grow some bone.


Ha. This is a woman who does not know her husband bangs someone else occasionally. My neighbor was just as vocal this way…and guess what ?


My boss was like that too. Her husband left her for the admin. She never saw it coming.


You're both bitter witches. There are plenty of healthy marriages out there., no everyone is f*ed up like you. Instead of being jealous on people with good marriages, just concentrate your efforts on getting out of your toxic one. Sorry your man is trash, mine isn't. Do better raising your sons so they won't be like their dads.


Wow. The lady doth protest too much.


I am not so sure.

Anyone else notice the group of super-biter, angry divorced women here on DCUM, who live to trash men and encourage women to divorce?

It is frankly bizarre.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2022 16:20     Subject: Re:If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're all doormats who married weak men. We've been married for 20+ years and we don't cheat. My H knows that 1) I'll kick him out and divorce him or 2) I'll get twice as many lovers. And he also knows that I mean it. So much mental gymnastics. And the therapist talking about the grey area. Really? Of course they encourage working on the relationship, it's not fair that only the divorce lawyers get all the gravy. Look at stats about therapists' own relationship success and you'll see how great they are. In life, there are things that must be black and white. It's your choice that you don't think your H's integrity to you is important and worth that black and white determination. He obviously knows that, hence why he has no respect for you. You'll find excuses for the nth mistress. Grow some bone.


Ha. This is a woman who does not know her husband bangs someone else occasionally. My neighbor was just as vocal this way…and guess what ?


My boss was like that too. Her husband left her for the admin. She never saw it coming.


You're both bitter witches. There are plenty of healthy marriages out there., no everyone is f*ed up like you. Instead of being jealous on people with good marriages, just concentrate your efforts on getting out of your toxic one. Sorry your man is trash, mine isn't. Do better raising your sons so they won't be like their dads.


Wow. The lady doth protest too much.