I don’t feel bad for her. I’ve known so many women in these circles and they are incredibly focused on their lifestyle and social life. Very little attention is paid to their husband and they don’t live what most people would consider a normal life.

From knowing some of the husbands, it’s also obvious they aren’t that happy. It’s as if they are just pawns in life and their wives run around frantically from one social event to another. It’s all about the next luxury vacation, dressing kids in expensive British looking clothing, attending parties that are photographed and private school admissions. From the outside it looks fabulous but I can tell some of the husbands would prefer a nice girlfriend who gives them attention and wants to have sex instead of take photos on a boat off Nantucket.

I do sympathize with her since this is the only world she knows and she likely has no idea why he left her. It’s very obvious to me!

I don’t judge him for marrying money. Any man who is ambitious enough to work in finance in NY and command those earnings is going to want the finer things in life and try to capitalize on marriage. This goes with the territory. You can’t have it both ways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The husband’s family is a piece of work. His brother wrote his own Modern Love column a few years ago about how his wife begged him to find a girlfriend when she started developing early-onset Alzheimer’s and described the Thanksgiving meal with his wife and lady love at the same table.

No, seriously? They’re brothers?! That piece was so messed up.

Anonymous wrote:The husband’s family is a piece of work. His brother wrote his own Modern Love column a few years ago about how his wife begged him to find a girlfriend when she started developing early-onset Alzheimer’s and described the Thanksgiving meal with his wife and lady love at the same table.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to hand it to her ex. He ran an impressive operation all these years. Got a wealthy wife to fund his lifestyle, used her family connections to build his career, spent his spare time banging young women, kept all his cash and then skedaddled the minute he got busted.

After he left her, he moved into a 2 BR condo. Yes, NYC real estate is expensive, but I wouldn't be surprised if he spend his hedge fund earnings on "other things." She says he had "brushes with the law" as a teen.

Isn't that one of the hallmarks of sociopaths? I'm in the middle of a similar kind of divorce from a similar kind of person. Less money at stake but now I think he used me as a stepping stone. I'm convinced my ex would have maintained the charade had I not confronted him. This personality type can't bear to be unmasked so they run away. The way Belle writes about Henry I maintain he probably didn't have plans to leave her but once he was found out he had to hit reboot on a new life. It was helpful to me when she wrote that his vengeance ultimately didn't seem personal. I mean it's a small consolation when you're on the receiving end of said vengeance but in her case and mine, these men have to burn it all down rather than actually address the issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to hand it to her ex. He ran an impressive operation all these years. Got a wealthy wife to fund his lifestyle, used her family connections to build his career, spent his spare time banging young women, kept all his cash and then skedaddled the minute he got busted.

After he left her, he moved into a 2 BR condo. Yes, NYC real estate is expensive, but I wouldn't be surprised if he spend his hedge fund earnings on "other things." She says he had "brushes with the law" as a teen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid seems to have triggered a lot of abrupt marriage breakdowns. The British cookbook author Bee Wilson also wrote about how her husband abruptly walked out one day during the beginning of the pandemic, after bringing her her usual tea in bed and sending her his daily I love you text with 5 heart emojis. She says that he later left her a letter admitting there was another woman, and then she learned that he had used one of her recipes to make dinner to impress the OW.

This is so so classic. My husband used much of our past and things I had introduced him to, with his AP. It's eerie how often a man will take his girlfriend to the special romantic spot he always went with his wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a chilling story, but it looks like Burden has a solid support system. She’s close to her mother and stepmother, and she has her kids. I don’t know how one copes mentally though. I’d be questioning the foundations of my existence.

Just imagine having a support system, but one with a lot less money and an abusive ex who is trying to get the kids for control purposes.

And you have lots and lots and lots of divorce cases in the family court system.

Look I get that she's shattered and shaken, but she has it so much better than many of hte rest of us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a chilling story, but it looks like Burden has a solid support system. She’s close to her mother and stepmother, and she has her kids. I don’t know how one copes mentally though. I’d be questioning the foundations of my existence.

Just imagine having a support system, but one with a lot less money and an abusive ex who is trying to get the kids for control purposes.

And you have lots and lots and lots of divorce cases in the family court system.

Look I get that she's shattered and shaken, but she has it so much better than many of hte rest of us.

I don’t know why people keep harping about this. She herself acknowledges her immense privilege. Doesn’t mean that her mental anguish is any less.

Disagree though. She has time to work on herself. She has resources to process with the top experts in the country. She's been able to write it all down. And she wasn't systematically and intentionally broken by this man. Used yes. Broken on purpose, just because he's so messed up? No. So yeah - her mental anguish IS less.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a chilling story, but it looks like Burden has a solid support system. She’s close to her mother and stepmother, and she has her kids. I don’t know how one copes mentally though. I’d be questioning the foundations of my existence.

Just imagine having a support system, but one with a lot less money and an abusive ex who is trying to get the kids for control purposes.

And you have lots and lots and lots of divorce cases in the family court system.

Look I get that she's shattered and shaken, but she has it so much better than many of hte rest of us.

I don’t know why people keep harping about this. She herself acknowledges her immense privilege. Doesn’t mean that her mental anguish is any less.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid seems to have triggered a lot of abrupt marriage breakdowns. The British cookbook author Bee Wilson also wrote about how her husband abruptly walked out one day during the beginning of the pandemic, after bringing her her usual tea in bed and sending her his daily I love you text with 5 heart emojis. She says that he later left her a letter admitting there was another woman, and then she learned that he had used one of her recipes to make dinner to impress the OW.

This is so so classic. My husband used much of our past and things I had introduced him to, with his AP. It's eerie how often a man will take his girlfriend to the special romantic spot he always went with his wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid seems to have triggered a lot of abrupt marriage breakdowns. The British cookbook author Bee Wilson also wrote about how her husband abruptly walked out one day during the beginning of the pandemic, after bringing her her usual tea in bed and sending her his daily I love you text with 5 heart emojis. She says that he later left her a letter admitting there was another woman, and then she learned that he had used one of her recipes to make dinner to impress the OW.

This is so so classic. My husband used much of our past and things I had introduced him to, with his AP. It's eerie how often a man will take his girlfriend to the special romantic spot he always went with his wife.