Anonymous
Post 06/08/2015 12:13     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:The reason why the molester needs to be prosecuted is to stop them from repeating their actions. A victim often feels it was only them being abused, but it's not about the victim, it's about the abuser. Five victims for Duggar. Bill Cosby started with one victim, now numerous have come forward. Sandusky at Penn Stand numerous victims. I saw on TV the Brown daughters, the father was abusing 3 of the five kids and each thought they were the only one being abused for years. The reason it is so important to come forward and prosecute is so that there are no more victims. I recall a famous gymnast settled out of court with her trainer who abused her, only to find out 20 years later he was abusjng another young gymnast. She said her biggest regret was taking the settlement money and not prosecuting - because perhaps that might have prevented another child from being harmed by her abuser.


And they don't always get prosecuted. And not all molestors keep doing it once they get caught and/or realize what they did was wrong.
Anonymous
Post 06/08/2015 12:12     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
They did take it seriously.

What support do you have for this statement? They sent him to a Christian camp. And they put locks on the girls' door and didn't let him babysit or play hide and seek. Just fyi, if you've been molested, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. That does not equal "taking it seriously".


I was molested by a family member, and that sounds pretty damned good to me. My mom immediately flipped the fuck out, called the police, dragged me to therapy against my will and never once asked or thought about how I would have liked to have it handled. It went to court and the teenager (my step brother) who was molesting me (and doing much worse things than I've read that Josh Duggar did) faced no consequences. BUT I DID!!! I was humiliated, traumatized, and it literally tore my family apart and divided them. I was molested starting at age 7 until about 13 when I spoke up because I couldn't take it anymore. I have been an active poster on this thread in support of the Duggars, but didn't want to say what my experience was because I don't like to talk about it.


I'm the PP you are calling an asshole and that was entirely uncalled for. Read what you're writing here and check your own anger. This is a thread about the Duggars, not you and your life. If reading about it and being exposed to it brings up this much anger in you, perhaps you don't need to be clicking on this thread for your own good. Calling complete strangers assholes for expressing an opinion - time to log off my friend.


I know it's not about me, but a pp asked me what support I have for my statement above "they did take it seriously" and the pp said I wouldn't know as I hadn't been molested, when in fact I went through something very similar to the duggars, but my family put zero thought into the long term consequences of their actions and flew off the handle which caused greater harm to me. My abuser got no punishment, and no counseling. We were forced into court and he lied, so he got away with it. I got traumatized by facing him in court and having to tell what happened. I had to keep talking about it to a counselor that I didn't want to see. I lost a lot of family members because our family got ripped apart because of HOW this was handled, so I think my experience is valid in this conversation. I'm sure if I was one of the duggar haters and I was screaming about how they handled it wrong you'd be treating me differently right now. You don't like it because my experience supports the opinions of others that there different ways that this can be handled, and there isn't just one right way. The duggars did a good job of handling it. Nobody's lives were ruined until now, but even still, not ruined, just dealing with a bunch of assholes who know nothing about them.
Anonymous
Post 06/08/2015 10:21     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
The reason why the molester needs to be prosecuted is to stop them from repeating their actions. A victim often feels it was only them being abused, but it's not about the victim, it's about the abuser. Five victims for Duggar. Bill Cosby started with one victim, now numerous have come forward. Sandusky at Penn Stand numerous victims. I saw on TV the Brown daughters, the father was abusing 3 of the five kids and each thought they were the only one being abused for years. The reason it is so important to come forward and prosecute is so that there are no more victims. I recall a famous gymnast settled out of court with her trainer who abused her, only to find out 20 years later he was abusjng another young gymnast. She said her biggest regret was taking the settlement money and not prosecuting - because perhaps that might have prevented another child from being harmed by her abuser.
Anonymous
Post 06/08/2015 09:57     Subject: Re:Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Another victim here. I wish my parents had done more to help me resolve what happened, although I did never see the molester again. (I was molested repeatedly at church.) All of this Duggar business has kind of stirred things up for me. I'd like to ask my mother if she remembers what happened and can help me go through the sequence of events, but I'm afraid that it will upset her, or worse, that she won't remember something that was so traumatic for me.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 23:36     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So basically conservative Christians are supportive of child molestation?


So basically you are a bigot that stereotypes people you don't like.


It's shocking how many people on this thread are okay with child molestation. Hopefully most conservative Christians are not, but I had no idea any sane person thought that it was okay.


I know. And they call you "hateful" if you dare suggest that the parents should have actually taken it seriously. It's amazing how defensive. Makes you wonder why they identify so closely with the Duggars.


They did take it seriously.


What support do you have for this statement? They sent him to a Christian camp. And they put locks on the girls' door and didn't let him babysit or play hide and seek. Just fyi, if you've been molested, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. That does not equal "taking it seriously".


I was molested by a family member, and that sounds pretty damned good to me. My mom immediately flipped the fuck out, called the police, dragged me to therapy against my will and never once asked or thought about how I would have liked to have it handled. It went to court and the teenager (my step brother) who was molesting me (and doing much worse things than I've read that Josh Duggar did) faced no consequences. BUT I DID!!! I was humiliated, traumatized, and it literally tore my family apart and divided them. I was molested starting at age 7 until about 13 when I spoke up because I couldn't take it anymore. I have been an active poster on this thread in support of the Duggars, but didn't want to say what my experience was because I don't like to talk about it, but if you insist to challenge me, then I will tell you what I know about being molested. Are you satisfied now? And for the record, I'm doing okay in life now. My life isn't ruined, just like the Duggar sister's haven't had their lives ruined by being molested, but man, I'm sure they are loving it having all the insane Duggar haters dragging their family through the mud, i'm sure they really appreciate the fake outrage and fake sympathy .


I'm very sorry that happened to you. I can understand why you feel sympathy for their inclination to keep it private and under-react rather than overreact. But, gently, I would say that just because your situation was reported and handled in a way that wasn't adequately protective of your privacy and your emotional well-being, that doesn't mean that the right answer is to not give these molestation victims treatment, and to only very half-assedly treat the molester (which is what happened). Surely, you can see that those two alternatives aren't the only ones. The problem with minimizing it is that, while it may be what everyone involved, including the victims, want in the short-run, it doesn't work in the long-run for them.
I'm glad you've recovered from your experience.
And you are not the only person on this thread who's dealt with these issues personally. You are wrong in your assumption that the outrage and sympathy are fake. Lots of people, even those who disagree with you, are capable of real sympathy for these girls.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 23:17     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So basically conservative Christians are supportive of child molestation?


So basically you are a bigot that stereotypes people you don't like.


It's shocking how many people on this thread are okay with child molestation. Hopefully most conservative Christians are not, but I had no idea any sane person thought that it was okay.


I know. And they call you "hateful" if you dare suggest that the parents should have actually taken it seriously. It's amazing how defensive. Makes you wonder why they identify so closely with the Duggars.


They did take it seriously.


What support do you have for this statement? They sent him to a Christian camp. And they put locks on the girls' door and didn't let him babysit or play hide and seek. Just fyi, if you've been molested, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. That does not equal "taking it seriously".


I was molested by a family member, and that sounds pretty damned good to me. My mom immediately flipped the fuck out, called the police, dragged me to therapy against my will and never once asked or thought about how I would have liked to have it handled. It went to court and the teenager (my step brother) who was molesting me (and doing much worse things than I've read that Josh Duggar did) faced no consequences. BUT I DID!!! I was humiliated, traumatized, and it literally tore my family apart and divided them. I was molested starting at age 7 until about 13 when I spoke up because I couldn't take it anymore. I have been an active poster on this thread in support of the Duggars, but didn't want to say what my experience was because I don't like to talk about it, but if you insist to challenge me, then I will tell you what I know about being molested. Are you satisfied now? And for the record, I'm doing okay in life now. My life isn't ruined, just like the Duggar sister's haven't had their lives ruined by being molested, but man, I'm sure they are loving it having all the insane Duggar haters dragging their family through the mud, i'm sure they really appreciate the fake outrage and fake sympathy .
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 23:04     Subject: Re:Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:Understanding the facts, the timeline and what has taken place since - being able to take a persons word at face value. That is what a lot of the posters who are "supporting" the Duggars are able to do.

This does not make that person okay with child molestation. It just means they can look at a situation without foaming at the mouth with a visceral hate for the families religion or politics. It means they can take the facts as they are and not feel the need to embellish them, make up their own or assume more or less happened than it did.

I don't understand the constant attacks on people who want to discuss the case without hefting their pitchfork. If you don't blindly want to castrate Josh, have JimBob and Michelle thrown in jail and the rest of the children sent to CPS, then you are attacked as stupid, or a supporter of pedophiles or worse.

Its really sad and it says more about the attacker than the person saying "Hey this is a terrible thing, but in my opinion it was handled as well as can be expected."



You seem to not be reading opposing opinions very well. I can understand the facts and the timeline. I don't blindly believe everything the Duggars say. But even if I take as a given their account of events, they still handled this terribly.
No one is foaming at the mouth, by the way, or calling for castration. YOu say that because you can't logically deal with peoples' opposing viewpoints.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 23:00     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So basically conservative Christians are supportive of child molestation?


So basically you are a bigot that stereotypes people you don't like.


It's shocking how many people on this thread are okay with child molestation. Hopefully most conservative Christians are not, but I had no idea any sane person thought that it was okay.


I know. And they call you "hateful" if you dare suggest that the parents should have actually taken it seriously. It's amazing how defensive. Makes you wonder why they identify so closely with the Duggars.


They did take it seriously.


What support do you have for this statement? They sent him to a Christian camp. And they put locks on the girls' door and didn't let him babysit or play hide and seek. Just fyi, if you've been molested, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. That does not equal "taking it seriously".
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 21:58     Subject: Re:Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Understanding the facts, the timeline and what has taken place since - being able to take a persons word at face value. That is what a lot of the posters who are "supporting" the Duggars are able to do.

This does not make that person okay with child molestation. It just means they can look at a situation without foaming at the mouth with a visceral hate for the families religion or politics. It means they can take the facts as they are and not feel the need to embellish them, make up their own or assume more or less happened than it did.

I don't understand the constant attacks on people who want to discuss the case without hefting their pitchfork. If you don't blindly want to castrate Josh, have JimBob and Michelle thrown in jail and the rest of the children sent to CPS, then you are attacked as stupid, or a supporter of pedophiles or worse.

Its really sad and it says more about the attacker than the person saying "Hey this is a terrible thing, but in my opinion it was handled as well as can be expected."

Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 21:19     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So basically conservative Christians are supportive of child molestation?


So basically you are a bigot that stereotypes people you don't like.


It's shocking how many people on this thread are okay with child molestation. Hopefully most conservative Christians are not, but I had no idea any sane person thought that it was okay.


I know. And they call you "hateful" if you dare suggest that the parents should have actually taken it seriously. It's amazing how defensive. Makes you wonder why they identify so closely with the Duggars.


They did take it seriously.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 15:56     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Why do people suggest sending him to a relatives house? Would you take in a male relative who was inappropriately touching his sisters? Likely not.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 10:36     Subject: Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:Np. None of us know what transpired in that house or how we as parents would act if something like this occurred in our families. Even if the touching was not as intrusive as let's say rape or digital penetration, what josh did was aberrant. And he knew even at his young age of 14 that what he was doing was illegal, sinful, and unforgivable. A 14 year old with raging hormones still has control over his actions but Josh's desires took over. Which makes me think that He will cave to his desires sometime in the future again.


I agree that none of us knows what transpired in that house, but I disagree that we don't know how we as parents would act if something like this occurred in our families. I am sure I don't know how I would feel, but I damn sure know how I would act. And it wouldn't be to minimize it and send the kid who did it to a Christian camp for a while and then lock my daughters in their room to protect them from him. (Hello -- fire safety issue!?)
That kid would get REAL treatment for the issue, and I'd have the victims in real treatment by a real psychiatrist who made sure that THEY were being valued first and foremost. Not say "it's no big deal, let's all move on". WTF.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 10:30     Subject: Re:Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Face it, folks. For most of you posting on here, NOTHING said by anyone in the Duggar family would satisfy any of you.
It is almost as if you take joy in condemning others.
I hope and pray that none of you have anyone in your family who goes through trials in life - drugs, alcohol, or other.
Your hatefulness will do nothing to help that person heal.



Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! These people are so damned miserable and full of hate, it's unbelievable. But you can be sure that they are pointing their fingers at everyone else and calling them bigots, racists, judgmental and other words that more accurately describe themselves. They have closed their minds to different ideas, so having a conversation with them is a waste of time!


Projection is terrible problem to face alone. I say "projection" because how the heck would you know anything about any of us?

And what conversation do you feel is not being had here? The Duggar supporters here just seem to want everyone to agree that this isn't a big deal.


Im not projecting anything, I'm stating what I've observed. Also, I'm not alone, I have a family and friends. I'm a duggar supporter, and I never said it wasn't a big deal, I was molested by a step brother when I was young, so I think I know a little about whether this is a big deal or not.

My point this whole time is that many of the duggar criticizers don't give a rats ass about the duggar children and they are faking outrage because they hate the duggars all along. They are HAPPY about this, not sorry. It's a GOOD thing that this was exposed because now everyone can see how RIGHT they were all along about the duggars being freaks, bigots, hypocrites etc. I find it all so offensive and sick.

And finally, I don't need everyone to agree with me about the duggars, but that doesn't mean my opinion isn't valid. I think everyone needs to leave them alone, they are good people.


Well, you're factually incorrect. The people condemning them weren't duggar haters all along waiting. I had no interest in the Duggars at all. No opinion whatsoever. I have many conservative Christian friends and family -- no one with 19 kids, but many with 5 or 6. Good people. This behavior by the Duggars is reprehensible. They devalued their daughters by failing to fully protect them and fully deal with the problem. I absolutely condemn this, and they are not taking responsibility for their mistakes. They don't even admit any mistakes. And I'm not "gleeful" about it at all. Those poor girls.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 10:27     Subject: Re:Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Face it, folks. For most of you posting on here, NOTHING said by anyone in the Duggar family would satisfy any of you.
It is almost as if you take joy in condemning others.
I hope and pray that none of you have anyone in your family who goes through trials in life - drugs, alcohol, or other.
Your hatefulness will do nothing to help that person heal.



Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! These people are so damned miserable and full of hate, it's unbelievable. But you can be sure that they are pointing their fingers at everyone else and calling them bigots, racists, judgmental and other words that more accurately describe themselves. They have closed their minds to different ideas, so having a conversation with them is a waste of time!


Projection is terrible problem to face alone. I say "projection" because how the heck would you know anything about any of us?

And what conversation do you feel is not being had here? The Duggar supporters here just seem to want everyone to agree that this isn't a big deal.


It was handled long ago. It is no longer a big deal.


From what I've learned about how it was "handled", it wasn't "handled" adequately at all. All that was handled was a bandaid on an open wound, mostly to minimize it and protect the Duggar image and Josh's future prospects.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2015 10:26     Subject: Re:Duggar son allegedly molested girls including sisters
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Face it, folks. For most of you posting on here, NOTHING said by anyone in the Duggar family would satisfy any of you.
It is almost as if you take joy in condemning others.
I hope and pray that none of you have anyone in your family who goes through trials in life - drugs, alcohol, or other.
Your hatefulness will do nothing to help that person heal.



Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! These people are so damned miserable and full of hate, it's unbelievable. But you can be sure that they are pointing their fingers at everyone else and calling them bigots, racists, judgmental and other words that more accurately describe themselves. They have closed their minds to different ideas, so having a conversation with them is a waste of time!


What "different ideas" have we closed our minds to? The idea that molesting children is no biggie? Doesn't require real therapy for the minor-aged molester or the victims? I can open my mind to that idea and still reject it, because I've concluded that it's wrong.
I don't "hate" Josh. I think he's pretty messed up. I think the parents failed to adequately protect and get help for their daughters, and now they're minimizing in order to protect mostly themselves and partly Josh. I think that's incredibly poor parenting and immoral.
I have had people in my family with problems. I didn't hate them or judge them for it. But, then again, they didn't try to sweep their damage to other people under the rug.
It sounds to me like you are the one who can't stand other ideas. You have to name-call people who take child abuse more seriously than you do. That's pretty pathetic.