European women tend to be comfortable with the idea of attracting the male gaze and being seen as a sexual object (see also the historical popularity of high heels in Europe which serve no purpose other than sexualization of the female leg).

Anonymous wrote:Teen girl puberty is about the mating part more than the reproduction part.

But yeah, OP needs to get DD on birth control as soon as possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to ask yourself if you would feel the same way if your 13 year old son was shirtless, which is even more revealing.

If you’re okay with a boy showing skin, but not a girl, you need to address your own internalized misogyny.

I let my kid wear crop tops, etc but GMAFB. Boys aren’t as vulnerable to sexual violence or unwanted attention that can actually threaten their health and well-being. It f-ing sucks but it’s the reality. My unease at my daughter’s a$$ cheeks being visible at the mall or walking down the street is not internalized misogyny, it’s worry about attention from the wrong people.

And boys rarely dress in a revealing way! Look at their shorts.

Topless at the pool or beach sure, but in school etc boys are really covered up. This argument has beevr made any sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teen, my father came at me for wearing a t shirt he thought was too tight. He said I was trying to attract boys.

He was partly right, but mostly I wanted to appear sexually attractive for social status and power, mainly with other girls and with boys with whom I had no intention of having sexual contact.

I was also in puberty and trying to figure out what my sexual identity even was because ultimately, it’s embrace or die at that point. You can’t put it off dealing with it forever.

I didn’t know how to articulate that then so I just screamed and slammed my door.

This is what I told DD about dressing in a revealing way: you are trying to attract that kind of attention, even as you have no intention of actually having sex with the boys. You still want people to think you look sexy.

Of course, she denies it, storms up stairs and slams the door.

My DD is now a sophomore and wears crop tops, but she wears a large sports bra underneath. I have two rules: no butt curve or underboob showing.

DD tells me what she wears is actually tame compared to some girls who wear basically a strapless bra to school, and shorts so tight and short that half their butt is hanging out.

I tell DD that I don't care what other girls are wearing.

PP, there is a word for your behavior toward your daughter, and it's slut-shaming. Stop doing this. You are only hurting her, her self-esteem, and her relationship with you. My dad was the same way with me and had very similar rules to yours and said very similar things (although back then short shorts weren't quite as short and underboob was not a thing). After I left college I left home and didn't even speak to him for almost 10 years, and after that just barely.

nothing wrong with slut-shaming. slut should be shamed. if we did more of it, we wouldn't have tens of thousand of young girls on only fans (not to mention - kardashians).