Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 11:13     Subject: Re:Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
That would annoy me too, OP. My ILs would always order two entrees when it was our treat, so now I cook when we are with them instead. Just make pasta or something easy when he is around.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 11:13     Subject: Re:Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
It sounds normal to me. - mom to two teen boy athletes
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 11:09     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He’s not being rude. He’s ordering what is a meal for him. I have two college aged boys and trust me, he is not ordering too much. Also, how is he supposed to know that cost is an issue if you or your daughter don’t tell the boy? Tell him things are tight right now - ask if he could chip in or tell him that you are only ordering entrees tonight. He can’t read your mind!


You’ve reared your children poorly if they don’t know to follow the ordering cues of the host, and when in doubt, order less. I’m honestly shocked that anyone is defending this abysmal behavior. If I were the host, I’d not say anything to the child, of course, as that would be bad manners, but anyone who did this would not be invited back to my home and I’d think poorly of their parents.


I don't see any cues given by the host. I'm fairly certain my kids wouldn't have realized that their normal, modest order would be offensive to OP. OP should be happy she doesn't have boys, I guess. That just isn't a lot of food for a college male, especially if he is at all athletic.


Especially if he is eating it all and not wasting it. He is ordering what he needs to not be hungry. Would you rather he be hungry OP? Sounds like it. I would be more bothered by him being hungry in my home than him ordering more food and eating it all. Not everyone can survive off one chicken leg and a spoonful of peas.


People who have never had teenaged boys often don’t realize just how much food they need to eat at times to be full.


+1
Im on my second teen boy and I’m still shocked at how much food he can consume
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 11:00     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Anonymous wrote:Also I noticed that with the pizza example DD started it (can we have appetizer etc etc)
Maybe he follows her cues and doesn’t realize that unlike her he is only tolerated there?


Bingo. Nailed it. If I was at a friends house, and parents were buying- I wouldn’t think - ok my bf is ordered an appetizer, so I’m going to get one too. I’d restrain myself bc I’m spending someone else’s money and he’s spending his family’s money. Do you and your children lack this self awareness?
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:57     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, answer the question:

Why are you still gossiping about him when you have been given advice and even scripts about how to handle this, directly, once and for all?


Why are you still reading? OP was answering questions; you, on the other hand, have no such excuse.


No, actually,mOP has failed to answer this very simple question. Which is VERY telling.


Wait what question- why am I gossiping? Ummm I’m not? (Please google definition of gossip before replying thx)
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:52     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Also I noticed that with the pizza example DD started it (can we have appetizer etc etc)
Maybe he follows her cues and doesn’t realize that unlike her he is only tolerated there?
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:51     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, answer the question:

Why are you still gossiping about him when you have been given advice and even scripts about how to handle this, directly, once and for all?


Why are you still reading? OP was answering questions; you, on the other hand, have no such excuse.


No, actually,mOP has failed to answer this very simple question. Which is VERY telling.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:51     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
I was camp OP first but now I have a question.
Is her DS happy about having to share his pizza with mom?
And what is a cinnamon pull apartment?!
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:38     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
I really hope that my daughter’s BG doesn’t see me as a “host”. I want him to feel like he is welcome and a part of my family. This isn’t a dinner party, it’s a family dinner that he’s a part of numerous times a week. So therefore set some boundaries if money is an issue and stop complaining about how awful he is for having an appetite that most 20 year old guys have.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:37     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Yes, he’s being rude. So be kind by being extra clear:

“Hey everyone. We’re ordering take-out from Jasmine Thai. Pick one entree and text it to me.”

“I’m about to order from Chik Fil A. Pick one sandwich, a side and a drink.”

If he texts the dessert, extra sandwich, etc. just don’t order it. And if daughter or BF say that’s not enough food, simply respond with, “Hey you’re welcome to make a PBJ on your own to supplement.”

Just be clear. It’s fine. He needs some guardrails.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:37     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Anonymous wrote:OP, answer the question:

Why are you still gossiping about him when you have been given advice and even scripts about how to handle this, directly, once and for all?


Why are you still reading? OP was answering questions; you, on the other hand, have no such excuse.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:31     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
OP, answer the question:

Why are you still gossiping about him when you have been given advice and even scripts about how to handle this, directly, once and for all?
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:21     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps he’s never had to limit himself to just an entree at other people’s homes. We often get takeout when someone stays for dinner on a weeknight and it is perfectly fine with us if they order an appetizer and dessert.


Same. We had a kid order $75 worth of sushi once, and we just laughed. OP is ordering from Chick Fil A and bitching about one extra sandwich. Disgusting of her.


I mean. Calm down. I’m not complaining TO HIM or her or anyone else. I’ll never understand people who are like “YOU’RE SO RUDE”. Rude to whom? So stupid. Anyway I had no idea everyone ordered so much damn Chick-fil-A. I can’t get through one meal let alone order another sandwich. But ok fine it’s not too expensive. What prompted this post was the appetizer and dessert-I mean geez I can’t even afford to order these items for myself. If we get dessert at restaurants we share it for the table. Do you guys really order dessert when someone else is buying? And appetizers too?
E
l

NP. Here's how you are rude: easy solutions are available to you (stop ordering food so much; when you do order, set some parameters---you've been literally given scripts.) so you have your solution...

But you don't want a solution. You want to gossip. Gossip is rude.

Gasp! Gossip is rude! Don't you KNOW? Weren't you RAISED RIGHT? Gossip is rude, and the fact that you don't get that...IS THAT NORMAL?

See, all the same criticisms you can lob at your guest for being rude and clueless about food, we can lob at you about gossip.

Grow up. And stop ordering so much Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. Gross!


I’d also add that it’s incredible rude to have someone over for dinner and leave them hungry. I notice OP still have not answered the question on whether food is getting eaten - which has now been asked multiple times. Given the sheer pettiness of her posts, if there was waste or ordering for another meal, I’m sure she’d tell us. OP, be honest, do you like this guy? I asked that earlier too. Sounds like he’s over too much for your comfort.


Ha- I wasnt in DCUM all last night! Lol 😂 ummm does he it it all? I’m not sure. The Taco Bell party pack was his request- like- everyone got their own thing, and he ordered his own thing, and also requested a party pack. He did not finish the whole party pack. So for people who think this is OK, aren’t you worried that your kids will get taken out to a business lunch or a lunch for an interview or something like that, and then they’ll do something like order the most expensive thing on the menu or an appetizer and a dessert and it will reflect badly on them?
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:05     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
This thread feels like the DCUM trifecta: etiquette, money, and eating habits.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2021 10:00     Subject: Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps he’s never had to limit himself to just an entree at other people’s homes. We often get takeout when someone stays for dinner on a weeknight and it is perfectly fine with us if they order an appetizer and dessert.


Same. We had a kid order $75 worth of sushi once, and we just laughed. OP is ordering from Chick Fil A and bitching about one extra sandwich. Disgusting of her.


I mean. Calm down. I’m not complaining TO HIM or her or anyone else. I’ll never understand people who are like “YOU’RE SO RUDE”. Rude to whom? So stupid. Anyway I had no idea everyone ordered so much damn Chick-fil-A. I can’t get through one meal let alone order another sandwich. But ok fine it’s not too expensive. What prompted this post was the appetizer and dessert-I mean geez I can’t even afford to order these items for myself. If we get dessert at restaurants we share it for the table. Do you guys really order dessert when someone else is buying? And appetizers too?
E
l

NP. Here's how you are rude: easy solutions are available to you (stop ordering food so much; when you do order, set some parameters---you've been literally given scripts.) so you have your solution...

But you don't want a solution. You want to gossip. Gossip is rude.

Gasp! Gossip is rude! Don't you KNOW? Weren't you RAISED RIGHT? Gossip is rude, and the fact that you don't get that...IS THAT NORMAL?

See, all the same criticisms you can lob at your guest for being rude and clueless about food, we can lob at you about gossip.

Grow up. And stop ordering so much Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. Gross!


I’d also add that it’s incredible rude to have someone over for dinner and leave them hungry. I notice OP still have not answered the question on whether food is getting eaten - which has now been asked multiple times. Given the sheer pettiness of her posts, if there was waste or ordering for another meal, I’m sure she’d tell us. OP, be honest, do you like this guy? I asked that earlier too. Sounds like he’s over too much for your comfort.