Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 17:05     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:As the (female) aspie in the relationship, it’s not like we purposely trap our partner. It’s just the nature of aging with Aspergers. The masking that is almost easy in your twenties becomes incredibly difficult to sustain once you’re into your forties. It’s like a muscle wearing out from overuse.


Ugh.

At least you have enough self awareness to accept your Dx and masking. Most asd men do not.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 15:50     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a journalist and I once wrote an article about a sex camp so naturally I "dragged" my husband along. The workshops were extremely entertaining - bondage, knot tying, oral satisfaction etc. - with my husband eye rolling and grinning more than me. The final night was quite "open" with a great deal of sharing except by us though we did have our own fun so the others didn't think we were losers. Our friends would be shocked and our teenagers grossed out. Despite my cleansing the article as best as I could it was never published. Now I can't even imagine putting my name on it but we were young and needed the money. Other than that I've got nothing to hide!


LOL! Did you work "undercover?" Did you learn anything fun?
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 15:45     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My affair. My husband’s interest in me sexually became non existent after 20 years of marriage but otherwise we co-exist nicely. We have a DADT agreement and it works for me. This is not what I wished for in a marriage but going sex less was not an option.


Realize a lot of the men you are having sex with do not have that agreement in their marriages and you and your spouse are opening yourselves and family to danger, your kids finding out, etc if a betrayed angry spouse finds out you are screwing her husband. I hope you are keeping it to single people.
You have no idea about any of the men she is having sex with. Stop projecting your ideas on her choices.
A little of both. I ended it and got full custody. I'm an awesome father

The insanity and bitterness by female respondents on this topic is unreal. Lunatics.


I'm neither insane, nor bitter in the least. I am a man who posted the bolded statement so you are wrong on three counts. As a man who has had numerous APs over more than a decade, half of them were single women and none of the married women were found out by their spouses or anyone else. The majority of people pull this off just fine. Oh he horror if my kids had found out? Hell, they would be on my side. Trust me. They lived through my bad marriage to their mother.


So you let them grow up in the bad marriage and witness dysfunction while screwing a ton of other women instead of putting your kids first and ending the shitty marriage. Great dad


Agree. What crappy father and role model. Those extra women aren't the only ones you screwed. Your kids are doomed.
No, my kids are doing great, once I got them away from their toxic, alcoholic mother. They are thriving. My affairs did not damage them because-and I know you just can't fathom this-I'm able to keep my sex life private. If your kids know all about your sex life, that's pretty creepy. Yet its common belief here on DCUM.


Yeah ok gramps
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 15:35     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
I'm a journalist and I once wrote an article about a sex camp so naturally I "dragged" my husband along. The workshops were extremely entertaining - bondage, knot tying, oral satisfaction etc. - with my husband eye rolling and grinning more than me. The final night was quite "open" with a great deal of sharing except by us though we did have our own fun so the others didn't think we were losers. Our friends would be shocked and our teenagers grossed out. Despite my cleansing the article as best as I could it was never published. Now I can't even imagine putting my name on it but we were young and needed the money. Other than that I've got nothing to hide!
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 13:40     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:Pantyhose fetish...


Lol. I used to sell my worn pantyhose to a very successful military guy.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 12:27     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:That he serially cheated on me, is emotionally abusive behind closed doors and has a drinking problem.


Opposite here, no cheating, but she is way too quick-tempered to our kids and has a drinking problem, yet everyone thinks she is the sweetest kindest person. I jump in immediately when needed to deescalate the situation, but I'm not there 24/7.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 12:20     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:We have not had sex in 5 years


I got you beat, going on 6 years. Not all my partner's fault, cancer messed up her hormones and body, but she has absolutely no sex drive and won't even allow a hall pass. 2 great kids I'd do anything for, and that is keeping the marriage together for now.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 12:01     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who think people have no idea they are swingers are dead wrong. That news travels like wildfire.


We just recently found that that my FIL (60s) and his wife (50s) are swingers. I think it's hilarious. My H doesn't think so.

Ewww.
I'm think it's incredibly dumb and trashy, especially for post-menopausal people. I'm sure they themselves think they are oh-so-hot. Gross.


The Villages in FL has one of the highest STD rates in the country. Swinging is common there. Clearly old people find other old people attractive. I have no problem with it. I hope I having sex with my DW when we are old.
We aren't into swinging, but have a bit of an exhibition and voyeur dynamic.


The Villages - there is something about old, fat guys in Hawaiian shirts & cargo shorts and old, fat women in tent dresses swinging that is a very disturbing visual.


The OP here; they are in great shape but still old. FIL's wife shares details about their sex life with me. It' super creepy and not attractive. My H is pretty traumatized, I won't lie to you.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 11:44     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
As the (female) aspie in the relationship, it’s not like we purposely trap our partner. It’s just the nature of aging with Aspergers. The masking that is almost easy in your twenties becomes incredibly difficult to sustain once you’re into your forties. It’s like a muscle wearing out from overuse.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 11:10     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
ALL THE FARTING!

We are so ashamed.

Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 10:59     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:That DH is very unromantic and socially awkward. I knew this when I met and married him but after 11 years it takes a toll. I find him handsome but am not very attracted to him. We also argue frequently. I wish I had married someone if not romantic at least with a higher emotional IQ.

.
I think you are my wife.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 10:57     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
And they're Trump supporters because, you know, family values. Lol.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 10:10     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who think people have no idea they are swingers are dead wrong. That news travels like wildfire.


We just recently found that that my FIL (60s) and his wife (50s) are swingers. I think it's hilarious. My H doesn't think so.

Ewww.
I'm think it's incredibly dumb and trashy, especially for post-menopausal people. I'm sure they themselves think they are oh-so-hot. Gross.


The Villages in FL has one of the highest STD rates in the country. Swinging is common there. Clearly old people find other old people attractive. I have no problem with it. I hope I having sex with my DW when we are old.
We aren't into swinging, but have a bit of an exhibition and voyeur dynamic.


The Villages - there is something about old, fat guys in Hawaiian shirts & cargo shorts and old, fat women in tent dresses swinging that is a very disturbing visual.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 10:10     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
That DH is very unromantic and socially awkward. I knew this when I met and married him but after 11 years it takes a toll. I find him handsome but am not very attracted to him. We also argue frequently. I wish I had married someone if not romantic at least with a higher emotional IQ.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 10:08     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who think people have no idea they are swingers are dead wrong. That news travels like wildfire.


We just recently found that that my FIL (60s) and his wife (50s) are swingers. I think it's hilarious. My H doesn't think so.

Ewww.
I'm think it's incredibly dumb and trashy, especially for post-menopausal people. I'm sure they themselves think they are oh-so-hot. Gross.


My friends would never believe I think like this but as long as everyone is a consenting adult, more power to them. They probably have a better sex life than 90% of the people on here. FWIW, and she has never admitted this, convinced my sister and her husband swing. Just based on the couples they socialize with and little things said through time.