Anonymous
03/03/2020 13:37
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a guy who relates to people by joking around. He may not realize that he's upset you or made you feel weird. He also sounds like he is scrambling for child care and you could probably really help him out. It's your call. You are lucky to be able to stay home - not everyone is. (I'm a full-time working mom and this week is pretty much hell due to all the school closures, some last-minute, coupled with a very busy work week.) Count your blessings and maybe help the guy out - he might be able to help you out sometime in the future, or just be a better neighbor.
I hate this type of reasoning. Uh no, I am not "lucky" to get to stay home with my children. My family planned for this and we made certain sacrifices to able to do it. Life is about choices. Own yours and stop with the monologues about how "lucky" I am and how that translates into me owing you something.
OP owes her neighbor nothing. Maybe if he had manners she would be more inclined to help him. However, doing favors for people who disrespect you is always a very stupid decision.
The fact that you don't appreciate how many women in this country would love to be able to stay home with their children but cannot do so financially (and I'm not talking about because they want to take trips to Europe and send their kids to private school, I'm talking about putting food in their kids' mouths and a roof over their heads) makes you sound like a moron. The whole "owning" your life choices thing is such a disgustingly privileged thing to say.
Got it. You feel entitled to my labor for free because I’m so “lucky” to get to stay home.
YOUR attitude is disgusting. Start taking responsibility fir your own life - and yes, that includes owning your choices.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 13:35
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Charge him.
Tell him that you started a part time job watching other people's kids.
$30/hr sound reasonable?
PREACH- put some visibility on that invisible labor.
So should I charge my friends when their kids play at my house? Or if I take another kid to a birthday party?
What's your point? Are you trying to imply that childcare is not work?
There's really no way to answer you that you'll understand so just keep on "preaching" about your "invisible labor" rather than doing something about it.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 13:33
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Charge him.
Tell him that you started a part time job watching other people's kids.
$30/hr sound reasonable?
PREACH- put some visibility on that invisible labor.
So should I charge my friends when their kids play at my house? Or if I take another kid to a birthday party?
What's your point? Are you trying to imply that childcare is not work?
What’s yours? Are you saying that having birthday parties for your children’s work? Or hosting a play date?
I’m saying that charging this guy $30/hour fir childcare would be a decent part time job.
You’re the one obsessing over birthday parties and play dates.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 13:29
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a guy who relates to people by joking around. He may not realize that he's upset you or made you feel weird. He also sounds like he is scrambling for child care and you could probably really help him out. It's your call. You are lucky to be able to stay home - not everyone is. (I'm a full-time working mom and this week is pretty much hell due to all the school closures, some last-minute, coupled with a very busy work week.) Count your blessings and maybe help the guy out - he might be able to help you out sometime in the future, or just be a better neighbor.
I hate this type of reasoning. Uh no, I am not "lucky" to get to stay home with my children. My family planned for this and we made certain sacrifices to able to do it. Life is about choices. Own yours and stop with the monologues about how "lucky" I am and how that translates into me owing you something.
OP owes her neighbor nothing. Maybe if he had manners she would be more inclined to help him. However, doing favors for people who disrespect you is always a very stupid decision.
The fact that you don't appreciate how many women in this country would love to be able to stay home with their children but cannot do so financially (and I'm not talking about because they want to take trips to Europe and send their kids to private school, I'm talking about putting food in their kids' mouths and a roof over their heads) makes you sound like a moron. The whole "owning" your life choices thing is such a disgustingly privileged thing to say.
Anonymous
03/02/2020 21:37
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That’s why I don’t like Facebook.
I’m a SAHM and just recently said how amazing it felt when all 3 kids were at school and the house was quiet. So I get it. I would say this to a fellow mom who has multiple kids. I would not say this to a working mom or working dad or even my husband. Although my husband loves the rare chance when I take all 3 kids out to some outing and he gets the house to himself.
Per this thread be aware that people are judging you. If they’re at school you’re not a stay at home mom. You just stay at home.
Only disgusting, jealous people are judging you pp.
Anonymous
03/02/2020 20:06
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That’s why I don’t like Facebook.
I’m a SAHM and just recently said how amazing it felt when all 3 kids were at school and the house was quiet. So I get it. I would say this to a fellow mom who has multiple kids. I would not say this to a working mom or working dad or even my husband. Although my husband loves the rare chance when I take all 3 kids out to some outing and he gets the house to himself.
Per this thread be aware that people are judging you. If they’re at school you’re not a stay at home mom. You just stay at home.
Judging? It's simply reality. If your kids are at school you aren't working actively to take care of them. Why is this even debatable? SAHMs with school-aged kids have about six hours a day during which they are not engaged in active caretaking. Therefore, during that time, you are just staying at home. A SAHM with an infant, toddler or even a preschooler who's out of the house a few hours a week has a much harder job than you do. Once your kids are in school, the need for a SAH parent is markedly reduced.
Anonymous
03/02/2020 20:05
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He asked a yes or no question. You have two ways to respond. Yes. Or. No.
This.
Also, stop musing on FB. It’s not your diary or journal. [/quote
Odd post. That's....actually what it is. If what OP was posting was so hurtful to the neighbor he was also able to stop folliwijg/ unfriend at any time. Not OP'S problem, issue, or fault.
Anonymous
03/02/2020 20:02
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a guy who relates to people by joking around. He may not realize that he's upset you or made you feel weird. He also sounds like he is scrambling for child care and you could probably really help him out. It's your call. You are lucky to be able to stay home - not everyone is. (I'm a full-time working mom and this week is pretty much hell due to all the school closures, some last-minute, coupled with a very busy work week.) Count your blessings and maybe help the guy out - he might be able to help you out sometime in the future, or just be a better neighbor.
I hate this type of reasoning. Uh no, I am not "lucky" to get to stay home with my children. My family planned for this and we made certain sacrifices to able to do it. Life is about choices. Own yours and stop with the monologues about how "lucky" I am and how that translates into me owing you something.
OP owes her neighbor nothing. Maybe if he had manners she would be more inclined to help him. However, doing favors for people who disrespect you is always a very stupid decision.
DP. You know what type of "reasoning" (which actually has nothing to do with reason) I hate? The kind where you think your privilege is *all* due to your hard work and planning. You are lucky. No one is saying you *owe* anyone anything. The PP you quoted is saying you might just think about being a nice person. But you wouldn't really understand that kind of reasoning would you.
Anonymous
03/02/2020 19:56
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That’s why I don’t like Facebook.
I’m a SAHM and just recently said how amazing it felt when all 3 kids were at school and the house was quiet. So I get it. I would say this to a fellow mom who has multiple kids. I would not say this to a working mom or working dad or even my husband. Although my husband loves the rare chance when I take all 3 kids out to some outing and he gets the house to himself.
Per this thread be aware that people are judging you. If they’re at school you’re not a stay at home mom. You just stay at home.
My 2yo goes to preschool for 3 hours per day for 2 days.
Anonymous
03/02/2020 19:49
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Charge him.
Tell him that you started a part time job watching other people's kids.
$30/hr sound reasonable?
PREACH- put some visibility on that invisible labor.
So should I charge my friends when their kids play at my house? Or if I take another kid to a birthday party?
What's your point? Are you trying to imply that childcare is not work?
What’s yours? Are you saying that having birthday parties for your children’s work? Or hosting a play date?
Anonymous
03/02/2020 19:49
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:That’s why I don’t like Facebook.
I’m a SAHM and just recently said how amazing it felt when all 3 kids were at school and the house was quiet. So I get it. I would say this to a fellow mom who has multiple kids. I would not say this to a working mom or working dad or even my husband. Although my husband loves the rare chance when I take all 3 kids out to some outing and he gets the house to himself.
Per this thread be aware that people are judging you. If they’re at school you’re not a stay at home mom. You just stay at home.
Anonymous
03/02/2020 19:35
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP-truly nothing wrong w/you having posted -just oversharing. The guy was a jerk and tagging your DH was an ass move as he was trying to shame choices you as a couple obviously made. I would be fine to say nope and give ZERO reason or help out because I choose to be kind.
One of my best times as a parent was when I stopped working full time for nearly 6 months but kept my full time nanny. My DH & I made sacrifices to be able to afford this reset (afterwards I started my own business.) I felt no reason to hide the luxury of free time.
So one of your best times as a *parent* was...having no job and a nanny?Love to know what your "business" is.
This was priceless.
This was me. Having a full time nanny and a 4 month hiatus from working doesn't make me not a parent - just someone who has hired assistance for 40 hours a week. And as I made clear-this 4 month period was sandwiched between a (more than) full time job and the start of my own business. You don't imagine that I just woke up after 4 months and decided hmmmm I'm gonna open a business today??? I used those days to first do nothing then consider options and weigh opportunities. Keeping my nanny on during that time was worth it to both me & DH. Sure I could have fired her but I took
that free time for 40 wonderful hours a week for 4 solid months and loved every minute of it. And my parent license was never revoked- nor was my DHs for the 50 hours a week he wasn't around the kids either. Geeeezzzzz
Anonymous
03/02/2020 19:31
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
That’s why I don’t like Facebook.
I’m a SAHM and just recently said how amazing it felt when all 3 kids were at school and the house was quiet. So I get it. I would say this to a fellow mom who has multiple kids. I would not say this to a working mom or working dad or even my husband. Although my husband loves the rare chance when I take all 3 kids out to some outing and he gets the house to himself.
I’m a SAHM and just recently said how amazing it felt when all 3 kids were at school and the house was quiet. So I get it. I would say this to a fellow mom who has multiple kids. I would not say this to a working mom or working dad or even my husband. Although my husband loves the rare chance when I take all 3 kids out to some outing and he gets the house to himself.
Anonymous
03/02/2020 19:24
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Charge him.
Tell him that you started a part time job watching other people's kids.
$30/hr sound reasonable?
PREACH- put some visibility on that invisible labor.
So should I charge my friends when their kids play at my house? Or if I take another kid to a birthday party?
What's your point? Are you trying to imply that childcare is not work?
Anonymous
03/02/2020 19:20
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a guy who relates to people by joking around. He may not realize that he's upset you or made you feel weird. He also sounds like he is scrambling for child care and you could probably really help him out. It's your call. You are lucky to be able to stay home - not everyone is. (I'm a full-time working mom and this week is pretty much hell due to all the school closures, some last-minute, coupled with a very busy work week.) Count your blessings and maybe help the guy out - he might be able to help you out sometime in the future, or just be a better neighbor.
I hate this type of reasoning. Uh no, I am not "lucky" to get to stay home with my children. My family planned for this and we made certain sacrifices to able to do it. Life is about choices. Own yours and stop with the monologues about how "lucky" I am and how that translates into me owing you something.
OP owes her neighbor nothing. Maybe if he had manners she would be more inclined to help him. However, doing favors for people who disrespect you is always a very stupid decision.