Pressure from medical personnel is different from societal pressure, which is what I was talking about.

Example: Baby has dairy allergy- literally everyone says dont BF, formula will be easier..why are you dairy-free, just give the baby formula. Over and Over. Formula is accepted socially. Its in every grocery store, in every Target/Walmart, you can order it online. You dont have to jump through hoops to get formula, you dont need a doctors RX for formula (and therefore, their permission)- and before I get vitriol- I do believe it should be readily accessible and no one should be shamed for how they choose to feed their child.

Medical personnel are encouraging of breastfeeding because it does have benefits to the mother and child.

If you disagree with how they are approaching this topic, say so. They work for you. Give feedback to your providers and say that the question should be:

"I noted that you put a question mark for whether you plan to breastfeed. Would you like to discuss the pros and cons of both breastfeeding and formula and/or talk about how we can support you with either choice?"

The problem with the breastfeeding initiative and BFHI by UNICEF and WHO is that initiatives have to show results in order to continue. So there is this HUGE push before and at delivery but there is no continual support after delivery and/or post-partum.

There is no support (LC or nurse) to go to the mom in the week/weeks after delivery to assess how feeding is going and/or to provide help, look for tongue/lip ties, assess swallow reflex, look for torticollis, etc. There is no leave policy to give moms and dads time off work. Its insane.

Anonymous wrote:Yall are out of your minds. I have NEVER heard or seen a mom who is feeding her child formula shamed. Not ever. I have worked with kids and their families on/off for 15 years. Never heard any other moms talk about it, never seen facebook posts about it, etc.

I do see moms who BF in public ridiculed. I do see posts about it, I have seen it happen in person, and I have experienced it. I do see women ridiculed for breastfeeding more than 3 months, more than 6 months, more than a year. Never hear ANYONE ridicule a mom for using formula for 3 months or 6 months or expect them to switch to something else.

And for the previously linked Harvard article, she doesnt waffle on the benefits of BM. Its not bottle feeding (formula or BM) that prevents obesity. Breastmilk from the breast is how nature intended babies to be fed.

I am apprehensive about it, particularly the hospital experience directly after birth bc of my experience so far on this topic at the hospital where I plan to deliver. Please note: I am very happy with my OB and dont have plans to change because of other medical concerns.

At my my first OB visit I filled out a bunch of paperwork before the appt., didnt really think much about it. One question was: do you plan to breastfeed Y/N. I put "?" bc I was 10 weeks after multiple miscarriages and hadnt really thought about the topic bc I was focused on making it to the 2nd trimester.

After my OB appt., I did a welcome visit with a nurse where we went over a bunch of stuff, flu shot, things to eat/not eat, etc. She flips through the paperwork to the breast feeding part and says "Can you tell me more about why you are NOT planning to breast feed?" I was taking aback by her phrasing bc my answer was not no, it was undecided. I explained I was open to it but I hadnt thought much about it bc its too soon. She rather ominously says "well we are a VERY breast friendly hospital here" and then goes into a whole lecture on why breast feeding is good. It was defin a full court press but I found her arguments dumb and unconvincing: you will lose the baby weight faster, you will save $. I get it that those things may be true but Id be more swayed by arguments on the benefits for my baby than my vanity or pocketbook.

This one experience has steeled me that I am going to get more of this pressure after my delivery if I dont do what they want. But the reality is all the hospital options are members of the so-called "baby friendly" initiative so its not like I can go somewhere else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While you debate, this new mom needs support. Everyone digging in and needing “proof” their choice is the provable ultimate right (righteous) way is the problem. Also perhaps we need to look at having more staff in hospitals to support feeding methods. That LC might have been having an off day, or is an ass. Who knows? But this bickering does nothing to help that family beyond add stress. The need to debate on this board is so off putting and makes an overwhelming time when you’re looking for advice so isolating. The whatever is best debate is tired.

I don't know if you noticed, but the OP is not the new mom and is not asking for advice.

She was looking for advice for her friend, who had just given birth. It might’ve been her later post where she asked for resources.

Oh come on, that obviously wasn't the purpose of her original post. You are being needlessly sanctimonious.

Read the last paragraph of her second post. And I’m not being sanctimonious. I’m just over people feeling like they need to debate stuff into the ground. There is no “mommy war” there’s just a bunch of people who want the last word. Or more likely feel like they’re not being heard at all.

Yes you are, when this is your response to a thread about how lactivists are mean girls lol

Are you actually 12?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While you debate, this new mom needs support. Everyone digging in and needing “proof” their choice is the provable ultimate right (righteous) way is the problem. Also perhaps we need to look at having more staff in hospitals to support feeding methods. That LC might have been having an off day, or is an ass. Who knows? But this bickering does nothing to help that family beyond add stress. The need to debate on this board is so off putting and makes an overwhelming time when you’re looking for advice so isolating. The whatever is best debate is tired.

I don't know if you noticed, but the OP is not the new mom and is not asking for advice.

She was looking for advice for her friend, who had just given birth. It might’ve been her later post where she asked for resources.

Oh come on, that obviously wasn't the purpose of her original post. You are being needlessly sanctimonious.

Read the last paragraph of her second post. And I’m not being sanctimonious. I’m just over people feeling like they need to debate stuff into the ground. There is no “mommy war” there’s just a bunch of people who want the last word. Or more likely feel like they’re not being heard at all.

Yes you are, when this is your response to a thread about how lactivists are mean girls lol

Taunting = mean girl. Hello?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While you debate, this new mom needs support. Everyone digging in and needing “proof” their choice is the provable ultimate right (righteous) way is the problem. Also perhaps we need to look at having more staff in hospitals to support feeding methods. That LC might have been having an off day, or is an ass. Who knows? But this bickering does nothing to help that family beyond add stress. The need to debate on this board is so off putting and makes an overwhelming time when you’re looking for advice so isolating. The whatever is best debate is tired.

I don't know if you noticed, but the OP is not the new mom and is not asking for advice.

She was looking for advice for her friend, who had just given birth. It might’ve been her later post where she asked for resources.

Oh come on, that obviously wasn't the purpose of her original post. You are being needlessly sanctimonious.

Read the last paragraph of her second post. And I’m not being sanctimonious. I’m just over people feeling like they need to debate stuff into the ground. There is no “mommy war” there’s just a bunch of people who want the last word. Or more likely feel like they’re not being heard at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While you debate, this new mom needs support. Everyone digging in and needing “proof” their choice is the provable ultimate right (righteous) way is the problem. Also perhaps we need to look at having more staff in hospitals to support feeding methods. That LC might have been having an off day, or is an ass. Who knows? But this bickering does nothing to help that family beyond add stress. The need to debate on this board is so off putting and makes an overwhelming time when you’re looking for advice so isolating. The whatever is best debate is tired.

I don't know if you noticed, but the OP is not the new mom and is not asking for advice.

She was looking for advice for her friend, who had just given birth. It might’ve been her later post where she asked for resources.

Oh come on, that obviously wasn't the purpose of her original post. You are being needlessly sanctimonious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While you debate, this new mom needs support. Everyone digging in and needing “proof” their choice is the provable ultimate right (righteous) way is the problem. Also perhaps we need to look at having more staff in hospitals to support feeding methods. That LC might have been having an off day, or is an ass. Who knows? But this bickering does nothing to help that family beyond add stress. The need to debate on this board is so off putting and makes an overwhelming time when you’re looking for advice so isolating. The whatever is best debate is tired.

I don't know if you noticed, but the OP is not the new mom and is not asking for advice.

She was looking for advice for her friend, who had just given birth. It might’ve been her later post where she asked for resources.

Anonymous wrote:While you debate, this new mom needs support. Everyone digging in and needing “proof” their choice is the provable ultimate right (righteous) way is the problem. Also perhaps we need to look at having more staff in hospitals to support feeding methods. That LC might have been having an off day, or is an ass. Who knows? But this bickering does nothing to help that family beyond add stress. The need to debate on this board is so off putting and makes an overwhelming time when you’re looking for advice so isolating. The whatever is best debate is tired.

I don't know if you noticed, but the OP is not the new mom and is not asking for advice.

While you debate, this new mom needs support. Everyone digging in and needing “proof” their choice is the provable ultimate right (righteous) way is the problem. Also perhaps we need to look at having more staff in hospitals to support feeding methods. That LC might have been having an off day, or is an ass. Who knows? But this bickering does nothing to help that family beyond add stress. The need to debate on this board is so off putting and makes an overwhelming time when you’re looking for advice so isolating. The whatever is best debate is tired.

Anonymous wrote:Yall are out of your minds. I have NEVER heard or seen a mom who is feeding her child formula shamed. Not ever. I have worked with kids and their families on/off for 15 years. Never heard any other moms talk about it, never seen facebook posts about it, etc.

I do see moms who BF in public ridiculed. I do see posts about it, I have seen it happen in person, and I have experienced it. I do see women ridiculed for breastfeeding more than 3 months, more than 6 months, more than a year. Never hear ANYONE ridicule a mom for using formula for 3 months or 6 months or expect them to switch to something else.

And for the previously linked Harvard article, she doesnt waffle on the benefits of BM. Its not bottle feeding (formula or BM) that prevents obesity. Breastmilk from the breast is how nature intended babies to be fed.

Cool. Since you're the arbiter of all experiences, I have personally been shamed because I had to use formula to feed my baby. And in this case I was supplementing with formula while pumping myself raw to get a couple other bottles. Why not just breastfeed? Tried it. Tried nursing for pretty much every waking hour of the day and my baby was still losing weight. Just as nature intended, I guess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fact: breastmilk is nutritionally and immunologically superior to formula because it is perfectly tailored to the baby of the person who is producing it.
https://www.thestranger.com/features/feature/2015/08/26/22755273/the-more-i-learn-about-breast-milk-the-more-amazed-i-am

Fact: formula is a healthy alternative and babies who eat it will thrive.

Fact: in certain circumstances formula is a better (or best or only) choice than breastmilk.

Fact: modern society has made it incredibly difficult for women to breastfeed, and for some nearly impossible.

That LC was out of line, extremely unprofessional, and hopefully she was reprimanded harshly for her behavior.


I wholeheartedly recommend the book the article linked above is excerpted from. Best pregnancy book I’ve ever read.

You honestly can't win. People get aghast when women breastfeed in public, but people also get aghast when women mix a bottle of formula in public. Obviously the answer is either babies should not eat, or mother and baby should hide away for a year until baby is able to eat table food and drink from a sippy cup so the general public is no longer offended.

The only thing that is winning is your baby surviving and thriving. Bonus feel-good points if you can shrug off what other people think/say about your choices, including so-called professionals.

Yall are out of your minds. I have NEVER heard or seen a mom who is feeding her child formula shamed. Not ever. I have worked with kids and their families on/off for 15 years. Never heard any other moms talk about it, never seen facebook posts about it, etc.

I do see moms who BF in public ridiculed. I do see posts about it, I have seen it happen in person, and I have experienced it. I do see women ridiculed for breastfeeding more than 3 months, more than 6 months, more than a year. Never hear ANYONE ridicule a mom for using formula for 3 months or 6 months or expect them to switch to something else.

And for the previously linked Harvard article, she doesnt waffle on the benefits of BM. Its not bottle feeding (formula or BM) that prevents obesity. Breastmilk from the breast is how nature intended babies to be fed.

Serious question that I am sure will cause more problems. But arent most of the studies about the benefits of breast milk showing a correlation link not a causal link?

I feel like im getting screamed at about the science by ppl who dont necessarily understand the science (not that I am an expert myself which is why I raise the question). Example this discussion of breast milk and obesity in kids. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-real-link-between-breastfeeding-and-preventing-obesity-2018101614998

People who say its fine to not breast feed seem to cede any points about the science (which implies that the points are valid or too difficult to argue). Instead their argument is benefits are minor but holistically can become overcome by other negative impacts.

Anonymous wrote:Fact: breastmilk is nutritionally and immunologically superior to formula because it is perfectly tailored to the baby of the person who is producing it.
https://www.thestranger.com/features/feature/2015/08/26/22755273/the-more-i-learn-about-breast-milk-the-more-amazed-i-am

Fact: formula is a healthy alternative and babies who eat it will thrive.

Fact: in certain circumstances formula is a better (or best or only) choice than breastmilk.

Fact: modern society has made it incredibly difficult for women to breastfeed, and for some nearly impossible.

That LC was out of line, extremely unprofessional, and hopefully she was reprimanded harshly for her behavior.


I wholeheartedly recommend the book the article linked above is excerpted from. Best pregnancy book I’ve ever read.

You honestly can't win. People get aghast when women breastfeed in public, but people also get aghast when women mix a bottle of formula in public. Obviously the answer is either babies should not eat, or mother and baby should hide away for a year until baby is able to eat table food and drink from a sippy cup so the general public is no longer offended.

Fact: breastmilk is nutritionally and immunologically superior to formula because it is perfectly tailored to the baby of the person who is producing it.
https://www.thestranger.com/features/feature/2015/08/26/22755273/the-more-i-learn-about-breast-milk-the-more-amazed-i-am

Fact: formula is a healthy alternative and babies who eat it will thrive.

Fact: in certain circumstances formula is a better (or best or only) choice than breastmilk.

Fact: modern society has made it incredibly difficult for women to breastfeed, and for some nearly impossible.

That LC was out of line, extremely unprofessional, and hopefully she was reprimanded harshly for her behavior.


I wholeheartedly recommend the book the article linked above is excerpted from. Best pregnancy book I’ve ever read.