Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we are traveling, and I have not been able to check in. Wow, I am seeing some crazy comments here. I am not going to go into more details about how things exactly happened and how our aftercare functions, but many of the things some of you described is incorrect.

It is surprising to me how some of you view the world. The way you think no-one but you should be able to talk to your child. I am not a stranger to those kid; the four kids (my two and the other two siblings) spend the entire afternoon together in aftercare 5 days a week, every single week. They are friends. Most of the time I arrive a bit earlier than the other Mother and the kids are playing together and I say hello to those other kids. They are nice kids, nice to me and my kids. But kids fight, but next day they make up. The kids are nice. The mother is not friendly and never says hello to me or my kids. Maybe she thinks that's normal, but it is not normal for me. The aftercare does not have sufficient supervision. I was nice to those kids when I chatted with them. It was not a lecture. It was a usual chat and I included maybe once sentence about what happened the day before. And the next day all four of them played together again, as they usually do.

There is so much drama in E.S. aftercare, it is not easy sometimes to manage kids of different grade levels who are still learning how to socialize. It's much more challenging than the regular classrooms where kids are more or less the same age.

You don’t get it. In their mind, you’re two friends’ parent and maybe an adult acquaintance. You aren’t a friend of the parent or child. You only know the kids in one small way, and it does NOT give you the right to act like you know how their parent wants them act!

Of course I am not the Mother's friend, and not a friend of the two kids. I am the mother of my kids' friends. We have invited these kids to my kids b'day party. Those two kids have invited my kids to their b'day party. They have attended a common friend's birthday party. I am not representing their Mother when I talk to them. Don't be so weird. There is no such rule that only the parents can talk to children. People do not live in their individual bubbles. We are all part of a community. Too bad that many of you prefer to isolate your kids from natural human interaction. And sorry, but my kids are not the snowflakes and I am not the helicopter parent. It's the other way around. You are the helicopter parents and your kids are the snowflakes - those who posted that no other adults should be able to interact with their kids. Thank god I did not grow up in a society with these kind of values. Must be exhausting, fearful and very isolating.

Why did you post in the first place if you didn’t want to understand?

OP here - now, I understand how many people think I guess. But I do not prescribe to this world view, that's all. Thankfully, I see that there are people who think it is ok to engage with kids other than my own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTH people!? It takes a village. It is perfectly fine to correct someone else’s children or instruct them politely in what’s expected in your home or some other setting. Parents who are not OK with this are raising spoiled entitled brats. We had friends over the other night and their 4 year olds went into our pantry and started getting food out, Unpacking it, making a mess and helping themselves to it all over the kitchen counter. The parents didn’t say anything so I did. Not a big deal, I didn’t shame them or yell at them, I just let them know that if they wanted something we would help them get it out and they could eat it at the table. I have 3 kids and I hope that other adults will help them by guiding behavior if I’m not there to do it and they need a reminder.

This is a different situation. You directly witnessed the bad behavior. OP did not, and is going off of her child's report.

OP here - and the aftercare workers' report, just to clarify.

Anonymous wrote:WTH people!? It takes a village. It is perfectly fine to correct someone else’s children or instruct them politely in what’s expected in your home or some other setting. Parents who are not OK with this are raising spoiled entitled brats. We had friends over the other night and their 4 year olds went into our pantry and started getting food out, Unpacking it, making a mess and helping themselves to it all over the kitchen counter. The parents didn’t say anything so I did. Not a big deal, I didn’t shame them or yell at them, I just let them know that if they wanted something we would help them get it out and they could eat it at the table. I have 3 kids and I hope that other adults will help them by guiding behavior if I’m not there to do it and they need a reminder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we are traveling, and I have not been able to check in. Wow, I am seeing some crazy comments here. I am not going to go into more details about how things exactly happened and how our aftercare functions, but many of the things some of you described is incorrect.

It is surprising to me how some of you view the world. The way you think no-one but you should be able to talk to your child. I am not a stranger to those kid; the four kids (my two and the other two siblings) spend the entire afternoon together in aftercare 5 days a week, every single week. They are friends. Most of the time I arrive a bit earlier than the other Mother and the kids are playing together and I say hello to those other kids. They are nice kids, nice to me and my kids. But kids fight, but next day they make up. The kids are nice. The mother is not friendly and never says hello to me or my kids. Maybe she thinks that's normal, but it is not normal for me. The aftercare does not have sufficient supervision. I was nice to those kids when I chatted with them. It was not a lecture. It was a usual chat and I included maybe once sentence about what happened the day before. And the next day all four of them played together again, as they usually do.

There is so much drama in E.S. aftercare, it is not easy sometimes to manage kids of different grade levels who are still learning how to socialize. It's much more challenging than the regular classrooms where kids are more or less the same age.

You don’t get it. In their mind, you’re two friends’ parent and maybe an adult acquaintance. You aren’t a friend of the parent or child. You only know the kids in one small way, and it does NOT give you the right to act like you know how their parent wants them act!

Of course I am not the Mother's friend, and not a friend of the two kids. I am the mother of my kids' friends. We have invited these kids to my kids b'day party. Those two kids have invited my kids to their b'day party. They have attended a common friend's birthday party. I am not representing their Mother when I talk to them. Don't be so weird. There is no such rule that only the parents can talk to children. People do not live in their individual bubbles. We are all part of a community. Too bad that many of you prefer to isolate your kids from natural human interaction. And sorry, but my kids are not the snowflakes and I am not the helicopter parent. It's the other way around. You are the helicopter parents and your kids are the snowflakes - those who posted that no other adults should be able to interact with their kids. Thank god I did not grow up in a society with these kind of values. Must be exhausting, fearful and very isolating.

Anonymous wrote:OP here- helicopter parents, calm down. I asked aftercare provider if I did something wrong and what the rules of engagement were and if it was against the rules to engage with friends of my kids. I am not going to explain every detail of the situation. Aftercare provider is very professional. I don’t want to be friends with other parent, but find her rude, given the circumstances, i. e. Kids have bern friends for a few years now. My post was asking if I am not supposed to talk to other kids at aftercare. I was not asking for your opinion if you think I am nice or not. I know I am nice to those kids and all of my kids’ friends. I did nothing wrong, but I know that many parents are sensitive if the parent of their friend will talk to them, unless it is telling them how wonderful they are or if do small talk.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - guys, it's fine. I get it: in this society, many parents don't know how to handle if another adult engages with their kid. No further comments needed, thanks. I talked to the aftercare provider and the person said I did nothing wrong and the other parent is just very defensive, probably has her reasons, who knows what's going on in their life. I would be happy if this happened to my kids and I would welcome helpful interactions from other adults. So that's it, no further comments needed, thanks for your feedback, all!

Anonymous wrote:OP here- helicopter parents, calm down. I asked aftercare provider if I did something wrong and what the rules of engagement were and if it was against the rules to engage with friends of my kids. I am not going to explain every detail of the situation. Aftercare provider is very professional. I don’t want to be friends with other parent, but find her rude, given the circumstances, i. e. Kids have bern friends for a few years now. My post was asking if I am not supposed to talk to other kids at aftercare. I was not asking for your opinion if you think I am nice or not. I know I am nice to those kids and all of my kids’ friends. I did nothing wrong, but I know that many parents are sensitive if the parent of their friend will talk to them, unless it is telling them how wonderful they are or if do small talk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTH people!? It takes a village. It is perfectly fine to correct someone else’s children or instruct them politely in what’s expected in your home or some other setting. Parents who are not OK with this are raising spoiled entitled brats. We had friends over the other night and their 4 year olds went into our pantry and started getting food out, Unpacking it, making a mess and helping themselves to it all over the kitchen counter. The parents didn’t say anything so I did. Not a big deal, I didn’t shame them or yell at them, I just let them know that if they wanted something we would help them get it out and they could eat it at the table. I have 3 kids and I hope that other adults will help them by guiding behavior if I’m not there to do it and they need a reminder.

This is a different situation. You directly witnessed the bad behavior. OP did not, and is going off of her child's report.

OP here - and the aftercare workers' report, just to clarify.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I said I talked to them nicely and I was nice to them. Not that I am nice... but since you were not there, how would you know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is hung up on how nice she thinks she is. Keeps reiterating how nice she was, usual chat about her kid being excluded. Sounds like a phone call, a perfect phone call.

OP, it doesn't matter how nice you think you are. I guarantee you are not perceived way. You sound like a PITA.

OP- no, I have not been saying how nice I was or m. I think I act normal. Act natural. Act human. And I did not think I overstepped. That's all.

Just because you don’t think you overstepped doesn’t mean you didn’t overstep.

Something is going on if this other parent is deliberately avoiding you. You appear to be missing out on social cues here. She is just too nice to say something to you.

OP here - how about this: maybe the other parent has no manners. Even the aftercare provider commented. Since you are not there, how would you know.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - guys, it's fine. I get it: in this society, many parents don't know how to handle if another adult engages with their kid. No further comments needed, thanks. I talked to the aftercare provider and the person said I did nothing wrong and the other parent is just very defensive, probably has her reasons, who knows what's going on in their life. I would be happy if this happened to my kids and I would welcome helpful interactions from other adults. So that's it, no further comments needed, thanks for your feedback, all!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is hung up on how nice she thinks she is. Keeps reiterating how nice she was, usual chat about her kid being excluded. Sounds like a phone call, a perfect phone call.

OP, it doesn't matter how nice you think you are. I guarantee you are not perceived way. You sound like a PITA.

OP- no, I have not been saying how nice I was or m. I think I act normal. Act natural. Act human. And I did not think I overstepped. That's all.

Just because you don’t think you overstepped doesn’t mean you didn’t overstep.

Something is going on if this other parent is deliberately avoiding you. You appear to be missing out on social cues here. She is just too nice to say something to you.