Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as someone who is currently dealing with the CPS..... I hope OP is correct that it merits getting them involved

What exactly would you do under these circumstances?
Chat with the mother who allows her boy to assault her daughter?

I can imagine a scenario where giving your sister "kiss attacks" is meant to be playful and not some form of crazy sex abuse, but if OP is considering calling CPS, maybe it looks very bad and her judgment is similar to mine.

I would be careful with such a strong accusation, but I am not sure what I would do if I were in her shoes either

But yes, right now I am dealing with a CPS situation that is total BS and it is not fun at all, so I would be careful about wishing that on someone else

The fact is that he is sexually assaulting her IN PUBLIC.
Do you understand????

Every scenario where a brother lays on his sister and kisses her is sex assault in your mind? I didn't have a sister, but I wrestled my brother a lot and no one accused me of trying to rape him

Go back and reread the entire thread, you moron.

maybe my posts were dumb
which things did I miss that made you say that?

Anonymous wrote:If he's doing stuff like this in public this family's sense of what is normal is totally off. All of them. And he's used to getting whatever he wants. And his mom enforces that they share a room (not normal) even when sharing a vacation house with another family.

It would not surprise me at all if genital touching of some sort is happening.

Op said the mother doesn’t say no to her boy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as someone who is currently dealing with the CPS..... I hope OP is correct that it merits getting them involved

What exactly would you do under these circumstances?
Chat with the mother who allows her boy to assault her daughter?

I can imagine a scenario where giving your sister "kiss attacks" is meant to be playful and not some form of crazy sex abuse, but if OP is considering calling CPS, maybe it looks very bad and her judgment is similar to mine.

I would be careful with such a strong accusation, but I am not sure what I would do if I were in her shoes either

But yes, right now I am dealing with a CPS situation that is total BS and it is not fun at all, so I would be careful about wishing that on someone else

The fact is that he is sexually assaulting her IN PUBLIC.
Do you understand????

Every scenario where a brother lays on his sister and kisses her is sex assault in your mind? I didn't have a sister, but I wrestled my brother a lot and no one accused me of trying to rape him

Go back and reread the entire thread, you moron.

Anonymous wrote:I posed a while back -- I am not convinced penetration has occurred. But, his behavior is inappropriate.

There is a lot of sexual abuse that is not rape.

Unwanted kissing (particularly on the mouth)
Unwanted touching (particularly in the bathing-suit areas)
Threatening (I will do something to you)
etc.

OP says touching....there is touching to annoy people -- kids are good at that. Like on the back or arm.

And lying on top is wrestling. Siblings sometime wrestle.

But, clearly she is saying no -- she as a right to say no. He is not respecting that.

So to me the questions on actions are:
1) is behavior sexual, or is it adults sexualizing children playing? (I do not know)
2) Is he touching her in her privates?
3) Is he getting off sexually on it?

Frankly a 13 yo sharing a room with a 10 yo of the opposite sex is a bad situation and can lead to a lot of sexual frustration.

(When I was a young teen, I did not really understand the privacy issues with masturbation).

Or more to the point, a sexually abusive boy in a private room with his victim all night, every night - can easily lead to rape. His parents are ok with his forcible kissing her.
I hope the victim has relatives or other caring adults who can protect her from her monster brother.

and when I talk about a harmless kissing, I imagine something meant to tickle her and make her laugh - not on the mouth or something

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as someone who is currently dealing with the CPS..... I hope OP is correct that it merits getting them involved

What exactly would you do under these circumstances?
Chat with the mother who allows her boy to assault her daughter?

I can imagine a scenario where giving your sister "kiss attacks" is meant to be playful and not some form of crazy sex abuse, but if OP is considering calling CPS, maybe it looks very bad and her judgment is similar to mine.

I would be careful with such a strong accusation, but I am not sure what I would do if I were in her shoes either

But yes, right now I am dealing with a CPS situation that is total BS and it is not fun at all, so I would be careful about wishing that on someone else

The fact is that he is sexually assaulting her IN PUBLIC.
Do you understand????

Every scenario where a brother lays on his sister and kisses her is sex assault in your mind? I didn't have a sister, but I wrestled my brother a lot and no one accused me of trying to rape him

I posed a while back -- I am not convinced penetration has occurred. But, his behavior is inappropriate.

There is a lot of sexual abuse that is not rape.

Unwanted kissing (particularly on the mouth)
Unwanted touching (particularly in the bathing-suit areas)
Threatening (I will do something to you)
etc.

OP says touching....there is touching to annoy people -- kids are good at that. Like on the back or arm.

And lying on top is wrestling. Siblings sometime wrestle.

But, clearly she is saying no -- she as a right to say no. He is not respecting that.

So to me the questions on actions are:
1) is behavior sexual, or is it adults sexualizing children playing? (I do not know)
2) Is he touching her in her privates?
3) Is he getting off sexually on it?

Frankly a 13 yo sharing a room with a 10 yo of the opposite sex is a bad situation and can lead to a lot of sexual frustration.

(When I was a young teen, I did not really understand the privacy issues with masturbation).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as someone who is currently dealing with the CPS..... I hope OP is correct that it merits getting them involved

What exactly would you do under these circumstances?
Chat with the mother who allows her boy to assault her daughter?

I can imagine a scenario where giving your sister "kiss attacks" is meant to be playful and not some form of crazy sex abuse, but if OP is considering calling CPS, maybe it looks very bad and her judgment is similar to mine.

I would be careful with such a strong accusation, but I am not sure what I would do if I were in her shoes either

But yes, right now I am dealing with a CPS situation that is total BS and it is not fun at all, so I would be careful about wishing that on someone else

The fact is that he is sexually assaulting her IN PUBLIC.
Do you understand????

If he's doing stuff like this in public this family's sense of what is normal is totally off. All of them. And he's used to getting whatever he wants. And his mom enforces that they share a room (not normal) even when sharing a vacation house with another family.

It would not surprise me at all if genital touching of some sort is happening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as someone who is currently dealing with the CPS..... I hope OP is correct that it merits getting them involved

What exactly would you do under these circumstances?
Chat with the mother who allows her boy to assault her daughter?

I can imagine a scenario where giving your sister "kiss attacks" is meant to be playful and not some form of crazy sex abuse, but if OP is considering calling CPS, maybe it looks very bad and her judgment is similar to mine.

I would be careful with such a strong accusation, but I am not sure what I would do if I were in her shoes either

But yes, right now I am dealing with a CPS situation that is total BS and it is not fun at all, so I would be careful about wishing that on someone else

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why exactly does anyone think he isn’t raping her at night - when he has every opportunity - and obviously has raging sexual (sick) attraction towards her?

Same reason why a lot of men look at child porn, or rape fantasy porn, or incest porn, but most of those men don't 1) have sex with children, 2) go out and rape a stranger, or 3) have sex with their aunts. IT'S A HUGE LEAP.

Who exactly IS sexually abusing kids, if it isn't someone behaving the way the son in the OP is? Who is it exactly? Because it is happening to kids. Maybe this kid isn't but it isn't helpful to the conversation to act like it is super rare. It isn't rare. And if this girl isn't being sexually abused, the behavior of her brother puts her at huge risk of being victimized by someone else.



https://www.thoughtco.com/facts-about-child-sexual-abuse-statistics-3533871

The almost 90,000 cases of child sexual abuse reported each year fall far short of the actual number.
An estimated 25% of girls and 16% of boys experience sexual abuse before they turn 18 years old.
Of all victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement agencies
67% were under age 18
34% were under age 12
14% were under age 6
Of offenders who victimized children under age 6, 40% were under age 18.

Despite what children are taught about "stranger danger," most child victims are abused by someone they know and trust. When the abuser is not a family member, the victim is more often a boy than a girl.
Often, a parent's connection (or lack thereof) to his/her child puts that child at greater risk of being sexually abused. The following characteristics are indicators of increased risk:
parental inadequacy
parental unavailability
parent-child conflict
the poor parent-child relationship

Children are most vulnerable to sexual abuse between the ages of 7 and 13.
Child sexual abuse involves coercion and occasionally violence.

Girls are the victims of incest and/or intrafamily sexual abuse much more frequently than boys. Between 33-50% of perpetrators who sexually abuse girls are family members, while only 10-20% of those who sexually abuse boys are intrafamily perpetrators. Intrafamily abuse continues over a longer period of time than sexual abuse outside the family, and some forms -- such as parent-child abuse -- have more serious and lasting consequences.(Finkelhor, 1994.)

Behavioral changes are often the first signs of sexual abuse.
The consequences of child sexual abuse are wide-ranging and varied. They can include:
chronic depression
low self-esteem
sexual dysfunction
multiple personalities

Thank you for all of this. Naive adults need to be educated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

He's a boy that is past puberty and has male hormones raging through his system that he's never had before. He doesn't know what is right and what is wrong. If he knows about the birds and the bees, he probably thinks that penetration is the only thing that qualifies as inappropriate behavior. But a hormonal heterosexual teenager who is in a bathing suit and is grabbing a girl and potentially rubbing his genitals against her, even playfully, and even if it is his sister is inappropriate behavior. But he has no way of knowing this unless he's been reading or his parents have taught him. Since his parents are clueless about this being an issue, they need to be instructed that this is wrong and that they need to step up as parents and teach him appropriate boundaries. As a post-pubescent male he needs to observe personal space rules and needs to learn about inappropriate touching which includes what OP has written about.

OP, you need to talk to his parents and let them find a way to teach him in private about boundaries and appropriate vs inappropriate behavior and touching.

I totally agree with all this - and still think the posters yelling about CPS and “there is no way he isn’t forcibly raping her” need to take a moment and calm dkwn

You seem to think that CPS should only get involved after a 10 year old has definitively been penetrated. It's concerning.

You are so naive. A cps call could ruin that family’s life. Including the girls. What is op going to say? “I see him hug her a lot and he seems possessive”?

I've worked with sexually abused kids. I'm not trying to get int a tit for tat with you, but I am not the one being naive in this conversation. You're saying he's just trying to get away with copping a little feel, rubbing up on her, all he needs is someone to say "we can see you" and he'll stop.

But then you turn around and COMPLETELY ignore the fact that he's alone with her, all night, every night, behind closed doors in the dark. There's no justification, not even in your "but but taboos!" line of argument, for thinking he's not pushing it further. So you keep arguing that maybe he's doing gross stuff in public, and maybe he's doing it because he thinks he can get away with it, but then you ignore that your own reasoning says he'd be doing more and "getting away" with more in private. And this family has set up their house to give him nothing but dark corners to hide in.

You keep falling back on the idea that rape is so over-the-top, somehow a difference in not only degree but also kind, that he can't be doing it, essentially because he would think it was gross or know it was wrong. But even though you agree that he's seeing what he can get away with in terms of gratifying himself at his unconsenting sister's expense, and that what he's getting away with already is wrong and inappropriately sexual (a/k/a gross), you cannot explain why you're so sure that everyone who thinks this girl is in danger is overreacting. Honestly it seems like you think if there is intervention in this clearly dysfunctional situation, it's somehow striking a blow against all boys because hormones.

Anonymous wrote:as someone who is currently dealing with the CPS..... I hope OP is correct that it merits getting them involved

Anyone who thinks what is happening to this girl IN PUBLIC is okay has a normal meter that is off. If cps doesn't consider it a problem, then they won't investigate. We had two different social services posters who posted and said she should report it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

He's a boy that is past puberty and has male hormones raging through his system that he's never had before. He doesn't know what is right and what is wrong. If he knows about the birds and the bees, he probably thinks that penetration is the only thing that qualifies as inappropriate behavior. But a hormonal heterosexual teenager who is in a bathing suit and is grabbing a girl and potentially rubbing his genitals against her, even playfully, and even if it is his sister is inappropriate behavior. But he has no way of knowing this unless he's been reading or his parents have taught him. Since his parents are clueless about this being an issue, they need to be instructed that this is wrong and that they need to step up as parents and teach him appropriate boundaries. As a post-pubescent male he needs to observe personal space rules and needs to learn about inappropriate touching which includes what OP has written about.

OP, you need to talk to his parents and let them find a way to teach him in private about boundaries and appropriate vs inappropriate behavior and touching.

I totally agree with all this - and still think the posters yelling about CPS and “there is no way he isn’t forcibly raping her” need to take a moment and calm dkwn

You seem to think that CPS should only get involved after a 10 year old has definitively been penetrated. It's concerning.

You are so naive. A cps call could ruin that family’s life. Including the girls. What is op going to say? “I see him hug her a lot and he seems possessive”?

People like you are why we have a rape culture. The girl's life is sad. Her parents enable her brother to assault her. He lies on her and kisses her.

-A dad

+1,000,000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

He's a boy that is past puberty and has male hormones raging through his system that he's never had before. He doesn't know what is right and what is wrong. If he knows about the birds and the bees, he probably thinks that penetration is the only thing that qualifies as inappropriate behavior. But a hormonal heterosexual teenager who is in a bathing suit and is grabbing a girl and potentially rubbing his genitals against her, even playfully, and even if it is his sister is inappropriate behavior. But he has no way of knowing this unless he's been reading or his parents have taught him. Since his parents are clueless about this being an issue, they need to be instructed that this is wrong and that they need to step up as parents and teach him appropriate boundaries. As a post-pubescent male he needs to observe personal space rules and needs to learn about inappropriate touching which includes what OP has written about.

OP, you need to talk to his parents and let them find a way to teach him in private about boundaries and appropriate vs inappropriate behavior and touching.

I totally agree with all this - and still think the posters yelling about CPS and “there is no way he isn’t forcibly raping her” need to take a moment and calm dkwn

You seem to think that CPS should only get involved after a 10 year old has definitively been penetrated. It's concerning.

You are so naive. A cps call could ruin that family’s life. Including the girls. What is op going to say? “I see him hug her a lot and he seems possessive”?

The girl’s life is already ruined, you selfish fool.