Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So there aren't any schools where most/many faculty prefer to be called by their first names? You think OP's DD was just wrong about that?

No, that’s not what we are saying. We are saying you err on the side of formal-Dr, professor, Mr or Mrs until they specifically tell you otherwise. And you do it with every professor and advisor, etc. I really don’t understand why this is so difficult to understand.

Um.. because the OP's DD said most of the faculty wanted to be called by their first names?

Anonymous wrote:OP, stamping your feet and pouting isn't the way to change anything. But go ahead and see how that works when it comes time for granting research assistantships, teaching opportunities, graduate school recommendations, and the like.

Let's see how it works for you. It will be an adventure!

Something tells me that OP's daughter isn't headed for grad school. Her family's attitude toward academia is not one that will prepare her to choose this path.

OP, you still haven't told us where you went to college that instilled these ideas in you about addressing professors! Come on, where did you go?

Anonymous wrote:So there aren't any schools where most/many faculty prefer to be called by their first names? You think OP's DD was just wrong about that?

No, that’s not what we are saying. We are saying you err on the side of formal-Dr, professor, Mr or Mrs until they specifically tell you otherwise. And you do it with every professor and advisor, etc. I really don’t understand why this is so difficult to understand.

Anonymous wrote:So there aren't any schools where most/many faculty prefer to be called by their first names? You think OP's DD was just wrong about that?

That is correct. My guess is that OPs daughter has no clue if someone is a professor or a TA (graduate student who helps the prof with things like grading, labs, etc.) My guess is that a few TAs said “Guys you can call me by my first name.” and she assumed that applied to everyone. Every once in awhile a professor will also say this, but it’s way more common among TAs.

However, in any academic setting the default should be to use Professor, Dr., Mr. Ms. until you are invited to be more familiar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well it's not clear to me if these are "professors" or just adjunct faculty or instructors, but humor me. What is the proper way to address an advisor (that's the person who seems to have gotten the most bent out of shape)? Dear Advisor?

Dear Fake Professor would be best.

Maybe we need to define "advisor." My kid's advisor at a top 10 LAC isn't a Dr. or even an academic at all.

So Mr. or Ms. Why is this so hard for you to understand?

Right. Did the OP's DD do otherwise?

^ nevermind. I see she called them by their first name. O.k., next time she'll know better.

The thing is that it has happened more than once and she didn't know better after the first time she was corrected. And then, after several people spoken to her about this, she STILL couldn't accept that this is just standard respectful protocol, so she talked about it with her mom, who also fails to understand that her daughter had been rude.

No. Once was a faculty and once was an advisor. Seems different to me. Now she'll know better I assume.

Yes. They are both adults and faculty at the university. (Chances are good that the advisor is also a prof, though: my advisors were professors all through BA and two graduate degrees).

I'm thinking about showing this thread to my high school students tomorrow...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well it's not clear to me if these are "professors" or just adjunct faculty or instructors, but humor me. What is the proper way to address an advisor (that's the person who seems to have gotten the most bent out of shape)? Dear Advisor?

Dear Fake Professor would be best.

Maybe we need to define "advisor." My kid's advisor at a top 10 LAC isn't a Dr. or even an academic at all.

So Mr. or Ms. Why is this so hard for you to understand?

Right. Did the OP's DD do otherwise?

^ nevermind. I see she called them by their first name. O.k., next time she'll know better.

The thing is that it has happened more than once and she didn't know better after the first time she was corrected. And then, after several people spoken to her about this, she STILL couldn't accept that this is just standard respectful protocol, so she talked about it with her mom, who also fails to understand that her daughter had been rude.

No. Once was a faculty and once was an advisor. Seems different to me. Now she'll know better I assume.

Anonymous wrote:Basic respect and manners, sadly lacking in the OP's DD...Also lacking in common sense.
Using a title acknowledges that you recognize the other person's credentials, not easily achieved. Your DD didn't run into the faculty member at her spin class or charity event, she knew this was HER instructor.
GL getting any recommendations for internships etc from those people
My DC would address their college advisor as Mrs/Ms/Mr for sure

Exactly!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well it's not clear to me if these are "professors" or just adjunct faculty or instructors, but humor me. What is the proper way to address an advisor (that's the person who seems to have gotten the most bent out of shape)? Dear Advisor?

Dear Fake Professor would be best.

Maybe we need to define "advisor." My kid's advisor at a top 10 LAC isn't a Dr. or even an academic at all.

So Mr. or Ms. Why is this so hard for you to understand?

Right. Did the OP's DD do otherwise?

^ nevermind. I see she called them by their first name. O.k., next time she'll know better.

The thing is that it has happened more than once and she didn't know better after the first time she was corrected. And then, after several people spoken to her about this, she STILL couldn't accept that this is just standard respectful protocol, so she talked about it with her mom, who also fails to understand that her daughter had been rude.

Basic respect and manners, sadly lacking in the OP's DD...Also lacking in common sense.
Using a title acknowledges that you recognize the other person's credentials, not easily achieved. Your DD didn't run into the faculty member at her spin class or charity event, she knew this was HER instructor.
GL getting any recommendations for internships etc from those people
My DC would address their college advisor as Mrs/Ms/Mr for sure

OP, stamping your feet and pouting isn't the way to change anything. But go ahead and see how that works when it comes time for granting research assistantships, teaching opportunities, graduate school recommendations, and the like.

Let's see how it works for you. It will be an adventure!

Anonymous wrote:So there aren't any schools where most/many faculty prefer to be called by their first names? You think OP's DD was just wrong about that?

Yes, I think DD's daughter is wrong, and that she has failed to pay close attention to the subtleties of this situation (most likely because her mother has trained her to believe that her professors aren't really deserving of much respect because they are "hacks" who need to suck up disrespectful treatment from paying customers). It is almost May and she has failed to realize that, no, it is not correct to default to first names with her professors. Her advisor had to actually speak to her about this, as if she is a little child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well it's not clear to me if these are "professors" or just adjunct faculty or instructors, but humor me. What is the proper way to address an advisor (that's the person who seems to have gotten the most bent out of shape)? Dear Advisor?

Dear Fake Professor would be best.

Maybe we need to define "advisor." My kid's advisor at a top 10 LAC isn't a Dr. or even an academic at all.

So Mr. or Ms. Why is this so hard for you to understand?

Right. Did the OP's DD do otherwise?

^ nevermind. I see she called them by their first name. O.k., next time she'll know better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well it's not clear to me if these are "professors" or just adjunct faculty or instructors, but humor me. What is the proper way to address an advisor (that's the person who seems to have gotten the most bent out of shape)? Dear Advisor?

Dear Fake Professor would be best.

Maybe we need to define "advisor." My kid's advisor at a top 10 LAC isn't a Dr. or even an academic at all.

So Mr. or Ms. Why is this so hard for you to understand?

Right. Did the OP's DD do otherwise?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well it's not clear to me if these are "professors" or just adjunct faculty or instructors, but humor me. What is the proper way to address an advisor (that's the person who seems to have gotten the most bent out of shape)? Dear Advisor?

Dear Fake Professor would be best.

Maybe we need to define "advisor." My kid's advisor at a top 10 LAC isn't a Dr. or even an academic at all.

So Mr. or Ms. Why is this so hard for you to understand?