Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you explain this volunteer thing a little bit more. You are moving to a new town, and chose a school that requires 100 hours of volunteer time?

If you will be staying home, why does it matter that the boss agreed?

I'm not trying to be snarky, just trying to unravel the question a little.

The boss basically told me to quit. I can't get a full days work in with drop-off/pick-up and this volunteer work. I can't handle the travel the job requires.

I did not choose the school. DH wanted DD to attend a Catholic school and there is only one in the area.

Ok. So you have a couple of issues, but one is that you need to tell your husband that your career matters, too. Not only does it matter because it is good for your mental health, it matters because you are person whose happiness and fulfillment is important.

So, either your husband can agree to throw money at this problem (pay someone to do drop-off and pick-up) or he can agree to public school. But one way or another, your needs and desires should not be subjugated to his in perpetuity.

I make less than half of what he does. It doesn't make sense to rock boat and insist my career matters.

Besides, it's too late.

If your husband is in a command position. He is probably a colonel and doesn't make much money. If you make half of what he does, it is time for you to retool and learn new skills while you are being an involuntary SAHM. My friend is a nurse practitioner and burned out on it. She moved with her husband to a small town and is taking a two year on line course in medical writing from a well regarded school and program. In two years, she will have a better career that allows her to work anywhere.

When yiu are settled, look into some programs to update your skills so that you are better prepared for your next move. I moved 27 times in my husband's career and worked at least part time from even the most remote places and when I home schooled our children.

This new challenge will also help your mental health.

All good wishes.

Any update, op?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you explain this volunteer thing a little bit more. You are moving to a new town, and chose a school that requires 100 hours of volunteer time?

If you will be staying home, why does it matter that the boss agreed?

I'm not trying to be snarky, just trying to unravel the question a little.

The boss basically told me to quit. I can't get a full days work in with drop-off/pick-up and this volunteer work. I can't handle the travel the job requires.

I did not choose the school. DH wanted DD to attend a Catholic school and there is only one in the area.

You're a doormat. Why don't you stand up for yourself and say "This won't work for me because I love my job," "I don't want to move because we are settled here, and you can come visit on weekends." ? Because you don't want to lose this man who tells you what he wants and you do it?
You can do so much better, but you need to get some confidence first.

You do not have a work or a private school problem. You have a husband problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Name the "podunk" town Op.

You might find yourself in good company of those who have literally BTDT.

I have literally BTDT (as has at least one other poster) but the suggestions we posted were shot down for non-reasons. I think people are getting tired of it, especially as it's really a problem of her own making. (The school issue, that is. So many posters have had solutions for it, including public school since it's just Kindergarten)

How many times do I have to say that I didn't select the school?

I am not Catholic. Any attempt to discuss another school ends up with him accusing me of not respecting his faith. So, Catholic school it is.

So then he can fullfill the volunteer time. If he feels strongly enough about it he can work out a deal with the school to fill in when he can.

Sorry OP. You are going to be miserable because you are making miserable decisions.

Op - You have to make it work for you. You are a person with needs too. I left my GS-14 job for our military move overseas to a tiny army station. I was unemployed for 1.5 years and had a break in status after 15 years as a fed. I ended up taking a GS-12 job. At the time, my son turned 2, and my DH was REALLY KEEN on sending him to school on the local economy so he could get the language background and culture and all of that. As cool as that would have been, he was willing to do exactly nothing to make that happen, and I simply was not willing to bend over backwards to figure out the school system, fees, busing system, and enrollment requirements in Japanese. Many families did it, but my kid went to regular old military daycare two minutes from our house. I'm a person too, with needs, opinions, and values. My DH is not going to dictate that he wants things a certain way and put an additional burden on me. If he wants things a certain way, he also has to participate. Get a spine and stop being a victim. Military communities are full Christians. Find a church.

OP, consider getting an au pair. You could keep your job and have the AP do pick up, drop off, etc.

I hope it's a troll. Otherwise, wow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Name the "podunk" town Op.

You might find yourself in good company of those who have literally BTDT.

I have literally BTDT (as has at least one other poster) but the suggestions we posted were shot down for non-reasons. I think people are getting tired of it, especially as it's really a problem of her own making. (The school issue, that is. So many posters have had solutions for it, including public school since it's just Kindergarten)

How many times do I have to say that I didn't select the school?

I am not Catholic. Any attempt to discuss another school ends up with him accusing me of not respecting his faith. So, Catholic school it is.

You're making things purposefully difficult OP. Its ridiculous.

OP name this podunk town or at least the base your DH got assigned. You dont have to name the school.

And consider dcum calling you out as a troll with a made up story (or one you plagiarized from another site).

Reading through the thread now. Such an obvious troll post.

Altus, OK?

Did you move yet Op?

OMG. OP you need to call your boss and beg for your job back!

Hire a full time nanny with your salary. She can handle drop-offs and pickups and the volunteer requirements. Who cares if this eats up most of your salary? It’s temporary. Do everything in your power to keep your job.