Anonymous wrote:

Awesome!

I had candy and gum cigarettes all the time when I was a kid! The gum ones were really cool because if you exhaled through the paper tube that surrounded the gum, there was a powder that would blow out the end and it looked like smoke. Really fun.

I don't smoke, never have. And I grew up in a household of heavy smokers, so even if I did smoke, it would probably be because of that, not that I had candy and gum cigarettes when I was a kid.

Anonymous wrote:I can't get past the fact that the OP has tattoos, which are permanent, and got in a tizzy because her daughter had pink hair that washed out quickly and easily.

In my experience, some of the wildest teens and 20 somethings I know are the most straight laced moms with their own kids.

I think it is because they know how wild things can get and want something better for their kids.

Anonymous wrote:I would pose this question to those who responded, what if they have faux cigarettes or cigars? I could care less about the make up stuff

https://www.partycity.com/fake-cigarettes-6ct-175731.html?extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9vKQno_v2wIVwiSGCh3CrwITEAkYAyABEgL4VfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

still not a big deal?

I honestly don't think it's the same thing. There really isn't a "healthy" form of smoking. I guess my thing is that it's fun to drink juice with umbrellas. My toddlers think this is fun. It doesn't have to be about the alcohol if you don't want it to be. I think the idea that the only way to enjoy a festive drink is to add alcohol is actually the problem.

If they were drinking grape juice out of wine glasses at a kids party, I might find that odd...because there isn't really a fun, non-alcoholic way to drink wine. But fancy juice is fun! Who cares if some adults put alcohol in it...I know tons of teetotalers who love mocktails and drink them. Some of these same people fall into the "alcohol is immoral" category. All the more reason to let people know that you don't need to have alcohol to have a festive drink!

Anonymous wrote:As I dad, I'm wondering where the father is in all this. Is he in the picture and, if he is, what were his thoughts? If my wife was this controlling of things like our teenage child's (removable) hair color for what seem like entirely arbitrary reasons, we would have a serious parenting conversation.

I can only speak from my experience, but my mom was a controlling nightmare. By the time we were teens, my dad had totally given up trying to intervene in order to keep the peace in the house. Sometimes he'd listen to me complain and tell me he agreed that she was being unreasonable, but we just all needed to accommodate her anxiety. It was obviously totally dysfunctional, but that's what it was. I don't think that dynamic is all that unusual...other parent enabling the anxieties etc of the parent who has them just to get by.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter, 13, and I wouldn't have been happy about it either, not the fake drinks and certainly not the pink hair. Guess I'm just a stick in the mud.

I let my 3 year old have temporary hair color. It's fun. Unclench.

Good for you, but not everybody does. While I don’t personally have a problem with the hair color thing, I’d not be judgmental about other families’ preferences. Maybe you should clench a little, Loosey Goosey.

Nope. Life is to short and I'm old enough to know how precious it is. Why get upset over harmless fun things that bring your kids joy?

Anonymous wrote:Learning that you can have fun drinking "mocktails" isn't a terrible thing, either.

Who didn't get Shirley Temples as a kid? I did, and I don't even drink now.

I can't believe you wouldn't let your kids dye their hair for the Caps parade! How about supporting their creativity and individuality? Get ready for a lot of tattoos and piercings when they are 18.

I can't get past the fact that the OP has tattoos, which are permanent, and got in a tizzy because her daughter had pink hair that washed out quickly and easily.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter, 13, and I wouldn't have been happy about it either, not the fake drinks and certainly not the pink hair. Guess I'm just a stick in the mud.

I let my 3 year old have temporary hair color. It's fun. Unclench.

Good for you, but not everybody does. While I don’t personally have a problem with the hair color thing, I’d not be judgmental about other families’ preferences. Maybe you should clench a little, Loosey Goosey.

Anonymous wrote:I would pose this question to those who responded, what if they have faux cigarettes or cigars? I could care less about the make up stuff

https://www.partycity.com/fake-cigarettes-6ct-175731.html?extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9vKQno_v2wIVwiSGCh3CrwITEAkYAyABEgL4VfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

still not a big deal?

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter, 13, and I wouldn't have been happy about it either, not the fake drinks and certainly not the pink hair. Guess I'm just a stick in the mud.

I let my 3 year old have temporary hair color. It's fun. Unclench.

Anonymous wrote:I would pose this question to those who responded, what if they have faux cigarettes or cigars? I could care less about the make up stuff

https://www.partycity.com/fake-cigarettes-6ct-175731.html?extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9vKQno_v2wIVwiSGCh3CrwITEAkYAyABEgL4VfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

still not a big deal?

I drink alcohol as an adult. Very little, but not none. I expect that my children will also drink alcohol as adults, although it will be fine with me if they don't. I do not smoke cigarettes or cigars, I expect my children to not smoke cigarettes or cigars as adults, and it will not be fine with me if they do.

OP has issues she is forcing upon her daughter, who by all accounts, is not a rebellious hellion, but a normal teenage girl making normal (and safe) teenage decisions.
If OP overreacts about things like this, good luck getting any information from your daughter when REAL things start happening.
My mom blue her lid about every. little. thing. that was not exactly how SHE would have done.
Let me tell you; me and my 3 sisters learned hard and fast that keeping mom happy meant she never really knew what was going on in our lives or the lives of our friends.
To this day she is just SHOCKED when we tell her stuff from our teenage days and she is so hurt she was not there for us like our friend's parents were. She was so uptight back then but is chill and so easy to talk to now.
So sad she missed a big chunk of who we were growing up. All she saw was 'good grades, PG movie parties and high school sports". She missed the mud fights, pierced belly button (for a week); skinny dipping (with all girls); late night pool parties and so much more. She only got to know one side of us and really missed out. We were good kids just being teens. Much like OPs daughter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As I dad, I'm wondering where the father is in all this. Is he in the picture and, if he is, what were his thoughts? If my wife was this controlling of things like our teenage child's (removable) hair color for what seem like entirely arbitrary reasons, we would have a serious parenting conversation.

Maybe he doesn't dare say anything. Or if he does, OP ignores him and goes on her rants anyway.

Yeah ... maybe. This is where my wife and I really help each other. When one starts to go off the rails a bit, the other one helps bring ground them in reality. Just yesterday I was on my very last nerve with DS who was hangry and getting really obnoxious and my wife kept the situation from spiraling out of control. I thanked her later for helping me to not overreact. Sometimes she will start to lose it or get overprotective and I will help her take a step back. Nothing that OP has said (unless I missed it) suggests that she has a moderating influence to rely on. I think that that may be part of the problem.

I would pose this question to those who responded, what if they have faux cigarettes or cigars? I could care less about the make up stuff

https://www.partycity.com/fake-cigarettes-6ct-175731.html?extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9vKQno_v2wIVwiSGCh3CrwITEAkYAyABEgL4VfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

still not a big deal?