Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 18:35     Subject: Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?
Anonymous wrote:Its only offensive if the person is easily offended. DH is foreign, non-white and people ask him ALL THE TIME. Great conversation starter.

The people who tend to say they are offended are not foreign. They are American, born in the USA, and have no discernible accent. They get exhausted saying, "No, I'm REALLy from <Iowa, Michigan, California, NY, wherever>" when people simply will not accept those places as the answer to "Where are you from?"

It's really not hard to understand why an American would feel offended by people always assuming they are not American or really not "REALLY" from America...unless, of course, you are willfully obtuse.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 18:30     Subject: Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?
It always amazes me the people who like to decide that people who are offended by something that doesn't bother them or their spouse, boyfriend, cousin, best friend, barista must be overly sensitive. It can never be that you are ruse, prying and boorish asshat nope they have to be overly sensitive.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 18:28     Subject: Re:Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a white, Eastern European. I have Eastern European accent. I get asked by blacks, Asians, Indians, and whites: " Where are you from?". I find it offensive. I answer:" From NYC". Some don't get the message and press on further:"Where are you really from?" I find it infuriating. I answer:" I told you, NYC."


Why do you find it offensive? And no, you are not from NYC. If you were “from” NYC, you would have a NY accent and not Eastern European accent. I immigrated from Russia many, many years ago, still have accent, still get asked “where are you from” constantly. Don’t find it offensive one bit. It is always asked in a very friendly way so I don’t see the reason for getting offended.


NP. Perhaps she is offended because it is none of your f*****g business? Just a guess, I could be wrong.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 17:41     Subject: Re:Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a white, Eastern European. I have Eastern European accent. I get asked by blacks, Asians, Indians, and whites: " Where are you from?". I find it offensive. I answer:" From NYC". Some don't get the message and press on further:"Where are you really from?" I find it infuriating. I answer:" I told you, NYC."


You are not FROM New York City if you have an Eastern European accent. Sorry, you're just not. Nobody cares if you're Russian, Bosnian, Albanian or whatever but you're posing when you answer like this and shows that you're uncomfortable with your real heritage.

People came be from this country and have an accent dum-dum. THIS is why the line of questioning is offensive. You must have dinosaur balls to tell someone they are wrong about where they are from .
Where are you from PP , a dinosaur's butt!!!
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 17:25     Subject: Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?
Anonymous wrote:Its only offensive if the person is easily offended. DH is foreign, non-white and people ask him ALL THE TIME. Great conversation starter.


I think this only applies if you’re so boring people can’t think of anything else to ask.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 16:51     Subject: Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?
Anonymous wrote:Its only offensive if the person is easily offended. DH is foreign, non-white and people ask him ALL THE TIME. Great conversation starter.


Yup
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2018 16:40     Subject: Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?
Anonymous wrote:It is offensive always.

Also offensive:

“Why dont you have kids?”
“Why aren’t you married!”
“Did you kill someone while deployed?”
“It must have been hard growing up poor” (when you haven’t said anything about growing up poor)
“How do you think you got cancer?” (Right it must have been my fault)
“Did you ever shoot someone dead?” (To a police officer)
“How do you make ends meet?” (To an artist)
“Aren’t you lucky your spouse supports you?!” (To an artist, who never said anything of the sort)
“Have you tried a matchmaker?”
“Are you pregnant?”
“Did you use fertility treatments?”
“How’s breastfeeding going?” (Especially from a man)
“When are you going to give your Little One a sibling?!”


Yes!!!