Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that so many women on here care about denying husbands the love/joy/respect that comes from this symbolic gesture instead of focusing on real problems facing women and girls

It's like you care more about belittling men than lifting up women and girls

Wow it's like you think our husbands would feel respected if we changed our names. Why don't you respect my husband's choice?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband of a wife who kept her name. I don't regret marrying her because she makes up for it in other ways but I pretty much resent it, am jealous of men whose wives took their names and hope she will change it some day to have the same last name as our future kids, like other women I know have done or plan to do

Why don't you change your name, and then your future kids will have the same last name as both you and your wife?

No matter how many people you pretend to be posting this again and again, it's never going to happen

Uh, actually I was one of the people who asked that question and this is not me. Rather, I think it's something that has occurred to a lot of us so that's why you keep getting asked about it. It's okay with me if you don't want to change your name but making accusations because a bunch of people have asked you about it now - well, that's being rather oversensitive on your part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the men who isn't happy about my wife not taking my name but I married her despite her plan to keep her name

We are a happy couple despite our disagreement on this issue

Does that make me a misogynist?

A lot of the meaner/snarkier comments from men are responding to women telling them (us) we are insecure, man children, whiny boys, bitches, pathetic etc

No, but it does mean you should check your thinking about men, women, and patriarchy.

Was going to write this. You may not be a "misogynist" technically. But having negative feelings towards your wife about her refusal to do something that you would not do, in each case because of longstanding gender norms,..... well, it certainly doesn't make you a good guy.

This is utter nonsense. You have no idea why this man wanted his wife to take his name, yet you infer he is a bad guy. There could be any number of reasons why and we don’t know them. It’s not fair to paint him a bad guy when we don’t know those reasons. But then again, the patriarchy nonsense is all about painting someone as a bad guy simply because he has a penis.

Poor men. They have it so tough.

That’s not what the poster said. Nice attempt.

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the men who isn't happy about my wife not taking my name but I married her despite her plan to keep her name

We are a happy couple despite our disagreement on this issue

Does that make me a misogynist?

A lot of the meaner/snarkier comments from men are responding to women telling them (us) we are insecure, man children, whiny boys, bitches, pathetic etc

It was one of YOU guys who said that men who would change their name or whose wives won't change their name are bitches. You guys started the name calling and have continued it, saying all of our husbands must be cucks or p*ssywhipped, etc but that's ok to you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the men who isn't happy about my wife not taking my name but I married her despite her plan to keep her name

We are a happy couple despite our disagreement on this issue

Does that make me a misogynist?

A lot of the meaner/snarkier comments from men are responding to women telling them (us) we are insecure, man children, whiny boys, bitches, pathetic etc

No, but it does mean you should check your thinking about men, women, and patriarchy.

Was going to write this. You may not be a "misogynist" technically. But having negative feelings towards your wife about her refusal to do something that you would not do, in each case because of longstanding gender norms,..... well, it certainly doesn't make you a good guy.

This is utter nonsense. You have no idea why this man wanted his wife to take his name, yet you infer he is a bad guy. There could be any number of reasons why and we don’t know them. It’s not fair to paint him a bad guy when we don’t know those reasons. But then again, the patriarchy nonsense is all about painting someone as a bad guy simply because he has a penis.

Poor men. They have it so tough.

There are many decisions that men and women need to make before they get married with the name just being one of them. If a woman wants to maintain her name legally and the man is against it that should be a big clue to her about what's in his head and vice versa. Learning to discuss and deal with issues is a big part of marriage so getting it started before you're married is critical.

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that so many women on here care about denying husbands the love/joy/respect that comes from this symbolic gesture instead of focusing on real problems facing women and girls

It's like you care more about belittling men than lifting up women and girls

LOL. That's not what's happening here.

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that so many women on here care about denying husbands the love/joy/respect that comes from this symbolic gesture instead of focusing on real problems facing women and girls

It's like you care more about belittling men than lifting up women and girls

A man who thinks this much about how women should change their names is a man who doesn't deserve a woman who will change her name. A pervasive belief that women OWE this to men IS a real problem facing women and girls.

- a woman who changed her name

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that so many women on here care about denying husbands the love/joy/respect that comes from this symbolic gesture instead of focusing on real problems facing women and girls

It's like you care more about belittling men than lifting up women and girls

I find it interesting that so many men on here care about denying wives the love/joy/respect that comes from letting her make an important decision based on how it would affect her life instead of focusing on real problems facing men and boys

It's like you care more about subjugating your wife than showing her the consideration of an equal partner in your marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the men who isn't happy about my wife not taking my name but I married her despite her plan to keep her name

We are a happy couple despite our disagreement on this issue

Does that make me a misogynist?

A lot of the meaner/snarkier comments from men are responding to women telling them (us) we are insecure, man children, whiny boys, bitches, pathetic etc

No, but it does mean you should check your thinking about men, women, and patriarchy.

Was going to write this. You may not be a "misogynist" technically. But having negative feelings towards your wife about her refusal to do something that you would not do, in each case because of longstanding gender norms,..... well, it certainly doesn't make you a good guy.

This is utter nonsense. You have no idea why this man wanted his wife to take his name, yet you infer he is a bad guy. There could be any number of reasons why and we don’t know them. It’s not fair to paint him a bad guy when we don’t know those reasons. But then again, the patriarchy nonsense is all about painting someone as a bad guy simply because he has a penis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the men who isn't happy about my wife not taking my name but I married her despite her plan to keep her name

We are a happy couple despite our disagreement on this issue

Does that make me a misogynist?

A lot of the meaner/snarkier comments from men are responding to women telling them (us) we are insecure, man children, whiny boys, bitches, pathetic etc

No, but it does mean you should check your thinking about men, women, and patriarchy.

Was going to write this. You may not be a "misogynist" technically. But having negative feelings towards your wife about her refusal to do something that you would not do, in each case because of longstanding gender norms,..... well, it certainly doesn't make you a good guy.

I am a woman who considers herself a feminist. This is BS. Relationships are complicated, what people envision for their families is complicated. I kind of wish my husband was more verbal, he tends to keep his emotions inside. It makes me a little sad that he is like this. We love each other a lot and we are very happy. But this thing about him does make me a little sad.

People you have relationships do things and you are allowed to have emotional reactions to those things without being called names. If PP isn't holding it against his wife or fighting with her about it then it is very dismissive to say he's not allowed to be disappointed that a vision for his future family that he's likely held since childhood isn't coming exactly true. We face these small disappointments all through our lives. Acknowledging that they happen doesn't make you a bad person. Treating another person badly due to that disappointment does.

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that so many women on here care about denying husbands the love/joy/respect that comes from this symbolic gesture instead of focusing on real problems facing women and girls

It's like you care more about belittling men than lifting up women and girls

I agree. I believe many women on DCUM are sexually and otherwise frustrated.

--a woman

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the men who isn't happy about my wife not taking my name but I married her despite her plan to keep her name

We are a happy couple despite our disagreement on this issue

Does that make me a misogynist?

A lot of the meaner/snarkier comments from men are responding to women telling them (us) we are insecure, man children, whiny boys, bitches, pathetic etc

I think I'm the poster who you are replying to. For me the most appalling thing is the reaction that men are having to the one poster who offered the idea that if the singular family name is the issue, why don't you, the man, consider changing your name. And many posters acted like that was like...equivalent to castration. If you are one of those posters, you are a misogynist. If not then I don't know, I would need more information about you but no I don't think being sad about your wife keeping her name makes you a misogynist at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the men who isn't happy about my wife not taking my name but I married her despite her plan to keep her name

We are a happy couple despite our disagreement on this issue

Does that make me a misogynist?

A lot of the meaner/snarkier comments from men are responding to women telling them (us) we are insecure, man children, whiny boys, bitches, pathetic etc

No, but it does mean you should check your thinking about men, women, and patriarchy.

Was going to write this. You may not be a "misogynist" technically. But having negative feelings towards your wife about her refusal to do something that you would not do, in each case because of longstanding gender norms,..... well, it certainly doesn't make you a good guy.

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that so many women on here care about denying husbands the love/joy/respect that comes from this symbolic gesture instead of focusing on real problems facing women and girls

It's like you care more about belittling men than lifting up women and girls

You're the poster who's upset about his wife keeping her name, right?