NP here. I can identify with OP because, like you, we have spent a lot on nanny expenses over the years, even though day care would have been cheaper. It was worth the extra expense to us, even though many people would say it was a waste of money. We liked that our kids could nap in their own cribs, go to neighborhood parks, etc. But we recognize it was a luxury.

We are older than you (DH and I are 45), and our income is a little higher ($350K per year HHI). One of us is a government lawyer who is maxed out at $160K with no potential for a salary increase.

If we had done daycare instead of a nanny, we probably would have had more in savings and investments right now, or a nicer house. (We each have a 401(k) worth $450,000. We have a small modest house in a nice neighborhood, and so I have to resist comparing our house to other houses in the neighborhood.)

We have 3 kids (ages 6, 9, and 12). We are actually still paying for a part-time nanny for after-school and after-camp. Many of our friends have gone with an au pair, but we like having a nanny because she can help with dinner prep, laundry, driving to sports activities, household tasks (more so than an au pair could do.) Also, we have a small modest house and literally don't have space for an au pair to live comfortably. So we can relate to the high nanny costs, but again, it's been worth it to us.

Getting home at 3 pm and not having to deal with biglaw hours sounds amazing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you just need to live a little. You have 15k in net income/month and 9k in fixed costs; so presumably you have 6k leftover for cars, utilities, food, and a lot of savings. And you say drive Hondas so you don't have huge car payments - if any.

So I imagine you are saving no less than 2-4k/month. You really can't forego saving for 1.5 months, gather up 5k and take a vacation someplace nice? You don't have to do it 5 times a yr, but your outlook on life may be different and you may feel less deprived if you do this once every 12-18 months.

Obviously if OP saves all her disposable income, she is going to feel like she has no luxuries. This is one of the dumbest threads I have read on here. OP, live a little. You come home by 3, picked one of the lowest paid medical specialties. Your DH left big law for a lower paid fed job. At minimum, he should be able to flex his schedule.

+1

It's weird, really, for lack of a better word.
They traded money for time and now are upset they don't have money to spend in all their extra time.
OP, you could always pick up some shifts as a hospitalist (at least where I work) and pull an all nighter a couple weekends per month for your vacation and luxury money.
But you don't. You're home by 3 and free all weekend.

She works for government so overtime and side jobs tricky.

We know lots of military doctors who moonlight for extra money. It seems pretty common.

+1, military doc in public health here who was feeling similar to OP (although without the spousal income). I, and many peers, do utilization reviews to supplement income. Clear through command and you are good to go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you just need to live a little. You have 15k in net income/month and 9k in fixed costs; so presumably you have 6k leftover for cars, utilities, food, and a lot of savings. And you say drive Hondas so you don't have huge car payments - if any.

So I imagine you are saving no less than 2-4k/month. You really can't forego saving for 1.5 months, gather up 5k and take a vacation someplace nice? You don't have to do it 5 times a yr, but your outlook on life may be different and you may feel less deprived if you do this once every 12-18 months.

Obviously if OP saves all her disposable income, she is going to feel like she has no luxuries. This is one of the dumbest threads I have read on here. OP, live a little. You come home by 3, picked one of the lowest paid medical specialties. Your DH left big law for a lower paid fed job. At minimum, he should be able to flex his schedule.

+1

It's weird, really, for lack of a better word.
They traded money for time and now are upset they don't have money to spend in all their extra time.
OP, you could always pick up some shifts as a hospitalist (at least where I work) and pull an all nighter a couple weekends per month for your vacation and luxury money.
But you don't. You're home by 3 and free all weekend.

She works for government so overtime and side jobs tricky.

We know lots of military doctors who moonlight for extra money. It seems pretty common.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you just need to live a little. You have 15k in net income/month and 9k in fixed costs; so presumably you have 6k leftover for cars, utilities, food, and a lot of savings. And you say drive Hondas so you don't have huge car payments - if any.

So I imagine you are saving no less than 2-4k/month. You really can't forego saving for 1.5 months, gather up 5k and take a vacation someplace nice? You don't have to do it 5 times a yr, but your outlook on life may be different and you may feel less deprived if you do this once every 12-18 months.

Obviously if OP saves all her disposable income, she is going to feel like she has no luxuries. This is one of the dumbest threads I have read on here. OP, live a little. You come home by 3, picked one of the lowest paid medical specialties. Your DH left big law for a lower paid fed job. At minimum, he should be able to flex his schedule.

+1

It's weird, really, for lack of a better word.
They traded money for time and now are upset they don't have money to spend in all their extra time.
OP, you could always pick up some shifts as a hospitalist (at least where I work) and pull an all nighter a couple weekends per month for your vacation and luxury money.
But you don't. You're home by 3 and free all weekend.

She works for government so overtime and side jobs tricky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you just need to live a little. You have 15k in net income/month and 9k in fixed costs; so presumably you have 6k leftover for cars, utilities, food, and a lot of savings. And you say drive Hondas so you don't have huge car payments - if any.

So I imagine you are saving no less than 2-4k/month. You really can't forego saving for 1.5 months, gather up 5k and take a vacation someplace nice? You don't have to do it 5 times a yr, but your outlook on life may be different and you may feel less deprived if you do this once every 12-18 months.

Obviously if OP saves all her disposable income, she is going to feel like she has no luxuries. This is one of the dumbest threads I have read on here. OP, live a little. You come home by 3, picked one of the lowest paid medical specialties. Your DH left big law for a lower paid fed job. At minimum, he should be able to flex his schedule.

+1

It's weird, really, for lack of a better word.
They traded money for time and now are upset they don't have money to spend in all their extra time.
OP, you could always pick up some shifts as a hospitalist (at least where I work) and pull an all nighter a couple weekends per month for your vacation and luxury money.
But you don't. You're home by 3 and free all weekend.