8:55 here. To 8:54's point, I totally agree. I, too, am an introvert and being with DD certainly wears me out sometimes. But before that, I was a schoolteacher, and talk about being on all day. I used to dream of working in a cubicle by myself, just had no idea what I'd do!

I think it just depends on the given situation. If I had a job I was passionate about before kids, I'd definitely have kept it. But I think I wouldn't be a good mom if I'd stayed at my old job. So for that reason, I SAH for the most part and am easing into a new line of work. If you can't imagine leaving your old life/job behind and/or need the income, then I guess that means at that time you are not cut out to stay at home. Or if being around the kids 24/7 is more stressful than work, same thing. For me, even the most stressful days with my kid are less stressful than my old job, so it's a no-brainier for me.

Someone else posted several pages back about how hard it is to be "on" for another person all day. I could have written that.

I stayed home for three months when my daughter was about a year old. I wasn't bored all day, but by the end of the day my face hurt from trying to paste on a smile when I wasn't feeling it.

Don't get me wrong -- I *love* my child. I can take twice as much one-on-one time her as I can with just about anyone else in the world. But I am a serious introvert. I cannot spend all day engaged with another person -- not even my own child.

At work, I sit in my cubicle without any human eye contact for long stretches of time, and I love it that way. (Of course there are definitely things I regret about working full-time -- I would love to work part time and get home earlier so our evenings weren't so rushed.)

But parenting isn't only about the quantity of face time you spend with your kids, and just because I'm an introvert, doesn't mean I'm a bad mom -- there are other areas of parenting where I think I am pretty good, especially as my child gets older (she's eight now).

My daughter is an awesome, awesome kid. Most of that is her, but I'll take a little bit of credit for providing an environment where she can thrive, even if that turned out to be day care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people continue to feed the trolls. OP is a disgruntled SAHM who clearly has too much time on her hands. She's undermining WOHMs in a pathetic bid to validate herself. Shouldn't you be interacting with your children, watching them grow inch by inch?

But yet she has no response when confronted with the fact that her accusations apply to her husband. Does the fact that he works outside of the home mean he hates his children? Didn't think so. Also, how do you know what family dynamic all the WOHMs have? How do you know their husband isn't the SAHP?

Women that enjoy trashing each other are disgusting and haven't grown up one bit since high school. Empty vessels make the loudest noise as they say.

Ok. I hope to hear you speak up the next time we hear from a disgruntled WOHM trashing SAHMs. Shouldn't be long now...

You SAHMs LOVE to play the victim. If you're not complaining about how you have 'the hardest job in the world', you're arguing with strangers over the Internet about how you're superior as a parent. You win. Pat yourselves on the back.

There are women, some SAH, some WOH, who enjoy attacking of "the other side" and the sweet little feeling of superioity. You're one of them.

My job is incredibly fulfilling. I enjoy having adult interaction, using the bathroom without little helpers, and I have moved up the ladder significantly since having kids. There is no tension with my husband because we both work, we make similar incomes, and we split home/children tasks. If we would divorce or something would happen to my husband, I can comfortably support my kids independently.

That being said, if any of my children wanted to be a SAH parent, I would 100% completely support it. I have friends that LOVE being SAH parents and I think it's wonderful. I just don't have the personality or desire to do that for myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people continue to feed the trolls. OP is a disgruntled SAHM who clearly has too much time on her hands. She's undermining WOHMs in a pathetic bid to validate herself. Shouldn't you be interacting with your children, watching them grow inch by inch?

But yet she has no response when confronted with the fact that her accusations apply to her husband. Does the fact that he works outside of the home mean he hates his children? Didn't think so. Also, how do you know what family dynamic all the WOHMs have? How do you know their husband isn't the SAHP?

Women that enjoy trashing each other are disgusting and haven't grown up one bit since high school. Empty vessels make the loudest noise as they say.

Ok. I hope to hear you speak up the next time we hear from a disgruntled WOHM trashing SAHMs. Shouldn't be long now...

You SAHMs LOVE to play the victim. If you're not complaining about how you have 'the hardest job in the world', you're arguing with strangers over the Internet about how you're superior as a parent. You win. Pat yourselves on the back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means she can't stand not to have an important job to go to every day and think big, important thoughts that will save the world Because don't you ever forget, she is WAY smarter and more important than you. You're barely in her range of sight from up there on her high horse.

NP. I don't think this is it. I know many WOHM who say they would do it if they could still use their FT daycare. It's not that they loooooooove their jobs so much (most of them anyway). They're just scared of being with their kids on their own all day, every day.

Not scared just find is boring and tedious after a few hours. I like going to a place with other adults who respect me, listen to me etc. Why bother with grad school if you don't intend to have a career? I would never want to set that example for my daughter. Maybe if i had a boy it wouldn't matter.

What a stupid remark. I'm imagining the conversation between you and your daughter in later years:
Larla: "Mom, why didn't you ever stay home with me when I was younger?"
You: "Are you kidding me? After going through grad school, you think I'd actually take time out from work to (snicker) stay home with my kid?? OMG, what a waste of time that would have been."
Larla: "Oh."

I went to grad school, as did many of the SAHMs I know. In fact, we all had very interesting jobs prior to having children. Most of us will one day return to work, but for now, there is nothing more worthwhile or important to our families than having a parent at home. And we'll absolutely encourage all our kids - girls and boys - to pursue as much education as they desire, regardless of what their future lives look like. Why wouldn't we?

Barf. You sound dull and self righteous. Maybe you don't miss adult company because other adults find you insufferable.

She clearly makes a good point if an ad hominem attack is all you can come back with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means she can't stand not to have an important job to go to every day and think big, important thoughts that will save the world Because don't you ever forget, she is WAY smarter and more important than you. You're barely in her range of sight from up there on her high horse.

NP. I don't think this is it. I know many WOHM who say they would do it if they could still use their FT daycare. It's not that they loooooooove their jobs so much (most of them anyway). They're just scared of being with their kids on their own all day, every day.

Not scared just find is boring and tedious after a few hours. I like going to a place with other adults who respect me, listen to me etc. Why bother with grad school if you don't intend to have a career? I would never want to set that example for my daughter. Maybe if i had a boy it wouldn't matter.

What a stupid remark. I'm imagining the conversation between you and your daughter in later years:
Larla: "Mom, why didn't you ever stay home with me when I was younger?"
You: "Are you kidding me? After going through grad school, you think I'd actually take time out from work to (snicker) stay home with my kid?? OMG, what a waste of time that would have been."
Larla: "Oh."

I went to grad school, as did many of the SAHMs I know. In fact, we all had very interesting jobs prior to having children. Most of us will one day return to work, but for now, there is nothing more worthwhile or important to our families than having a parent at home. And we'll absolutely encourage all our kids - girls and boys - to pursue as much education as they desire, regardless of what their future lives look like. Why wouldn't we?

Barf. You sound dull and self righteous. Maybe you don't miss adult company because other adults find you insufferable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means she can't stand not to have an important job to go to every day and think big, important thoughts that will save the world Because don't you ever forget, she is WAY smarter and more important than you. You're barely in her range of sight from up there on her high horse.

NP. I don't think this is it. I know many WOHM who say they would do it if they could still use their FT daycare. It's not that they loooooooove their jobs so much (most of them anyway). They're just scared of being with their kids on their own all day, every day.

Not scared just find is boring and tedious after a few hours. I like going to a place with other adults who respect me, listen to me etc. Why bother with grad school if you don't intend to have a career? I would never want to set that example for my daughter. Maybe if i had a boy it wouldn't matter.

What a stupid remark. I'm imagining the conversation between you and your daughter in later years:
Larla: "Mom, why didn't you ever stay home with me when I was younger?"
You: "Are you kidding me? After going through grad school, you think I'd actually take time out from work to (snicker) stay home with my kid?? OMG, what a waste of time that would have been."
Larla: "Oh."

I went to grad school, as did many of the SAHMs I know. In fact, we all had very interesting jobs prior to having children. Most of us will one day return to work, but for now, there is nothing more worthwhile or important to our families than having a parent at home. And we'll absolutely encourage all our kids - girls and boys - to pursue as much education as they desire, regardless of what their future lives look like. Why wouldn't we?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means she can't stand not to have an important job to go to every day and think big, important thoughts that will save the world Because don't you ever forget, she is WAY smarter and more important than you. You're barely in her range of sight from up there on her high horse.

NP. I don't think this is it. I know many WOHM who say they would do it if they could still use their FT daycare. It's not that they loooooooove their jobs so much (most of them anyway). They're just scared of being with their kids on their own all day, every day.

Not scared just find is boring and tedious after a few hours. I like going to a place with other adults who respect me, listen to me etc. Why bother with grad school if you don't intend to have a career? I would never want to set that example for my daughter. Maybe if i had a boy it wouldn't matter.

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people continue to feed the trolls. OP is a disgruntled SAHM who clearly has too much time on her hands. She's undermining WOHMs in a pathetic bid to validate herself. Shouldn't you be interacting with your children, watching them grow inch by inch?

But yet she has no response when confronted with the fact that her accusations apply to her husband. Does the fact that he works outside of the home mean he hates his children? Didn't think so. Also, how do you know what family dynamic all the WOHMs have? How do you know their husband isn't the SAHP?

Women that enjoy trashing each other are disgusting and haven't grown up one bit since high school. Empty vessels make the loudest noise as they say.

Ok. I hope to hear you speak up the next time we hear from a disgruntled WOHM trashing SAHMs. Shouldn't be long now...

Because people are different and choose different paths. Would anyone question why a man doesn't want to be a SAHP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read everything, but let's not forget that SAHMs have the entire summer to take care of the kids (unless they put them in summer school) so that's a big chunk of time working parents don't see their kids. I've WOH and SAH and I can say that both suck in ways. When I worked part time, my kid was sick all the time. I was either working or taking care of a sick kid. When I started SAH, my kid got healthy. I prefer healthy kids. Also, unless you have maids and buy prepared food, you get better at cleaning and cooking over time. I think WOHMs think they'd be bored because if you work full time, you don't have a whole lot of time for hobbies. I also had health problems from my job and couldn't engage in hobbies I can do now that I quit. I think everyone has strengths and weaknesses and it just depends whether working or staying home seems easier. Also alot of WOHMs rationalize that they'd be bored or whatever to make themselves think they're not missing out on anything, but if you SAH you have the free time to come up with things to not be bored.

The vast, vast majority of school-age kids do something in the summer during school hours whether it is camp or another activity. Give me a break.

Not necessarily. Most one income families I know can't afford that sort of thing. Maybe a week or two of camp, but certainly not all summer. My mom stayed at home and summers were for running free. As much as I wanted some structured activities like lessons or camp my folks just couldn't afford it.

Anonymous wrote:LOVED the years I spent with my kids. Wouldn't trade it for the WORLD. May the flames begin - bring it on!

Yeah, nobody is flaming people who say they love spending time with their kids, but okay.

LOVED the years I spent with my kids. Wouldn't trade it for the WORLD. May the flames begin - bring it on!