MIL says annoying things sometimes, but she actually bends over backwards to make up for it because she knows her son is a dick and that I may control access to her grandchild someday. Not that I would ever withhold access, but MIL is smart.

Mine is a beaut - she is the first to drone on and on and on......about her ailments, in full color detailed detail - a new ailment every week! But, when I have something that is actually real and actually serious (happened once - ever), MIL is the first one to try to beat me down. And MIL wonders why she is so depressed and sullen? Really? She can kiss my arse, for all I care. Or drop dead, that would be good, too.

Anonymous wrote:Bow down. Hah that sounds like my Asian MIL. According to her, a DIL must wait hand and foot on her MIL, and do everything she says, and treat her as the queen of the household.

So I said, well, I'm American, so don't hold your breath.

She's hated me ever since.

Haha! Can you say more about your conversations with her along these lines? How did she convey to you that she expected those things? Does she live close or far?

Bow down. Hah that sounds like my Asian MIL. According to her, a DIL must wait hand and foot on her MIL, and do everything she says, and treat her as the queen of the household.

So I said, well, I'm American, so don't hold your breath.

She's hated me ever since.

Mil told her whole family she was disappointed dh proposed to me. dHs cousin's wife told me one time. It was shocking to me that she talked poorly about me behind my back. I told DH and he lost it with his mother.

I also once saw an email exchange between them where she told him that I should bow down to her (those were the exact words) for how much money she spent on the rehearsal dinner.

She also kept all the cash gifts that were given to us at our wedding that went to her house - she told her friends to send gifts to her place. Which was 7 states away from where we lived.

She offered to buy us a new townhouse in her city; when we chose to live elsewhere, she and fil withdrew all offers of support.

There's a ton more. Personally, the "bow down to me" comment takes the cake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whilst sitting with a big group of friends, MIL gushed and went on and on about how one of the women at the table had the best wedding she had ever been to. She wouldn't stop. It was so gorgeous, so fun, great food, etc. DH and I had just gotten married a few months prior to this conversation.

So? Maybe it really was the best wedding she'd ever been to. Not everything has to be about you. DIL here.

Different poster here. I would bet that is the type of Mil that "digs" at the DIL, but accuses the DIL of digging (instead of her). I know people who have worked with plenty of MILs - seniors age 60+, and some MIL will complain about their DILs, just to get in on the conversation. When I meet the DIL, the DIL is the sweetest, kindest, and often very attractive and put together. I swear some of these MILs are just nasty hags, jealous that life is so much easier and better for their DILs. Some women just can't be happy for younger women; they should be ashamed of themselves and their behavior.

Oh, I want to play.

She always tells me how I am parenting wrong.

She makes derogatory comments about my parenting to my son

She makes fun of my son

Every darn Mother's Day, birthday, Easter etc, I buy and send her gifts and cards. Each time she makes sure to thank my husband only.

She cuts me out of pictures.

She told me that no one was good enough for her son (this was after we were married for 5 years)

I am sure there are more, but I have learned to tune them out.

Anonymous wrote:Whilst sitting with a big group of friends, MIL gushed and went on and on about how one of the women at the table had the best wedding she had ever been to. She wouldn't stop. It was so gorgeous, so fun, great food, etc. DH and I had just gotten married a few months prior to this conversation.

So? Maybe it really was the best wedding she'd ever been to. Not everything has to be about you. DIL here.

Whilst sitting with a big group of friends, MIL gushed and went on and on about how one of the women at the table had the best wedding she had ever been to. She wouldn't stop. It was so gorgeous, so fun, great food, etc. DH and I had just gotten married a few months prior to this conversation.

My MIL thought a great topic for her toast at our wedding (why she demanded to give a toast, I don't know...) would be how one of her friends' kids just went through an awful breakup and she's glad we didn't do that before the wedding.

And then concluded by saying she hoped we could be 'humble Christian servants blessing the world' or something. She's big into hippy social justice catholicism (we are not), and that was just an awkward pronouncement at a rather lavish black tie wedding.

My crazy MIL feels the need to put-down my hometown by calling it redneck, backwoods, or some other derogatory name. Sometimes she seems really nice and thoughtful, then BAM - a backhanded comment that's meant to hurt me.

I think she hasn't gotten over the fact that her baby boy is an adult and her role has changed. Thus, the strange need to subtly slam me.

My MIL has tried to compliment me recently, begrudgingly saying that her son is weak and obviously relies on me for everything (code for I control him and keep him from doing what she wants), and that it's okay because he seems happy with me, although if another woman comes along she doesn't know.

On the day that I met her, the second sentence out of her mouth to me was "No one is trying to take away your happiness, but we just spent the last ten years trying to make a different woman our daughter, sister & aunt." (with full blown tears in her eyes)

Which is odd because she hated my husband's ex's guts.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL always says something memorable when we see her. Probably the best ever was when having a general conversation about life's trials and tribulations, how we each have to deal with challenges she said:

"Look at you, you have it great right now, but who knows, maybe you'll get divorced"

and from that point on I no longer had any guilt about hating her guts.

+1

Hell to the yes. Rude MIL's seem to think the are absolved after a certain age or something. Once a mother/MIL, *ALWAYS* a mother/MIL. I am surprised that the rude MILs want to be remembered as nothing better than a witch. They are supposed to be an example - but mine is an example of what NOT to do, so I suppose there is that.

My MIL always says something memorable when we see her. Probably the best ever was when having a general conversation about life's trials and tribulations, how we each have to deal with challenges she said:

"Look at you, you have it great right now, but who knows, maybe you'll get divorced"

and from that point on I no longer had any guilt about hating her guts.