Is this a set up marriage? from another country? why would you go into that? We get it, young people can be hot. I notice the 20 something year old men walking around too. But, to have a long term relationship-forget it.

I'm 40 and I don't even know how to talk to a 20 year old! They know so little about life. I guess that's like if you are 40 and you're talking to a 70 year old-they know a lot and have experienced a lot.

Does she work? go to college? have her own business? She hasn't experienced much so she might end up straying-anybody can but she might be the one who regret later.

Anonymous wrote:I had a relationship for five years with a girl that was 19 when she moved in with me. I was 47! We had a great life together until when she was 24 and I was 52, that's NOW, she left me with for a 21 year old Mexican she work with at her job as a grocery clerk. Now next month I will be 53 and I am totally alone and devastated. After six months I cannot get over her or on with my life. We loved each other so much and she was super hot and perfect for me in almost every way. I always felt kind of guilty and akward too sometimes in public but of course I could not let her go. Maybe the biggest mistake I have ever made. Please comment and ask me questions and don't be afraid to be honest. I don't want other guys or women to make the same mistake as me. (and her)

Obviously you didn't love each other that much, if she left you for her coworker. Also she was not perfect for you if she was 19 and you were 47. Seriously - you need to get over it. I assume you "loved" her because she was hot.

Anonymous wrote:I had a relationship for five years with a girl that was 19 when she moved in with me. I was 47! We had a great life together until when she was 24 and I was 52, that's NOW, she left me with for a 21 year old Mexican she work with at her job as a grocery clerk. Now next month I will be 53 and I am totally alone and devastated. After six months I cannot get over her or on with my life. We loved each other so much and she was super hot and perfect for me in almost every way. I always felt kind of guilty and akward too sometimes in public but of course I could not let her go. Maybe the biggest mistake I have ever made. Please comment and ask me questions and don't be afraid to be honest. I don't want other guys or women to make the same mistake as me. (and her)

[b]

Yeah. Sorry I don't feel bad for you. What did you expect??

Seriously Doug, grow up. Get over dating women half your age because of your low self esteem and neediness. You're always devastated and blame the women when these 20 year olds dump you and start dating men their own age. Yet you continue the cycle. Have fun growing old alone!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does she want in the future? Kids? The social dynamics are very weird. Most adults still hang out with adults of roughly the same age. People will make assumptions about you and most of them are not positive. Get used to waiters assuming she's out with her dad.

I have a good friend whose parents had a 20+ year age gap. The parents seemed socially isolated and her mother had to basically stop her life for years to take care of her father.

I can see what's in it for you, but I can't see what's in it for your partner...

He must be very wealthy .. Otherwise why would she be interested

OP here.... oddly enough over the past few years of I've found the older women I've dated (38 +) to be more overtly interested in money. Frequently point blank asking questions about annual income, net worth (including balance in retirement accounts and savings accounts), etc. I've found it somewhat disturbing at times.

Really? They're not trying to use you as a sugar daddy like the 20 year old is, they just want to make sure you're financially secure and not a loser. It's disgusting that you want to marry a 20 year old. What do you have in common with her? All your peers' wives are going to hate her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like she just graduated from high school a year or two ago and isn't legal to drink or go to bars half your age?!?

OP here... She if finishing her undergraduate degree.

People change a lot in their 20s. She could be a very different person in 10 years while you're relatively set in who you are.

+1. She has not formed her identity yet. She has not held her first real job or had to otherwise make it in the real world. She is probably feeling anxious about what to do once she graduates. Marriage with a settled, confident person is an attractive choice. Then she turns 30 and realizes she left her youth behind and with a 50 year old.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and considering marriage to a woman half my age. I'm wondering if there is anyone else that has done this and how the dynamics of the relationship changed/worked due to transitions from one stage of life to the next.

She's a kid, it won't last. At 40 why are you wasting time dating people who are much too young? If you want it to last, date close to your age, interests, income, status etc.

When I was 19 I dated a 35-year-old man.

It was about daddy issues.

Older man made me feel special, mature, and competent. The fact that our relationship was kind of striking / shocking to outsiders reinforced my sense that I must be a very special young woman -- which is critical to someone whose father failed to meet his responsibilities (drank to avoid my mother's abuse -- which meant he didn't help me).

In my case, at least I'd been paying my way for a couple of years and held relatively responsible jobs for my age. But I was still a kid and that was why I did it. As for him -- who knows? He was a good guy, really. Not creepy. But I think he was trying to get back a piece of childhood, maybe.

Your girlfriend is a child. She has been living off of her parents and never taken care of herself.

You don't marry kids.

There's also no earthly reason to get married. You have three kids and she's not ready for kids. Date if you must. Shack up after the kids leave at the end of the summer if you absolutely must. But don't ruin this kid's life by shackling her to a guy who has no business starting another family.

Dude, at some point she is going to outgrow you.

Anonymous wrote:I had a relationship for five years with a girl that was 19 when she moved in with me. I was 47! We had a great life together until when she was 24 and I was 52, that's NOW, she left me with for a 21 year old Mexican she work with at her job as a grocery clerk. Now next month I will be 53 and I am totally alone and devastated. After six months I cannot get over her or on with my life. We loved each other so much and she was super hot and perfect for me in almost every way. I always felt kind of guilty and akward too sometimes in public but of course I could not let her go. Maybe the biggest mistake I have ever made. Please comment and ask me questions and don't be afraid to be honest. I don't want other guys or women to make the same mistake as me. (and her)

Plenty of 50 year old single women out there. Try dating a few of them.

PP what do you think you did wrong?

I had a relationship for five years with a girl that was 19 when she moved in with me. I was 47! We had a great life together until when she was 24 and I was 52, that's NOW, she left me with for a 21 year old Mexican she work with at her job as a grocery clerk. Now next month I will be 53 and I am totally alone and devastated. After six months I cannot get over her or on with my life. We loved each other so much and she was super hot and perfect for me in almost every way. I always felt kind of guilty and akward too sometimes in public but of course I could not let her go. Maybe the biggest mistake I have ever made. Please comment and ask me questions and don't be afraid to be honest. I don't want other guys or women to make the same mistake as me. (and her)

10 years ago, you were making partner.
10 years ago, your future wife was making straight A's in 5th grade.

I know someone who is 48 who is dating a 19 yr. old. It's really disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:If you want a good woman, you gotta raise em'.
You can't have anything in common OP. She's 20.
She hasnt even had breasts for a decade.

LOL! Best response. If you think about it that way, it's kind of weird.