Anonymous wrote:Your husband sounds like an ass. You just had a baby, tell him if he brings it up one more time you will get your own room that you are on vacation meant to destress for Pete's sake.

If you are overweight acknowledge it to him and tell him when you are in the mindset to count calories and lose the weight you will, but nothing will change as long as he badgers you.

He sounds incredibly insensitive.

He sounds emotionally abusive, yes.

Whether or not OP needs to lose weight is not the point. Her husband's need to keep harping on it is the point.

The fact that she's nervous about discussing his comments with him directly is a further red flag. Probably he enjoys making her feel bad.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/obesity-research-confirms-long-term-weight-loss-almost-impossible-1.2663585

"So if most scientists know that we can't eat ourselves thin, that the lost weight will ultimately bounce back, why don't they say so?

Tim Caulfield says his fellow obesity academics tend to tiptoe around the truth. "You go to these meetings and you talk to researchers, you get a sense there is almost a political correctness around it, that we don't want this message to get out there," he said.

"You'll be in a room with very knowledgeable individuals, and everyone in the room will know what the data says and still the message doesn't seem to get out."

In part, that's because it's such a harsh message. "You have to be careful about the stigmatizing nature of that kind of image," Caulfield says. "That's one of the reasons why this myth of weight loss lives on."

Health experts are also afraid people will abandon all efforts to exercise and eat a nutritious diet — behaviour that is important for health and longevity — even if it doesn't result in much weight loss.

Traci Mann says the emphasis should be on measuring health, not weight. "You should still eat right, you should still exercise, doing healthy stuff is still healthy," she said. "It just doesn't make you thin."

IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE YOU THIN.

Once a person becomes fat, it is almost impossible to change and become (and stay) thin again. It IS possible to be healthy and fat, and it is important for fat people to eat healthily and exercise regularly.

Your husband sounds like an ass. You just had a baby, tell him if he brings it up one more time you will get your own room that you are on vacation meant to destress for Pete's sake.

If you are overweight acknowledge it to him and tell him when you are in the mindset to count calories and lose the weight you will, but nothing will change as long as he badgers you.

He sounds incredibly insensitive.

Anonymous wrote:Exercise builds muscle, boosts metabolism, increases energy and burns calories. I wouldn't recommend running/jogging to anyone more than 5 or so pounds overweight - better to walk, easier on your joints and you'll keep it up longer. I know lots of folks who disagree with me on that just offering my opinion.

I ran my first 10 mile race at 5'11", 215. Running is not just f or thin people, and walking is not a good substitute for running.

A good friend of mine started running when he was morbidly obese. He would just run during the chorus of a song and walk the rest of the time, then gradually started running more. He is now a marathon runner and fitness instructor, has been in shoe commercials and various magazines have profiled him. Oh and he works full time as an attorney too.

Also some people are just heavier. At a healthy body fat I am 190. (I lift and am more muscly than the average woman). Someone else with a different body type might be fine at 140. Should I not run? I'd recommend walk/run intervals to start, and actually now don't do any steady state cardio. Just intervals.

The sanctimony in this thread is out of control, even for a Monday morning on DCUM.

I have 2 kids under 3, and I'm slim - 5' 10" and 135. What do I do? NOTHING. I nurse, but that's about it. Basically, I eat junk, never work out, and still have a fast metabolism. The weight thing - particularly after pregnancy - is a crapshoot. This endless need to equate pounds = morality is just so tiresome. I have zero desire to wake up a 5 am to run. I have even less desire to hear about how you wake up at 5 am to run, which is not only a topic that inevitably descends into sanctimony, but also is SO BORING... OP, if all the "good role model" PPs of this thread were at a cocktail party, I would much prefer hanging out with you!

OP, if I were you I would (1) tell my husband directly to cut it out and ask for an apology (2) if he does not/gets defensive, just say you are ruining my vacation and go do your own thing. And then I would just do my best to enjoy myself, my funny kids, my baby who will not be a squishy baby much longer, a glass of red wine, a bowl of pasta. It is ridiculous that you would let some pounds (and a jerk DH) rob you of this time of your life. Until your youngest is at least 18 mos, I would just completely let it go. Relaxing and enjoying real food and carving out some time for sleep and self-care is not only the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids, but also probably the best thing you can do for your health/weight anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm absolutely floored by the number of people who think being fat is a choice. News flash no one wants to be fat and feel miserable about themselves.

Sure you could start starving yourself, which is exactly what people mean when they say eat less. Then you are setting yourself up for an eating disorder or some other type of disordered eating. Is that what you want your kids to see?

I worked so hard at becoming happy with my body after having 2 kids. Nothing is the same as it was when we married 8 years ago. I really hope your confidence improves OP because I want you to realize you are worthy of love. And when you make that realization I hope you give your DH a swift kick in the balls and leave him in the dust for treating you this way.

PP who said this would turn into a thread about low calorie meals and exercise was right. PPs, this is not about weight and if you think it is you are a dumbass.

Newsflash: Noone is suggesting starving oneself but the reality is that most people who are overweight/obese eat way too much. You can argue otherwise till the cows come home but that is the truth. Compound overeating with little or no exercise and the result is the obesity epidemic we have today.

Part of overcoming any problem - especially one that has to do with addiction - is recognizing and accepting that there is a problem and then wanting to do something about it. Just because some people have a metabolism that allows them to eat a lot does not excuse those with a normal metabolism that requires moderation and exercise to keep one's weight under control. And yes, metabolism often slows down as one gets older. Such is life.

My dear, I am someone who is disposed to gaining 10 to 15 pounds on my frame easily. If I want to keep my weight at my finest, I have to eat very differently, and resign myself to a restricted caloric intake. I am not obese or overweight by any stretch of imagination, but my finest requires restrictions on eating. I am used to living with deprivation. But don't get up here and tell people they won't feel deprived while maintaining that. Because I became used to living with a degree of hunger over the last 15 years. I am fine with that. Just don't pretend it isn't happening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm absolutely floored by the number of people who think being fat is a choice. News flash no one wants to be fat and feel miserable about themselves.

Sure you could start starving yourself, which is exactly what people mean when they say eat less. Then you are setting yourself up for an eating disorder or some other type of disordered eating. Is that what you want your kids to see?

I worked so hard at becoming happy with my body after having 2 kids. Nothing is the same as it was when we married 8 years ago. I really hope your confidence improves OP because I want you to realize you are worthy of love. And when you make that realization I hope you give your DH a swift kick in the balls and leave him in the dust for treating you this way.

PP who said this would turn into a thread about low calorie meals and exercise was right. PPs, this is not about weight and if you think it is you are a dumbass.

Newsflash: Noone is suggesting starving oneself but the reality is that most people who are overweight/obese eat way too much. You can argue otherwise till the cows come home but that is the truth. Compound overeating with little or no exercise and the result is the obesity epidemic we have today.

Part of overcoming any problem - especially one that has to do with addiction - is recognizing and accepting that there is a problem and then wanting to do something about it. Just because some people have a metabolism that allows them to eat a lot does not excuse those with a normal metabolism that requires moderation and exercise to keep one's weight under control. And yes, metabolism often slows down as one gets older. Such is life.

\

Correction: people who are overweight or obese at some point in their lives ate too much for their current metabolism at the time, or were metabolically compromised and gained wait. It is NOT true that people whose weight is currently stable are currently eating too much. Unless you continue to get fatter and fatter, you are probably not eating too much. But at some point in your life you probably did eat too much. The problem is, once a fat person is fat, it is difficult if not impossible to become un-fat. Countless studies have confirmed this. The body is notoriously unwilling to rid itself of the contents of fat cells once they are full of fat. It will do all kinds of things to maintain stasis. To fight that, you have to overcompensate in a huge way by severely restricting calories and by building much more muscle than a thin person at stasis would need to stay at stasis. Unfortunately, once a fat person has lost a substantial amount of weight, it is nearly impossible to avoid regaining it (95% of people who lose a substantial amount of weight regain it within 5 years, with the exception of those who have had bariatric surgery, which has different risks).

The best thing that a fat person can do is eat whole foods, with a balanced mix of fruits and vegetables, and become more physically fit through strength training and regular cardiovascular exercise. The worst thing to do is starve yourself and then regain the weight on a rebound - health outcomes for yo-yo dieters are MUCH, much worse than for fat people. Some fat people who become much more fit also become less fat. If that's you, bonus! But if your body shape does not change substantially, you can still greatly improve your health by becoming more fit. Your heart rate will improve, blood pressure will improve, blood sugar will improve, and all of this will be good for your health. Try to focus on health, not appearance. (I know this won't make the OP's husband less of a jerk, unfortunately, since he is likely more concerned with appearance.)

What kind of a-hole ruins vacation by watching what their spouse is eating and drinking? Vacations are supposed to be for splurging.

When eating a moderate amount and not gorging on food equates starvation, we have a problem.

Anonymous wrote:I'm absolutely floored by the number of people who think being fat is a choice. News flash no one wants to be fat and feel miserable about themselves.

Sure you could start starving yourself, which is exactly what people mean when they say eat less. Then you are setting yourself up for an eating disorder or some other type of disordered eating. Is that what you want your kids to see?

I worked so hard at becoming happy with my body after having 2 kids. Nothing is the same as it was when we married 8 years ago. I really hope your confidence improves OP because I want you to realize you are worthy of love. And when you make that realization I hope you give your DH a swift kick in the balls and leave him in the dust for treating you this way.

PP who said this would turn into a thread about low calorie meals and exercise was right. PPs, this is not about weight and if you think it is you are a dumbass.

Newsflash: Noone is suggesting starving oneself but the reality is that most people who are overweight/obese eat way too much. You can argue otherwise till the cows come home but that is the truth. Compound overeating with little or no exercise and the result is the obesity epidemic we have today.

Part of overcoming any problem - especially one that has to do with addiction - is recognizing and accepting that there is a problem and then wanting to do something about it. Just because some people have a metabolism that allows them to eat a lot does not excuse those with a normal metabolism that requires moderation and exercise to keep one's weight under control. And yes, metabolism often slows down as one gets older. Such is life.

I didn't read this whole thing but tell him youknow and that the only way to fix it is if 1) he cooks everyday so that you have more time to work out 2) he buys you work out gear and 3) he takes care of the kids while you work out in peace. I would on my own start doing something like fityummymummy (15 minutes a day- great program. There is a new challenge starting this week. You can find her on facebook) and then once I am in the best shape of my life, dump him. He sounds like a horrible human being.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She worked out every day, worked full time, and was a mom. Yeah, right. There aren't enough hours in the day -- unless you are really crappy at your job or your parenting.

Whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day. There are lots of us who are moms, work full time and exercise everyday.

Alot of dads too (work full time and exercise everyday) who aren't crappy parents nor crappy at job.

But once again this thread is sidetracked on how much time it takes to exercise (which, in reality, it doesn't).
If you are too busy to exercise, then DON'T EXERCISE.
Weightloss is 90% dictated by your diet (specifically, caloric intake).
It takes LESS time to eat fewer calories.
Stop with all the damned excuses about how you are fat because of being sooo busy.
False! You are fat because you eat too many bad calories. Stop doing that, and save alot of time with less eating.

It take a long time to retrain yourself not to eat more when you're stressed or tired.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

I work out in a gym at lunch. Is that possible?

How do you do this and keep your job? There's travel time to the gym, changing, workingout, showering, changing back, travel back to work.

We have somebody who does this and he's gone almost 2 hours every day. And he seems to think we don't notice.

The gym is in my building - a Crunch location. Workout is 45 minutes. With changing and showering, I take about 70 minutes. Luckily, I'm a salaried employee, and work more than 8 hours daily, so the two or three times a week I take a slightly longer lunch is NBD to my boss.

Exercise builds muscle, boosts metabolism, increases energy and burns calories. I wouldn't recommend running/jogging to anyone more than 5 or so pounds overweight - better to walk, easier on your joints and you'll keep it up longer. I know lots of folks who disagree with me on that just offering my opinion.

Anonymous wrote:By the way, tons of runners are overweight and untoned. I don't why its constantly suggested.

Running is great because it's free to do and you don't need to belong to a gym or own any special equipment to do it (other than shoes.) It's clearly not for everybody, but it does help alleviate some reasons people supply for why they can't work out.