My brother is married to a gorgeous woman (truly gorgeous) who is about a size 14. She is a caterer so food is her life. She is an amazing person, she has tried to lose weight but says she is meant to be this size. She is actually healthy and doesn't look super big, just slightly larger. She is a great dresser and always well put together and most important my brother is crazy about her.

I would like to think that beauty is more than just a clothing size. Just be healthy, whether for you that is 120 or 160 lbs and of course feel good about who you are. Self love is most important...the rest will follow.

Sorry OP. But I've been there--someone seemed interested, slept with them and they disappeared. Had nothing to do with my body size (i'm very petite) or how I look or performed in bed, and had everything to do with their commitment issues and maturity.

Be that as it may, lose the weight for your health and for your self-esteem (since you do clearly worry about weight and attractiveness) and, as this thread demonstrates, because more people will find you attractive and broaden the pool of available men.

Anonymous wrote:Fat OP here- Went on 4 dates in a row (every night) with him and then today he said he didn't want to see me anymore. Our dates were all 6-8hrs long. We slept together last night and he just texted me now. So you're all right. I'm disgusting. Fine.

Focusing on myself now and the weight loss, not for men but for myself. Like everyone said, when I lose weight I'll have a bigger pool if men to choose from and maybe then I won't find an asshole.

Please, please do not call yourself disgusting because you believed some guy who CLEARLY demonstrated interest in you, and then turned out to be just in it for sex. The way he behaved has absolutely nothing to do with your size, and everything to do with him. Before you go, "yeah, sure" and stop reading this post - think about it: Do you have any friends who are smaller than you? Have you never seen them get screwed over, blown off, cheated on, used for sex? I speak from experience. I am smaller than my BFF, who is a plus size lady. When we first met, I was not dating, and she was. Each time she had a bad experience, she'd say - this wouldn't happen if I looked like you. In the past 2 or so years I have been on the market, she has had her eyes opened watching me go through the exact same nonsense she endured.

Speaking from my/her experience: It's true that your available pool of men will open up if you lose weight, but this won't necessarily correlate to the proportion of quality guys going up. You're still going to meet lousy ones, get treated badly, and have to do the work of digging out the good ones. The biggest difference I can pinpoint is because SHE felt bad about her size, she'd put up with more crap from guys, like "Oh, I have to take them treating me badly or lose weight." That sounds like your immediate reaction too - like this guy would have otherwise been a fabulous, stand-up guy, who'd have behaved like a gentleman if only you'd been 160 lbs. Um, no. He'd still be the same guy he is. As for my friend, she's getting married this summer to a guy who treats her like a queen, is more than 5 years younger, and is a designated professional. And she never lost any weight, and has probably gained some since they've been together.

Re: your weight- do what you want to do for yourself - your health, if you want to be more active, change how you look in clothes, whatever. But if you lose weight expecting that all Prince Charmings and no frogs will be your experience going forward, you're going to be disappointed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm reading these topics to ky DH tonight. .commenting on these posts. His response to this one " sure, she probably gives out , but damn, she's my size!"

You are one lucky woman!

Great comeback PP. I hate when women posters start citing their husbands unflattering opinions.

Anonymous wrote:Fat people eat an average of 6700 calories a day. Obese people obviously eat more.

I'd LOVE to see your source for that number.

The Basal Matabolic Rate for a 25 year old 5'8" woman weighing 215 lbs is about 1800 calories/day. If she's sedentary or only lightly active, multiplying BMR by 1.2 gives a value of about 2200 calories/day. That's the amount of calories needed to maintain a weight of 215 lbs (given 5'8", female, 25 years old).

A pound is equivalent to 3500 calories. So if "fat people" were eating an average of 6700 calories/day, and they had the stats of the OP, they'd be gaining MORE THAN A POUND PER DAY. And 10,000 calories per day? That would equate to gaining more than TWO pounds per day.

Look up BMR calculators and learn something.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. You should focus on making yourself proud of you. Try yoga.

Yoga!

I'm sorry, OP. You should focus on making yourself proud of you. Try yoga.

Anonymous wrote:Fat OP here- Went on 4 dates in a row (every night) with him and then today he said he didn't want to see me anymore. Our dates were all 6-8hrs long. We slept together last night and he just texted me now. So you're all right. I'm disgusting. Fine.

Focusing on myself now and the weight loss, not for men but for myself. Like everyone said, when I lose weight I'll have a bigger pool if men to choose from and maybe then I won't find an asshole.

You say you have a pretty face. Lose about 70 pounds and you will be just awesome. It will take time and will require effort but it will be good for your self-esteem, your social life and your health.

Do it for yourself. Just eat a lot less and exercise more and you will see results.

And yes I know I slept with him too soon, you can all add lonely and dumb to your list of my faults.

Fat OP here- Went on 4 dates in a row (every night) with him and then today he said he didn't want to see me anymore. Our dates were all 6-8hrs long. We slept together last night and he just texted me now. So you're all right. I'm disgusting. Fine.

Focusing on myself now and the weight loss, not for men but for myself. Like everyone said, when I lose weight I'll have a bigger pool if men to choose from and maybe then I won't find an asshole.

Fat people eat an average of 6700 calories a day. Obese people obviously eat more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, no, I would not date you. 215 pounds is humungous and unhealthy and makes me wonder about depression and self-control and other mental issues. And gross odors.

I'm sorry.

LOL, sure you're sorry. Jerk.

No, not a jerk, just honest. 215 pounds is obese. Obese is disgusting and unnatural and unhealthy.

You have to eat about 10,000 calories a day to end up like that. Probably in secret.

You obviously suck at math

No, I don't. Look it up.

Anonymous wrote:I'm reading these topics to ky DH tonight. .commenting on these posts. His response to this one " sure, she probably gives out , but damn, she's my size!"

You are one lucky woman!

I'm reading these topics to ky DH tonight. .commenting on these posts. His response to this one " sure, she probably gives out , but damn, she's my size!"

Obese or not somebody would date her. I've seen women of much greater proportions out enjoying themselves in the company of a their boyfriends and lovers and partners and spouses, we all have so what the f%k is the fuss all about?