Anonymous wrote:The way you raise your kids and the beliefs and attitudes they hold influences their actions. Not all kids are having sex early and it isn't just a crapshoot as to which kids are having sex early. It depends on the beliefs and attitudes your kids have towards sex and being sexually active, same as using drugs, drinking, and other actions.
If you have raised your kids with the beliefs that sex is fun and kids like to have fun so kids are going to have sex as some posters on here have said, then yeah, your kids are likely going to be sexually active early. I also think the posters with this attitude might change their minds when their kids are 12 or 13 and realize - that fun or not, these kids are too young to be out having sex and dealing with the responsibilities that come with it.
I agree with you. Parents have tremendous influence over our kids' morals and attitudes. However, an important element is open, honest communication. Also, we have to be mindful of the behavior we're modeling for our kids. If a parent smokes, its hypocritical to just say "don't smoke". If parents are drinking in excess regularly, it will come across as hypocritical when they tell their kids "don't drink". If you're an aggressive, distracted driver, it will have less impact when you say "be a safe driver". My kids are 16 and 14 and we think both are too young to be sexually active yet. But I'm not naive to think that just saying "I forbid this" will be enough. We expect our kids to be independent, mature, and make decisions for themselves. There comes a point in time when they will decide for themselves if they are going to be sexually active regardless of what I want them to do.