I think it's better to have the kids safe at home, with a plentiful supply of condoms. No need to sex shame them.

I wish I'd started having sex earlier and had more partners instead of falling for the first guy I was sexually attracted to.... He did not end up being a good husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, considering that there will be no sex before marriage, I think this article is sort of moot.

Unless you're the one having (or not having) the sex before marriage, you can't actually say that. What you can say is, "Considering that I will not condone sex before marriage..."

Oh, bullshit. My kids know there's no sex before marriage.

I don't know if you can be 100% sure of that. I was raised christian and my father had always said no sex until marriage. I even promised him I would remain a virgin until I was married. Unfortunately for my father that promise was broken. (fortunately in my eyes; getting laid is the best.) And it happened as soon as i turned 18.

I'm sorry, I really don't wanna knock your theory, but you have to be realistic with the times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I walked in on my daughter and her then-boyfriend years ago. She was riding it like there was no tomorrow. I can't describe my shock. To this day I can't get the image out of my mind.

Why didn't they lock the door?

I didn't ask her. Heat of the moment I guess.

Anonymous wrote:I walked in on my daughter and her then-boyfriend years ago. She was riding it like there was no tomorrow. I can't describe my shock. To this day I can't get the image out of my mind.

Why didn't they lock the door?

What do I say?

No.

Anonymous wrote:I walked in on my daughter and her then-boyfriend years ago. She was riding it like there was no tomorrow. I can't describe my shock. To this day I can't get the image out of my mind.

I'm sure she is just as embarrassed.

I walked in on my daughter and her then-boyfriend years ago. She was riding it like there was no tomorrow. I can't describe my shock. To this day I can't get the image out of my mind.

My parents never talked to me about sex, birth control, anything except to make it clear they did not believe in sex before marriage.

Nevertheless, I started having sex at 16. I had sex with boyfriends in my bedroom in our house when they were not home. Also, I had unprotected sex, and sex with guys I did not know well, at parties and in cars and even in parks outside. I did not have a good situation with regards to sex as a teen.

I don't know exactly how I will handle the whole sleep-overs-for-teenagers question. But I do know I will be open with my kids about sex from the time they are very little, and give them the idea that it's normal and healthy and they can talk to me about anything because I am not going to judge them. I will talk to them not just about the nuts-and-bolts biology but about the tricky emotional issues as well.

I would much rather my older teenagers have protected sex in my house with someone they really care about than get into the kinds of situations I was in. I don't really know how you can say, "This is a healthy, normal thing" while also saying "and you can never, ever do it in my house." It doesn't make sense, somehow.

Anonymous wrote:I want to know where this place is with non-college-attending teenage atheists living without parents in the big city, with free porn after 11 pm on TV, no teen pregnancy, almost no HIV, and much less divorce (among whom?).

(Also, for the purposes of this discussion -- "committed romantic relationship" means that the teenagers think of themselves as boyfriend/girlfriend or boyfriend/boyfriend or girlfriend/girlfriend.)

Its in Eastern Europe. and most people live with their parents, in smallish apartments, that was a typo. Much less divorce among those people who marry, whom else? I think there is no more free porn, not because anyone was offended, just because of cost. Nudity is very common in all movies and movies are not rated. it is not unusual to see full frontal nudity at 8 pm. It's a much more sexually relaxed culture yet without bizarre excesses common in the US.

PP was right that US is a mix of puritanical and sex-obsessed, however totally incorrect that the proper balance is rationalization of sex trough rules and lectures and parent micromanaging and enabling of it. That is just another American deviation, an extension od helicopter parenting and sounds totally crazy to people from my culture.

I want to know where this place is with non-college-attending teenage atheists living without parents in the big city, with free porn after 11 pm on TV, no teen pregnancy, almost no HIV, and much less divorce (among whom?).

(Also, for the purposes of this discussion -- "committed romantic relationship" means that the teenagers think of themselves as boyfriend/girlfriend or boyfriend/boyfriend or girlfriend/girlfriend.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but what does space have to do with hookup culture? To the contrary, when you make sex convenient, you encourage lots of it.

"Hook-up culture" (if there even is such a thing) doesn't mean you have lots of sex. It means you have sex outside of the context of a committed romantic relationship.

I don't know anyone who had that. And we were all atheists, living in a big city (with out parents). No bizarre virginity pledges, and freaking out when a nipple shows on TV (in fact, porn was accessible for free after 11 pm). No teen pregnancy, HIV virtually nonexistent, much lower divorce rate. etc, etc.

You did not know any teenagers who had sex outside a committed romantic relationship? Seriously?

I don't know what is "commited romantic relationship". I never used that term my whole life. It sounds like some Aerican crap, trying to sterilize all relationships from emotions and passions.

There were very few one time stands (I don't know any of my friend having any). There are no non nonstop parties at colleges, partly because only few people go to college (those that will actually learn something) and most of those who do, live with their parents throughout college years. There are no fraternities, college sports, non stop drinking and other crap that I have seen here young people do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but what does space have to do with hookup culture? To the contrary, when you make sex convenient, you encourage lots of it.

"Hook-up culture" (if there even is such a thing) doesn't mean you have lots of sex. It means you have sex outside of the context of a committed romantic relationship.

I don't know anyone who had that. And we were all atheists, living in a big city (with out parents). No bizarre virginity pledges, and freaking out when a nipple shows on TV (in fact, porn was accessible for free after 11 pm). No teen pregnancy, HIV virtually nonexistent, much lower divorce rate. etc, etc.

You did not know any teenagers who had sex outside a committed romantic relationship? Seriously?

Anonymous wrote:America is this wierd mix of puritanical and hyper-sexual. Reading this thread I can see why. God forbid any parents teach their kids that sex is a natural part of life, and to be enjoyed in the context of a loving relationship. So instead, you get unsafe hookups in parking lots or 27 year old virgins.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but what does space have to do with hookup culture? To the contrary, when you make sex convenient, you encourage lots of it.

"Hook-up culture" (if there even is such a thing) doesn't mean you have lots of sex. It means you have sex outside of the context of a committed romantic relationship.

I don't know anyone who had that. And we were all atheists, living in a big city (with out parents). No bizarre virginity pledges, and freaking out when a nipple shows on TV (in fact, porn was accessible for free after 11 pm). No teen pregnancy, HIV virtually nonexistent, much lower divorce rate. etc, etc.