Let's see. Grew up in the midwest. Went to a private school through 8th grade. I did not fit in -- I was there for the academics, I wasn't rich, I wasn't handsome, was bullied a lot, and I hated it. Went to public high school, and changed into an athletic young man over the course of a year. Straight A student in AP courses, homecoming court every year, dated whoever I wanted. Was friends with the jocks, nerds, dorks, weirdos, I just really liked everyone and was happy to be out of the private school environment and have lots of friends. Didn't smoke, drink, or cause trouble. I was the kid every parent wanted.

In college I struggled a bit; went to a school with a lot of type A personalities. I wasn't interested in partying hard outside of the academic environment, and in all honesty, I found myself getting tired of all the social interaction in high school. Made 2-3 really good friends -- like brothers -- but not many outside of that. I'm actually fine with that. Today I count myself having a couple very close friends, and I'm happy with that.

A series of medically related events occurred which kept me from pursuing my planned career path. I found something else I was good at, but don't particularly love. Met a spouse, whom I love dearly, and enjoys quiet and solitude as much as I do.

Got married, am reasonably happy, but my career hasn't taken the expected trajectory -- in part because of a late arriving kiddo that's caused me to choose to spend less time working and more time at home (a happy decision). Although I don't like my work all that well, it turns out I'm one of only a few that are very good at it; thusly, I'm paid nicely, and hope to retire early and enjoy a quiet and peaceful retirement without too many folks around.

I think people who knew me in high school might wonder why I wasn't running for office, starting a company, or why I wasn't the center of a large social circle. Oddly, although I could try and successfully do any those things if I chose to, I just have no interest in doing so ...

My high school had hybrid cliques. For example, the most popular kids were also the smartest Honors & AP classes kids. Not the nerdy kids playing D&D at lunch or the band geeks, those were separate groups. And 90% of the jocks were also Honors & AP class kids. Very few jocks actually fit the dumb jock stereotype. They're all pretty successful now as adults. I've kept in touch with some and I'm just Facebook friends with others.

It seems like the kids who struggle the most as adults are the ones who were the D&D super nerds and the bad kids. Those are the adults I see now when I go back to my hometown. They're the ones working random retail jobs and are just as weird as they were (or just as big of losers as they were back then, when talking about the bad kids).

There was a group of "Elite kids" who were the rich kids. Some were smart and a few were jocks, but for the most part they were dumb, entitled, and spoiled brats. But we all still wanted to be friends with them because they went on the awesome vacations and threw the best parties. Most are either trophy wives or working in the family business and are successful.

The notion that the popular kids and jocks "get what's coming to them" after high school and the nerds take power is really mainly just in the movies. The popular kids and jocks keep being popular and successful because of their personalities. They're outgoing, confident, tenacious, and good net workers.

I have always been a female athlete, shy cool girl, and closet nerd. However, these days I am not embarrassed to show my geeky side. I try and teach my daughter the same - there are many sides to our personalities and we should not be pigeon-holed into categories or stereotypes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a chubby, brainy nerd. If I could keep it anonymous I'd send you my picture freshman year of college and senior year. I had a total makeover--hair, clothes, lost 40lbs. So, I got a great career as a brain and now look hot. Classic ugly duckling story.

Oh and as far as social goes...I was super shy in high school, but it was a self-esteem thing. By the end of college I felt a lot better and was much more outgoing. I'll probably always be a little quirky, but it works for me.

Sister me too! I dropped 60 pounds between graduation and the end of Christmas my freshman year of college. In hindsight, I was depressed in high school, bored and frustrated that I wasn't living life yet. I actually got into pulling myself together looks wise and realized holy hell I'm stunning . Who know dropping 60 pounds and getting a haircut and learning how to put on make up and dressing decently would do wonders (I wore sweats all the time in high school).

I was poor and lived in a trailer in Woodbridge. So I had poverty issues.

I went to school out of state (on a full scholarship with loans to cover my living expenses), so I didn't come home until Christmas. I was eating dinner at a restaurant when one of the bartenders sent a drink over (I was a minor and obviously didn't drink it since I was with my Aunt -- who happily took it for me). He then proceeded to try to hit on me, which is hilarious and sad because this was the same guy who would literally bark at me when I walked down the hall.

I am fairly successful in the DCUM way (biglaw attorney who's married to a physician and has no time, but plenty of money). I actually vowed to never return to DC but life had other plans and I've been toiling away her for 20 years. Live in what I see as my dream house in North Arlington. Raising three kids with the help of a nanny and housekeeper. The kids have no idea how poor I was or what my life was like. It's almost like that person in high school no longer exists. But she does.

I was the nice guy that everyone liked but never invited to parties. I never could figure that one out.

I went to an all girls' private where it was cool to be smart. My crowd ran everything except student government which was run by another group but we all got along and went to elite colleges, Ivy or equivalent, and everyone has graduate degrees.

I still keep in touch with most of my hs friends even though we are spread all over the world.

I have a very nice life. DH is retired. We have a child in elementary school. We travel a lot for fun and for child's hobby. Wouldn't change a thing.

I'm from a small town (120 kids in my graduating class - the largest class to ever graduate from my HS before or since). All of the 'popular' kids pretty much married their high school sweet hearts and are all still in that small town, still hanging out with the same people they did in HS and still reliving the 'good old days.' Some of them went to college.

I was nerdy and desperately wanted to get out - so I did. Worked hard enough in school to get into the college I wanted. Went to college in the city, and moved to DC after graduation with the man who would become my husband. We both have good careers, just bought a house that we love in a really great community and get to do the things we like - eat well, cook, travel, go to shows/plays, go hiking. It's pretty awesome. And I'm so glad I got out of that small town.

This thread is a bit depressing to me. I think I was one of those people who peaked in college/grad school and then it's all been downhill from there.

In high school I was in the smart, nerdy, goody two shoes crowd. I never drank any alcohol or smoked. Never went to parties. Just studied, did extracurriculars like the newspaper (was editor in chief), and worked in the summers at a movie theater. I did date a lot in high school though, and that distracted me from my studies a lot. The only rebeliuos thing I did was when I was a senior I had a much older boyfriend who my parents didn't like. I got into a good liberal arts college, one of the top 10, but was rejected by every Ivy League school I applied to.

In college I was definitely at the top of my game. Graduated with honors, studied abroad several times, dated a lot, had a boyfriend, had great friends, did a lot of extra-curricular activities, I looked great.

In grad school I got good grades, met my now husband, had the biggest adventure of my life when I moved to a big, exciting city after graduation to be with him. I was slim, gorgeous, and had a lot of fun all the time.

Sadly, after that it's all been downhill. Now I'm 38, the bloom is off the rose in terms of my looks (I'm still slim and trim though I look really old), I really dislike where I live/neighborhood, my marriage has issues, I'm infertile (trying for baby #2), I'm constantly lonely, and don't have the community/village I want and need. My career never went anywhere and I never really had a career, just a series of jobs. I currently work part-time in a job that I like but I only make $15 per hour. I feel like I really need to turn things around but there are so many issues I don't know how.

I was a studious, painfully shy loner. I eventually got married and had kids, but still prefer solitude. I think I'm more enlightened than a good percentage of the population and have avoided pitfalls others fall into.

I referred to myself as a 'floater'. I was basically nice to everyone and mixed well with the jocks, band kids, cheerleaders, nerds, religious, punks, upper class, lower class, etc. I wasn't the best athlete, but I worked harder than most and became captain of the football team. Being nice to everyone got me voted to the homecoming court although I did drink most weekends to excess. The most popular kids were not my closest friends...I hung out more with the second tier popular kids. I was B student and went to an average public college.

What set me apart was hard work/determination. If the smartest person in the class studied an hour for a test, I would study 6 hours. The hard work carried over to my jobs where I consistently put in the longest days, worked through lunch, while still taking time to be kind/respectful to everyone. I'm in my mid-40s and made it to the 1% club. Married now with 2 kids and I am finally started to live a normal life with a 9 to 5 schedule. I always believed that hard work trumps qualities such as intelligence (most of the time).

Popular nerd. Deep in friend zone with the hotties. Now a doctor, married to a beautiful woman, with two kids, a nice house on 5 acres. Literally living the dream.

I went to a very small private school PK-12

I was smart, an athlete, a thespian and an artist. You pretty much had to do everything at my school.

I turned out pretty well if I might say so myself. I have a successful business, 2 great kids and a great husband. We live a good life- private school for the kids, we serve on local boards, we have great friends and we take some pretty awesome vacations each year.

I was a nerd who played tennis and had good friends but was definitely far from "popular". I went to a school where being smart was not cool and I was too tall, too thin, and too flat-chested.

Fast-forward and I have a successful career, great kids, an awesome husband and we live a great life. My husband was a druggie and underachiever in HS and the people he grew up with thought he'd amount to little. Turns out he was brilliant but had a learning disability. He ended up in a career that's perfect for both his personality and his still untreated LD. He makes a lot of money and loves his job.

I ended up filing out and becoming comfortable in my own skin and while I'm far from a cover girl, I've had many men in the last 30 years tell me that I'm incredibly sexy.

Who knew?!

Cheerleader, homecoming queen, lead of the school play, selectively good student ( sucked in math / science )
Scholarship to state school

Now ?
I work professionally in the arts. Make a good living, married with kid. Nice home.

Anonymous wrote:I was a druggie/nerd. Went on to play rock and roll for a while before going to law school. Now a parent and attorney. Life has turned out fine so far! But I would love it if my kids abstained from drugs and alcohol until at least college. Definitely had a few close calls and feel lucky I was unscathed by my wild years.

Same here: druggie/ nerd. I went to H-B Woodlawn in Arlington in the mid-late 90s, though, so I definitely wasn't in the minority amongst my classmates . DH was the same and had no problems majoring in Chemistry for undergrad because of it, LOLLL. No problems landing good jobs or anything after grauation. We have three little kids and lead a pretty normal life now, although he does occasionally use his skills to make marijuana oil for friends and family who suffer from cancer.